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Should I baptize my kids to appease my mom?

My mother keeps complaining that my kids arent baptised. i just tell her that if they want to do it when they get older then ill do it. but she insist that it happen now...
what would you do?

Yvette77 3 Oct 5
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51 comments

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1

Toss a little water on my kid's forehead to get my mom to shut up.....hmmm. I'm pretty sure I would pick the splash of water. This is different, it's not like you're altering body parts or indoctrinating them into a religion. My mom had me baptised I'm still an atheist. In the end, you have to go with your gut.

Way to go

1

It's up to you... and your kids. Your kids are yours, not your mom's. I personally think that parents should wait and let their kids decide (having been baptized a time or two).

Yes, they (parents) have had their time

1

It comes down to you and your mother’s relationship. You have every right to raise your children in whichever manner you see best, but your mother is.. well your mother lol Some will tell you not to concede to your mother’s request since you’re irreligious, but like I said, it depends on the relationship between you and your mom. I would personally do it just to appease my mom and make her happy even if I don’t personally believe in it. I see it as doing no harm. Your children will still have the freedom to choose their own path regarding piety/spirituality.

Correct

2

It is your child, not hers. How you raise your child is your business, not hers. She raised her kid(s) already. It is your time. 🙂
Just my thoughts.

Correct . . . but unless you really want to draw the line, with that attitude, I just hope you won't be asking any more favors or advise from your mom

1

I would say no because I am not hiding who I am anymore. If I plan to raise my children as atheists, then I would need to start being honest about it from the get go. I would have to stand up to my mother eventually so why not start at the beginning. I would explain very patiently and kindly that they are my children and I will raise them the best way I know how and this is what I believe and this is what my spouse and I want for them. At some point, I would need to make it clear to her that I expect her to respect my wishes and not talk about her religious beliefs when around my children, but that talk could wait for another day. Putting off a difficult task to a later date does not make the task any easier, in fact, in my opinion it gets harder as we have longer to dread it. There's a quote that goes something like, to not face a fear means that you will face it a thousand times.

Very well said. I certainly agree

1

I'd tell her to mind her own affairs. If she can't accept or respect your decisions as a rational adult then your relationship is not a good one.

Don't you think that's kinda harsh? We can always say it in a nice way

2

I had endured this conversation almost weekly with my mother when my kids where young. She finally stopped and I noticed a bottle of holy water in her fridge. I asked her what it was for. She said it was for blessing the new house. I suspect she poured some on my kids as a "close enough" type deal. It's just water and it made her feel better. The whole ceremony at the church was never going to happen though.

That's wonderful, you made your mom feel better.

I hope she poured some on your kids before she put it in the fridge, not after the water was ice-cold.

Your kids didn't know what happened. They're innocent.

2

I was dedicated back in the 70s. I particiated in religon when i had my first son, he was baptised but my youngest son was, I always joked my older son won't go to hell but my youngest will..A JOKE please understand in MY MIND. My oldest refuses to be part of religoin he thinks its a cult and a joke now...my youngest is slowly following, they are non belivers..

My best regards to you and your sons!

1

I understand those who say it's just a splash of water that won't do any harm. But in many denominations of Christianity, pledges are expected from the parents and witnesses/godparents to raise the children within the faith. If a public declaration of intent to raise the children in the faith is expected, then how can Yvette comply with that without "bearing false witness"? I think it would depend on what is expected from Yvette whether the splash of water is acceptable.

We all skipped classes during our school days one way or another, didn't we?

0

Tell your mom to back OFF! Don't worry. She can stand it. The question is whether you can stand her control.

Yes, but please say it in a nice way

1

I feel like if it was a huge deal to them...go ahead. Because honetly...it's nothing more than a little show. Probably the younger the better, so they don't remember it. The few I've gone to just seem....creepy.

I agree

0

If you don't believe in it and don't want to then no.

Yes

0

you should do what you want, they are your kids not your moms

Yes

Yes, but with all due respects to the mom

0

How old are your kids?

All Christian denominations practice a method of baptism ritual or initiation. Even the Indian Sikhs and some Gnostic groups, too.

Could you please tell us what specific church group you are with? (I pray you won't say, "Baptist" I'll fall off my chair! LOL , just a joke, pardon me.)

I always have this "Honor thy father and mother" in my mind. But that's exclusively for the most intelligent and most broad-minded persons - with all apologies to the sensitivities of the rest of humanity.

My son is an adult. He is 27 and now looking into religion via his lady friend.
I believe Indoctrination into religion at a young age causes more harm than good.
The only belief(former Seventh Day Adventist) I now hold is in the Cosmic Energy Life Force, where all religions are an attempt to explain the Life Force in everything.

DudeistDon: If we will only give the proper amount of time and effort conversing with our kids as they grow up, there'll be a balance of what they learn from outside of our domain and the ones they grew up with and have been inculcated into their young minds us. And that nurturing effort begins before conception - or, so I believe.

1

I say children should be protected from religion

In a way, yes

1

No. Allowing them to choose when they get to an age to decide for themselves is a very valid answer. If she wants to override their rights in this, I'd take that as a red flag.

Zster Level 8 Oct 7, 2017

There's always room for compromise

2

Well, that depends. If you truly do not believe in its significance, what harm would it do?

Agree

1

Nooooooooo! Be true to your beliefs.
I went through this years ago and stuck to my beliefs that people should be mature and then decide where their faith leads them. Maybe they choose religion or don't, that's their choice.

Sandy Level 1 Oct 7, 2017

Yes be true to your beliefs and have the confidence that you can be a good friend to your mother while nurturing your kids' young minds and lead them away from the teachings of religion that doesn't conform to what you believe is right. Otherwise, move out and away from your mother if you can afford it.

1

You have the correct idea. Let your kids grow up, and then they make their own decision.

Agree

2

No you should stand up for your children in my opinion. That is something I am against anyway. Children cannot validly make that choice. If they choose to do so as adults, then it is THEIR choice. The choice tho is not hers or yours. It is theirs.

Yes, stand up for your children till they can do so on their own while keeping your good relations with your mother

1

your children are always watching---just as you were when you wee small. How you act is important---they see when you tell them one thing then do something else. This is the answer to your question....how do you want them to be raised? Are you going to let them find out about the hypocrisy of religion or do you want them to grow up believing God is watching their every move..that he knows what they are thinking, what is in their heart. If you did not know the answer you probably would not be on this site.

Preach to your children and make sure you practice what you preach even when nobody's looking

1

Make a desicion for yourself.

She can't , that's why she's here . . . Let's help her make a decision

0

Depends on how you get along with her

Oh, yes, that's for sure. Was she a "good girl" to momma?

3

No! Do everything you can to support them in rational evidence-based thinking.

BD66 Level 8 Oct 8, 2017

Yes bro that's right

0

First this, then what? By appeasing her, you set a bad precedent.

Pardon, a bad precedent to whom? Could you please elaborate on that? thanks

The bad precedent is that the mother will get her way when it's not her place to impose her fairy tale beliefs of invisible sky daddies on her daughter and grandchildren. A little holy water to start and then it starts creeping in. Stand firm from the beginning or it'll just be more problematic complaints down the line.

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