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How to deal with religious family and friends?

Being an agnostic is especially challenging when you're surrounded with religion family and friends. Often they will try to convert you to their religion, become hostile towards you or even disown you. What are your thoughts on how to retain a good relationship with religion people?

Admin 8 Aug 30
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104 comments (76 - 100)

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if they don't like me I don't need them

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Tell them you've made your choice and it shouldn't impede on their religious views or activities. You're just choosing to opt out of activities that don't suit your religious preferences. Ask them to please respect your wishes.

SamL Level 7 Oct 20, 2017
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If they give you 'that talk', ask for equal time and that they answer YOUR questions, of which you have many.

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I lightly tease the ones that can take it. I avoid the topic with those that cannot.

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I do not get involved with religious discussions, as a rule there are more than 2 involved and I simply avoid responding

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I discuss politics, not religion. It's so easy to change every religious conversation to politics, due to religious involvement in government.

And I have a simple blessing for dinner... "Lord, thank you for this food... may it go down good."

0

It's the most hard time and part of the life especially when you belong to Muslim religious family

Saki Level 1 Oct 9, 2017
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I don't. My family doesn't like to be controversial. So I don't talk about the things that would shake the boat. Especially since we live in a very religious and conservative area of Maryland. I'm an outspoken animal rights activist, vegetarian and atheist so I'm pretty alone hear when it come to voicing my opinions and thoughts.

0

What can you do they're your friends; they're your family, but don't give up they may yet prove trainable.

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Be more successful, more affluent, more at peace with your life choices. Then what can they really argue you on?

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We basically avoid the topic in order to get along. Mom is not religious anymore, but has a god belief. When she takes shots at me, "oh yeah, YOU no longer believe in...", I stop talking. She's gotten better at avoiding that. I am not closeted, but tend to keep my beliefs private.

Zster Level 8 Oct 7, 2017
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Avoid topics of disagreement in all conversations. It never ends well with people who are unwilling to examine their beliefs objectively.

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My father was super religious. I accompanied him to church when necessary, but had to bite my tongue.
My "aunt" (a family friend) that I took care of as she aged was always pushing me. She had been a missionary to Taiwan for 35 years. Every time I visited she tried to get me to go back. When I took a plane flight to help her visit family, I was sitting beside her. She started in on her quest immediately. I told her that there is no way that I was going to worship anyone that would send most of the humans to hell, and that I did not want to talk about it any more. I put on my headphones and she finally got the message.

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i don't give attention

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When I was in my 20s and early 30s I would try not to have discussions about religion with my family. Growing up in the south and in a southern Baptist household, religion permeates through and frames most all conversation. So it was tough to bite my tongue. As I get older though, I'm confident about sharing my thoughts and pointing out truth and facts when confronted with religious conversation. I wish I had started this practice earlier now. I'm getting certain family members to criticallly think about their beliefs and be open to questioning their faith. Atheist outreach is necessary, especially in the south, to help advance our society and science. We must speak the truth.

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As long as they do not insist upon themselves, just let them be...but more often than not, religious ppl have a superiority complex....family or not, shut them down if they go too far.

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I have one friend who is born again. At first he didn't try to push his religion on me but it has been awhile since we've seen each other. I respect their decision to put their faith in something bigger than themselves, his reason was his mother's passing. But I have met others who have tried to impose there beliefs on me and I'm well versed in various religions that I can make a strong argument against them. It has gotten to the point that I will either argue against them but most of the time I will either try to change the subject, inform them that I believe in myself, or just leave. Why waste time with people who want to believe in a higher, omnipotent power that can decide if they are good or evil.

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I have clearly stated boundaries. When the conversation heads towards "spirituality" I focus on logical continuity. I don't even need to have an opposing view when I let their claims of whatever cannibalize themselves. I also don't hide my vitriol towards religion. So far, no one in my family seems to be upset that the bible says horrible things or that religion has been used throughout history to justify atrocities, they're only upset that I'm pointing it out. Which I then make sure to bring up and that ends the conversation.

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My familly is muslim , so the best thing to do is not talking about religion

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I just act, improve my acting skills.

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I don't inquire about their religion, if they ask about my religion I simply tell them I do not engage myself in any form of religion. Following up with "I consider myself to be a Spiritual being". What I will not do is judge nor allow anyone to try and past judgement on me. You don't try to convert me I won't try to convert you.

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I have friends who are totally immersed in their religion, yet we get along fine, once they realize I will not bother to argue with them. Its ok for them to be followers, but if they try to force their beliefs on me, it ends the friendship. I have dozens of Muslim friends and they are undisturbed by my lack of religion. A few tried to convince me that the Koran has all the answers. Those people are not my friends now. I will not tolerate anyone pushing me to believe as they do.

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I was slightly bothered recently to find out my mother purposely excludes me from some facebook posts, as I never respond rudely or anything to her beliefs. It's probably best though, I try to just not bring it up, but there are times I just cannot sit idly by either. It's a tough road to walk sometimes.

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I have clearly stated my positions on belief and religion. Family and friends know that I can give as well as I take. Some relationships deserve to die on principle. I'm comfortable with that.

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Tell them the truth. When religion comes up most of them are like, "I know you don't believe, but I do type of thing and then we discuss topic.' I have an awesome family who believe you should not push religion on others because it's rude.

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