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How do you communicate a refusal to donate to religious groups? (more inside)

I held out a $5 donation and then...

I was just in the nearby shopping mall and saw a table where they wrap gifts and the money goes to charity. Where I came from, the local high school band used to do this. So out of habit, i started pulling out a $5 dollar bill... then looked at their sign and saw that the donation goes to a local Pentacostal Church. The bill went back into my wallet and I said that I might come back if I bought something to wrap.

This is an example of my conflict avoiding response to such things. They did NOT reach out to me, so I have no issue with the nice people behind the table. But - should I have told them I was not going to be back and why?

MrLizard 8 Dec 9
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26 comments

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7

I use the acronym THINK when it comes to issues like this. T- is it true, H - is it helpful, I - is it inspiring, N - is it necessary, and K - is it Kind? From what your told us, it would have been true, but not necessarily helpful, nor inspiring, not really necessary and not kind. They weren't harming you,they were minding their own business. I hope this helped you.

5

I think it's best to avoid confronting the workers themselves about the religious nature of their charity. They're there to do something they think makes a positive contribution, and you won't change their mind; you'll only upset them and make them feel bad. If you feel strongly that they shouldn't be there, however, you might want to speak with the store manager about it. I never have a problem with such soliciting (except for the Salvation Army, because they ring that bell incessantly), and when they ask if I'd like to donate I just reply, "No, thank you," and keep walking.

5

Because you were getting ready to offer and they were not asking directly, you needn't have said anything, especially since what you did say was a false statement which I assume was designed more to salve your conscience than to make them feel better.

Understood.

Hear ... hear...!

4

I think you handled it quite well, I'd avoid a conflict too.

4

If asked, I just tell them no thank you. No need to go into a long speech as to why unless they press the issue.

4

Give to charities that resonate with who your are - feels better !

4

You don't owe them anything. Charity and how we choose how we want to give is voluntary. I say I'm all set thank you.

4

It's too bad that groups with more general acceptance aren't taking or given the opportunity to run gift wrapping tables, but it is what it is. Unless someone at the table asks you, I don't think there's any point in getting into a discussion with them.

3

body language

3

If I come across one of the religious stands, I nod politely as I pass by. If I get a telephone request , my stock answer is: " I'm sorry, but I do not respond to telephone solicitations from, AMY organization "(which is true -- I consider such calls an invasion of my privacy) and hang up before they can say anything else If they come to the door, I turn them away politely.

3

You’ve likely a bit more edicate than me 😉 Granted, my responses have likely mellowed with time, but I’ve been known to explain to the ‘girl scouts’ outside a grocery store (usually with moms in attendance) that I didn’t want my donation going to a religious organization ...or something like that.

In the case you’ve described, I’d have likely stood there honestly contemplating ... they’d have noticed, described their cause, allowing me to describe my concern …or something like that.

We each have our tolerance and comfort level with this stuff. It’s interesting talking with my ‘newly adult daughters,’ they’ll describe as having recently ‘explained themselves’ with pride in such a situation - following up with ‘how much they hated it’ when I’d done that around them as kids… I think it’s best to let our thoughts be know; if they can make theirs public, why shouldn’t we?

Varn Level 8 Dec 9, 2017

Are the Girl Scouts a religious organization? The Boy Scouts are, but I always understood the Girl Scouts to be secular.

I’m gonna be lazy and not research it.. but at one time I recall there being a controversy over religious connections with the girl scouts, too… It may have been worked out, or denied, but when current, tainted my thoughts toward them as much as the boys…

2

As far as I know the Pentecostals do nothing for anyone- I would have just walked past and said nothing. I would donate or volunteer to/for the Mennonites though. They earn their own money through their used clothing and furniture stores, which are ultra clean. YES, there are donation boxes in their stores- but no one has ever asked me to donate.

One of their projects was to purify water in countries like Africa. Water was put in clear containers and placed on metal racks in the sun for about 24 hours. The ultra violet rays killed bacteria. Low cost and doable- not like hauling some huge equipment thousands of miles- that would soon break down.

2

No, I believe you did the right thing. They usually just get offended if you say anything about why you won't donate. I donated a 10 to a religious organization that helped homeless people, they didn't mind me looking them up online, and I made sure they didn't turn people away based on fuck ups or because of how they look. I questioned them, and they were respectful to me as I was to them. But not everyone is so respectful. Lots will degrade you.

1

You didn’t need to explain. They were offering a service, not donations.

I donate to local charities, mostly education, women’s shelter and PP

1

My answer may not go with this question in reference to religion. There are too many worthy charities that need donations so I limit myself to two types, Animals and Veterans. I just tell everyone my stance on how I feel. Even though my daughter is battling cancer I don't donate to that cause.

1

I say no..............and do not explain my decision.

Khmm Level 5 Feb 16, 2018
1

In that exact scenario, not having seen the sign, I would start to hand the $5, then notice the sign, then calmly say "No thanks" and put the money back -- definitely letting them know that the sign is what changed my mind.

1

I print these out vouchers (found in this link
[thestranger.com]
and drop them in every red kettle I see!

1

I have for many years donated time and money to children's causes all over the world and still do. They are the most vulnerable and in need the most. From cleft issues to all sorts of disease and starvation. When I think of the money the Vatican has and all the harm it has caused in the world with their stupid dog nonsense, ops...did I say dog? I meant ...well you know who the " invisible man who lives in the sky". Anyway, obey is the theme of a church and send them money all the time instead of buying food for your family or paying the hydro. And you get to go to heaven who needs to eat when you're selling that. Now that's food for thought...

1

Hey... I think your on the right tract. A simple exclamation stating the truth. Sounds good.

0

I am honest, tell them I am a heretic and also that if I choose to help I do so directly and not via a means where most of my contribution is lost to admin costs.

0

You don't owe them an explanation. Besides only 33% of a charity donation ever actually makes it to the charity itself.

Yes 33%- maybe much less, and with some of these organizations the criminals/directors are making huge salaries.I would never give to any evangelical organization. I heard that even Jimmy Carter broke away from the Southern Baptist. Carter is involved with Habitat for Humanity- and to me, he is a decent human being.

0

Possible comments I choose to be more constructive with my donations. You can use the I will have to check to see if you are legitimate there are many scams out there. I some times say all ready gave at the office.

0

Very easy: You tell them "I don't contribute to fantasies and lies." or by saying "I am an Atheists, get lost." LOL

0

Tell them the truth. I've donated elsewhere, or that I don't carry cash.

Zster Level 8 Dec 9, 2017
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