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Who else feels compelled to hide their atheism from co-workers?

Story time: when I was in a class in 5th grade sitting at a table with half a dozen other students, I responded to another kid's question by telling them, "my family never goes to church. I don't know anything about Jesus". Half the kids left the table and one of them told our teacher Mrs. B (Timber Creek Elementary Raymore, MO 2001). Ever since then I have been selectively about who I will talk to about these things. I've gotten older, and realize how it can affect my ability to work cooperatively in society. It's not right, but I can't alienate my fellow workers by telling them the truth. Is there any consensus here on how to approach these situations?

habemushummus 4 May 9
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42 comments

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7

My religious beliefs or lack there of are no more my co-workers business than their religious beliefs or lack there of are mine.

We are not in the work place to debate religion. We are there to do a job.

5

We had a local incident recently where a teaching assistant "corrected" an atheist student during a lunchtime conversation between students over religion. She humiliated the kid. I'm sorry you went through that.

The truth is that your religious fellow workers already know the truth. You have the guts to face mortality head-on. They prefer to pretend that they are the center of the universe, literally. They are going to feel threatened by anything that suggests otherwise. There's just not much you can do with that.

I would never volunteer that I am atheist in the workplace. If I were gay, I would never volunteer that I am gay in the workplace either. Doing activist work through your local "freethinker" group is a much better way to feel connected. At work, just smile sweetly and nod, like you would with an intellectually disabled person.

Outside of belief in deity, I think you will find that atheists do not come to consensus on much of anything.

Tracy Level 2 May 10, 2018

Thank you for the insight. It's surprising how much singular events in childhood end up shaping a person.

5

Yes, unfortunately it can be very dangerous career wise to being an open atheist. With 70% of the U.S. at least claiming to be Christian, and many regarding atheists lower than thieves and rapists, you will likely get a pretty negative reception. There are seven states that have laws preventing a atheist from running for public office or serving on jury duty. However, now that I am retired I could give a crap what they think. LOL

4

I don't hide it from them. We constantly insult each other as a joke about god/jesus. It's funny.

Would you feel differently if you were a supervisor to the same co-workers?

@habemushummus Yes. My bosses are jesus freaks. So are all the co-workers.

@Sarahroo29 ah thank you for that. I have alot more to consider when I go to work lol

@habemushummus Oh, it's different for each person I guess. I send one boss offensive atheism memes. She likes them.

4

I have to keep it quiet. If it came out, it would become a toxic enviornment quickly.

I'm the only free-thinker, liberal, atheist at work. I get roasted over the damn sports teams that I like. If they found out I'm an atheist, I would have to leave. I have anger management issues and it wouldn't be pretty.

3

I don't go about advertising my beliefs. Am I concerned what others think? Turn to chapter 41, verse 17 in the book of Larry where it is written 'And thou shalt not give th one shit. And one shit thou shalt not give th unto them.'

LMAO, love it, LMAO

@LibrePenseur
Don't encourage me! I have scriptures stuffed up my sleeves!

3

I just don’t talk about it, but, if the subject comes up, I don’t hide it either.

3

Where I work is a mix of irreverent techies and Texas banker types which is actually great! Virtually nobody talks about religion openly, everybody is respectful, and it proves that different types of people can all work together to get good shit done.
I'll never deny it if asked openly or having a real talk with someone I'm closer to, but 90% of the time it's a non-issue.
Strangely one of the coldest reactions I ever got was with some brothers I like to get drunk and chill with. They never go to church, have never said anything about Christianity, swear like fish and drink like sailors...or whatever, you get the idea. But one of them acted like I'd just turned in to a gremlin and kept asking how I wasn't scared of hell.

3

You should never be afraid of telling people what you believe in. People ask me sometimes what I am and I tell them "atheist". Some even ask me what that is....... honestly.
Must be the U.S. education system that doesn't work.

3

I don't advertise it, but I also don't hide it. On occassion, it does get me in trouble since I usually live in heavily Christian cities.

2

No expert, but I'd say...be true to yourself. You should be proud of your views. Whether you mention your feelings or not is completely up to you. Not much guidance I suppose, sorry.

Keech Level 5 May 10, 2018
2

I work in a non religious organisation, but often seconded to a church. I keep telling them I am an atheist, and every time it is, "REALLY?" and sometimes they get a bit snarky with me. And they really don't like the public talking to me in case it is contagious I guess.

2

Eh I don't advertise or flaunt it but I don't avoid it...Granted it garnered some negative attention in my grade school years but in the words of a fellow sailor "I am what I am!".

2

The question should not be "Who else feels compelled to hide their atheism from co-workers?" but rather why you feel compelled to discuss it all? I've never felt the need to discuss it - nor have I felt the need to wear my PJ's at work - there's a private life and a work life. My political and religious views are no one's business but my own. I never mix my private life with my work life. I have no desire to have co-works as my best friends - it eliminates a ton of potential drama.

Well I suppose I am in a business that relies on camaraderie among employees. I help run a small local business with my family. You could describe my job as an operations manager. We work based on contracts and so it's important to have good communication. I also have to deal with the situations where people need to take time off work because of family reasons. We do share some information about that and it usually ends up leading somewhere down that road of what religious affiliation is, do you go to church on Sundays, praying for people's family or dealing with illness and death through prayer. I never raise these topics. But I have tons of employees that express curiosity about these things. If it were up to me, I keep the conversations casual. How about the Royals/ Chiefs/ Tbones? How's your doggy doing? Did you see rain in the forecast? Etc. I would never deliberately lie about being a non believer but it's difficult to always change the subject or avoid conflict. I was just wondering if people had ever experienced alienation because of it. Do you think it would offend people if I told them that it's not appropriate to talk about these things? I think that could be construed as offensive, but I would 100% prefer people kept it to themselves the same way I do.

@habemushummus The part about this being a family business was not there when I commented - family is always nosey and into your business. I was from the mindset that this was a job at Enterprise Car Rental (figuratively speaking) and based on that my advice is correct. Working with family - I got nothing and I don't envy you.

2

I think as I get older I'm hiding more and more. Not because I have stuff to hide but because being too open makes life uncomfortable and needlessly blood pressure raising. If someone knows me long enough and we get along well, I'll divulge things. Or if I talk with someone and read them as an open/non-judgmental person, I might share – Tell them I'm an atheist. But I'm done with discussing these things with strangers (99.9% done).

PS. This goes with politics too. Life is bigger than these dogmatic human beliefs. Feeling good is more important than standing on an "opinion throne."

2

I've never hid my nonbelief .
While I don't advertise, I've no problem stating my position in no uncertain terms when need be.

Like you I don’t hide it. I have been asked “why don’t you believe in god?” I gave an honest answer but didn’t make the person asking feel stupid for asking it.

2

Most nights, religion never comes up and I'm completely happy to work and just pretend religion doesn't even exist. Other nights, it does come up and I mostly just abstain from any of those conversations - it's usually easy because there's usually something that needs done in another room. If I'm asked a direct question, I'll answer honestly. Some of my coworkers know I'm an atheist and I'm pretty sure the rest have either figured it out or suspect, but it's not my job to tell them my life story.

2

Not going to lie it's one of the few things about england I like honestly no one gives a crap about what you believe or don't believe. It's not so much as no one talks about religion but as long as you don't go shoving your religion in peoples faces no one cares. You could believe in a 15 headed monkey god and as long as your not shouting about it by all means go ahead. The inmates are not running the asylum if a politician in England claimed god wanted them to become prime minister well they would probably find themselves in a padded room kinda quick.

2

I waited until i was 60 and my career behind me before i was open. Now i tell it loud and clear.

2

Two of my coworkers know, but they are also agnostics. I don't generally advertise it, and I find it good practice to not talk about religion or politics at work.

2

I am not anymore hiding it. If they can't take it, who cares? If I'm not allowed to be myself, I'm the wrong place. Come work for me 🙂

😀 great attitude!

2

I have several co-workers who debate with me. I know quite a bit about religion and it surprises them when I quote something they didn't know. Always trying to be respectful of them personally and debating not bashing.

1

Reading below gave me more insight into what you are really dealing with.
Basically, I try to keep in mind that their delusions give them some mental comfort, and I'll NEVER convince them that their delusions aren't real.
That said tho', I maintain my disinterest in such malarkey, and try to keep my comments simple.
"I really don't have any interest in discussing my thoughts about that." OR...
"Yeah, I guess we view it differently."
Hardcore "converters" may need a "I tend to think of that more from a Zen viewpoint." That tends to be a tad funny, as they don't usually have a handy comeback, and most are afraid to learn about such heathen thinking!

It really feels like a delicate balance between, 'im nice to you because we work together' and 'please don't force me to respond in a way I am 100% sure will upset you'.

1

I don't talk about it continually, but luckily I've been at my company long enough to not fear issues from it

1

I don't talk about it but I don't hide it either if the topic comes up.

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