You are incredibly strong. I would not have survived all of that. I can relate to your caution about keeping your home very secure. Being a survivor of stalking, I can relate to that. I bought a condo on seventh floor. My building has cameras over every door and a 24/7 desk attendant at the main door. You could not pay me to live in a house. I agree with the person who said get rid of the cuckoo clock. You are made of tough stuff.

That’s a horrible situation. One easy thing you could do is get rid of that damn cukoo clock.

Take back your life. It won’t be easy. There are good people out there that can help. Don’t give up

As I read your post I thought we are the ones that end up in prison for life. There are no words that can ease your pain or erase the horror from your mind but I do hope you will continue to speak up and maybe begin to feel safe to interact more. I hope you heal and find the love and kindness you deserve.

Today is the first day of the rest of your life. Make it the one you want.

My upbringing was horrific, my father was a monster. But that was him, not me. Nor is your past you.

Wow. I am sorry you are so fearful. Perhaps a dog would make you feel safer. Even a small dog makes for a great alarm. Ever vigilant they are. Hypervigilance is a survival skill. Might I suggest counseling & medication to alleviate some of your fears. After all it is just brain chemistry. It helped me. I too did not play nicely having been imprinted by boys my 1st 7 years. I hope you find some peace. Best wished to you.