I got run over by an ice skate blade when I was 12. I was going around on the rink, I fell down, and a girl behind me accidentally skated over my fingers. Blood all over the ice. I had to get a couple of stitches and still have the scars. From then on, I wore thick gloves.

I was riding my off road motorcycle on a trail that crossed a farmer's field. I was 16 yrs old and had my girlfriend sitting behind me. We were only going about 25 MPH. There was a cow steadily crossing the trail in front of me. I thought I would give my girlfriend a thrill so i sped up a little and aimed at the cow for a second then i swerved away from the cow back onto the trail. Unfortunately this maneuver confused the cow and the damned animal backed up straight into our path. I ended up hitting the cow broadside. The weight of my girlfriend's body caused me to do a face plant on the motorcycle's gas tank. My girlfriend went airborne as she deflected off of my body. She flew over the cow and did a stunt roll as she landed in the field. I guess all of her cheerleader training paid off at that moment. The cow bolted away and left me there with a bloody nose in a confused state of embarrassment and hilarity. My girlfriend was thankfully unhurt. She walked back to me and the dirt bike with some snide remark as i wiped up my bloody nose. I restarted the bike and we made it home with no other incidents of stupidity on my part.

A number of years ago I had accumulated quite a bit of yard debris, so I loaded it up in the back of my pickup and took it to a spot a farmer friend of mine had said I could get rid of it.
I had gloves on, and a long sleeve shirt so there was maybe 2 inches of skin exposed between the gloves and shirt, I was in the back of the truck shoveling the leaves and such out, when it looked to me like a huge worm was poised on the shovel , when it ( FYI, I’m terrified of worms ) lunged forward going directly toward my exposed wrist, so I freaked out and backed up and fell out of the truck, there was a tree stump that I hard parked next to, so I landed on it, breaking 4 ribs, there also was a big rock next to the stump, I hit that as well, but with the back of my head, knocked me out cold, and I had to have 36 stitches in the back of my head.
But.. at least that F*#king worm didn’t get me!

I was pissed off and stomping into the house. My right arm swung forwards and I cracked a bone in my wrist on the door knob.

No alcohol involved, I was in 3rd grade, riding my brother's bike which was too big for me. A neighbor boy on a bike hit my rear tire on the L side and pushed me and the bike over. I ended up with chipped bone in my foot. BUT, it took me out of school. 1967 was Nebraska's centennial, we were having special activities at school, mom had made a pioneer skirt for me, it was fabulous. I never got to wear it

12 years old, riding my too small bicycle down a steep hill, and got my foot stuck in the front spokes! That is the day that I learned how bad a cracked knee cap hurts!!

Walking in the house barefoot

I got into an argument with one of my best friends about 20 years ago, we came close to throwing fist, we both turned and walked away, I was so pissed off that I kicked my car door and broke three toes...LOL

OK, here's another one, and don't tell anybody! I was in third grade and it was winter. I took my bath and went into the living room where the wall furnace was to finish drying off. Remember, this was winter in a drafty old farm house. The cat was laying in front of the furnace and I kinda barged in and kitty didn't think alot of it so she started swatting and biting my feet. I backed up. Right into that furnace with a wet backside. Think of bacon sizzling!! I got 3rd degree burns all over my tushy. Talk about embarassing. I wonder if my classmates ever knew? I was mortified

I stepped on my hand while wearing 1" long spikes on my shoes about 40 years ago. I lost about a 1 CC chunk of my finger on the fingerprint side of the middle of middle finger and had to hold my hand above my head for six weeks (no pain killers and it throbbed when I put my hand down). I wash in multiple events in track and did not change shoes between events. Stepped on hand while getting untangled from landing foam. One coach got faint and the other barfed when they saw it. We did not have cell phones back then and team manager bandaged me up for a four mile walk to the emergency room. My grandfather was so upset that they did not call me an ambulance that he sat in the stadium for my entire first practice back. I had to do push ups one handed for rest of year and my right side is still significantly stronger. Also, most of my fingerprint grew back and I thought that was strange.

Another : was given a nice antique stiletto. Thought I'd see how well it worked so I roll a newspaper and held it in my hand. You guessed it - stab, stab, stab right through the paper and into my hand.
Worse, I had a show to play that night and had to suffer through it.

My boyfriend pissed me off and I kicked a vacuum out of my way.
It was a rainbow which has a tank of water.
It moved slightly, my toe went sideways.

When I was young, the first time I rode a 4 wheeler, I had to hit 4th and a patch of sugar sand. Broke my wrist that day.

My other injuries were not stupidity on my part. LOL

Two come to mind

1. When I was an adolescent I found a straight razor in my grandmother's house. I wanted to see if it was sharp so I dragged in along my finger. It didn't cut so I did it again. Luckily I didn't cut myself that bad.

2. Getting into bed and didn't gage the distance from the bed and the headboard. Gave me quite a bruise.

My sister and I were playing volleyball in the rain with her friends, and I slipped and broke my leg.

Cutting onions. Onions are little bastards!

When I was about 8 or so, I decided to show my friends in their basement that I knew fake karate. I extended my leg backwards as to kick someone behind me and my natural weight and recoiled force brought my leg forward and my knee went right into the ground like I meant to knee it.

Nothing more than a bad bruise and bad feeling for a little while, but the embarrassment lasted longer lol

It's a tie between almost being sterilized while on a date going horseback riding in high school (the horse decided to go to a trot and I didn't pinch my knees together) and being 8 years old watching Pac man cartoons in my Pac man PJs that were on backwards and rocking back on a wasp and getting stung (Forrest Gump voice) directly in the buttocks. Ain't life grand?

Had to use the restroom badly so I ran from the parking lot and decided to take a shortcut by jumping over some bushes. Forgot the floor was much lower on the other side... sprained my ankle. Had to hop around the next day with my ankle was bandaged. I had a music final that day too, not my best performance, found out pain killers made me drowsy which affected my performance.

While building a deck on a steep slope in my back yard. I was tired. That's my excuse.
I was putting the deck boards down over about a 6 foot drop to the ground. I fastened a board to the frame, then cut the extended section off even with the edge of the deck. Unfortunately, I was standing on the extended side of the wood. I suppose it looked very much like a Wiley Coyote moment. Sprained an ankle upon landing.

Driving drunk but debunked the hollywood theory that a gas tanker full of fuel will esplode at impact with another vehicle. The scar along my left arm is "exhibit A" of German Ingeniuty. But it was not a "dumbest way" because I remember saying in the club, "let me get out of here before I am drunk".

Hopped off the back of a pickup. That was 31 days in the hospital, a bankruptcy, and a lifetime of pain.

Captain Morgan pushed me down some stairs, sprained my wrist.

Burned my nose on a hot iron...
No, wait, peed on an electric fence !

Dislocated a finger joint trying to remove really tight stockings.

I cracked my tailbone playing Frisbee golf when I was in college.