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MOSCOW (The Borowitz Report)—After placing strict bans on journalists’ coverage of Russia’s war against Ukraine, Vladimir Putin clarified that any ban on journalists did not include Tucker Carlson.

“When it was reported that I was limiting the reporting of journalists, some may have misconstrued that to include Tucker,” Putin said. “To the contrary, I am an enormous fan of his work and want him to continue doing what he’s doing.”

“It pains me to think that I might have unintentionally insulted Tucker Carlson,” he said. “His work has given me great joy.”

Putin said that he was issuing his clarification out of an abundance of caution. “I had thought that it was clear that I didn’t mean Tucker Carlson when I said ‘journalists,’ ” he said.

ChurchLess 7 Mar 3
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4 comments

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0

Tucker Carlson is not a journalist. He's an opinionated prick.

A report went out from the Faux Noise lawyers explaining the the media is strictly for entertainment and should not be taken seriously. Too bad, like the real media, they don't announce a disclaimer with that fact.No one and I mean no one should be paying attention to this media. Sometimes they try to confuse people and put out some real news but why bother where there is enough out there already.

1

Everything he has should be confiscated!

5

While one may believe this to be true, especially from Fucker's past dick sucking of Putin it is only satire.

The edge comes from its realism.

4

We who know Borowitz know he does satire, so even Putin dislikes him.

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