30 25

Really wishing I had someone to just hold me. Maybe stroke my hair and tell me everything is going to be ok. Hug me tight and tell me I’m a worthwhile person who deserves happiness. I miss physical touch so badly.

By Marcie19748
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15

When skin hunger hits me and I’m on my own, I get a massage or a mani-pedi. It’s not the same as a special someone, but it helps. I also hug my friends — I have asked for hugs, specifically. You have inherent worth and you do deserve happiness, regardless of whether anyone in your proximity is telling you that. ?

UUNJ Level 8 Feb 19, 2019

Same! I am a big hugger! And that's a great idea on the mani/pedi. At the very least, the massages are over 20 seconds and give an oxytocin dose.

Great response! Self-care is essential. Doesn't replace hugs and touch from a loved one, but why shouldn't we do the best we can to take care of ourselves regardless.

12

Ah yes. I call it “chronic skin malnutrition”. It’s a thing. ?

Science-guy Level 8 Feb 19, 2019

YES!! Great terminology

I ❤️ that!

12

Warm fuzzy hugs You are not alone, in life or in feeling that way. Those are healthy feelings, and you are a truly sweet and warm woman. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until you find the right person to squish you!

FlippantLlama Level 8 Feb 19, 2019
11

Awww I think we all feel like this sometimes. Do something nice for yourself. Go for a nice walk, take a long scented bath and light a few candles ,eat something that's not on your diet or whatever you think indulges your senses. Be good to yourself.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Feb 19, 2019
10

I admire your courage to be vulnerable with us, Marcie. Physical touch and emotional intimacy with someone who genuinely cares about us are remarkable things. It's understandable why you yearn for them.

VictoriaNotes Level 9 Feb 19, 2019

I wear my heart on my sleeve and am probably too open with how I feel

@Marcie1974 Perhaps, but it allows for others to feel comfortable being vulnerable, too, and as Brene Brown elegantly put it, true belonging only happens when we present our authentic, imperfect selves to the world; our sense of belonging can never be greater than our level of self-acceptance. We cultivate love when we allow our most vulnerable and powerful selves to be deeply seen and known. Truth and courage aren't always comfortable, but they're never weakness.

@VictoriaNotes Thanks for the prose. It says exactly what I feel. I believe in truth and use courage daily. I dream of human contact, I want it so badly from a man I feel love for. He writes he is untouchable.

10

Guess we all need a great big group hug ?

Haemish1 Level 8 Feb 19, 2019
9

As part of the stuff I learned in collidge, I read a study about the social behavior of monkeys. They depend very much on their family and friends. When a monkey was taken away from his group and put into a cage by himself, within three days he began to go psychotic. They depend on their group to stay happy and healthy. Okay, so we are not much more than highly-evolved monkeys. (Although, sometimes I question the word "highly" in that description.) Bottom line is that lack of close association and intimacy tends to make us go nuts. And I can feel it. I'm getting pretty nuts myself.

mischl Level 7 Feb 19, 2019

Me too.

I grew up in a cuddly family, plus I’m just a touchy-feely person by nature. My kids are 20 and 18 and won’t sit on my lap anymore or hold my hand (lol). My skin almost crawls if I go too long without touch.

6

We all need this, know it and reaching out is a hard thing to do. Is there friends in your life that you can reach out to, that would give you that hug, or cuddle with you? When I was first divorced and feeling this, I took a dance class, not the same as true intimacy but the touch you get from partner dancing helped a lot. Big hug.

Not really, there are a lot of things going on in my life at the moment. I’m planning on moving as soon as I get a job there. I have a lot of friends in that area and will have a lot more support then

6

Phone calls sometimes help.. not a cuddle but its better than texting.

hippydog Level 8 Feb 19, 2019
5

I believe it is important for most of us.

Sticks48 Level 9 Feb 19, 2019
5

Hugs

Nukdookum Level 8 Feb 19, 2019
5

Hugs. Do you have any pets? I suggest a Pomeranian. They never let you down.

UrsiMajor Level 8 Feb 19, 2019

Oh my cockapoo Barney is always glued to my side. But it’s not quite the same as human contact

5

Well, you certainly have friends here. Hug

Our_existence Level 9 Feb 19, 2019
4

I do too.

Gohan Level 7 Feb 19, 2019
3

Me too!! If it weren't for my kids and grands I'd be a goner.

HippieChick58 Level 9 Feb 19, 2019

I really started noticing it when my kids hit about 7th or 8th grade. By then my ex and I weren’t touching either

3

I didn't realize how much I missed it until I was with someone again. It had been too many years.

And you are definitely a worthwhile person deserving all the happiness you can get! Hugs from far away!

3

Yearning longing to be held is most human of you, you are not alone. Knowing we are all worthwhile and deserving happiness I empathize. Possibilities are boundless, we are free to be

Tooreen Level 7 Feb 19, 2019
2

First lets start by saying YOU are a worthwhile person. I would say to you that you do not need someone to reaffirm that to you but I totally understand what you are saying. I spent 8 in my first relationship without any intimacy and six in my last. I think if you don't crave close contact then you must have a pretty cold heart. Hang in there I am sure you will find it sooner later and hopefully I to will find it because being lonely SUCKS

DavidGreen1 Level 6 Feb 27, 2019

Thank you for your kind reply. I tend to wear my heart on my sleeve and when I'm feeling down or emotional just have to get it out. That means sometimes some emotional posts on here for all of you fine folks to read, lol! I'm feeling better...ups and downs, just like everything else in life.

I'm really unhappy at my current job and have made the decision to move 2 hours north of here to be closer to my parents since their health is starting to decline. Job hunting, interviewing, worrying about moving, worrying about my youngest who is a senior in high school and not doing great, etc. Kind of a perfect storm for me to self doubt. Anyways, thanks again for your kind words....you definitely brightened my morning!

@Marcie1974 I think next to finding love family is the best thing for the mind body and soul so good on you I think I myself have just come to the realization it is about time for me to go home as well Europe is nice but I miss my family in America and my mom

2

I feel your pain

Justbekind Level 4 Feb 20, 2019

@kate40407 where are you from

2

I understand that feeling very well.

MissKathleen Level 9 Feb 19, 2019
2

Yes only way to be how I feel

bobwjr Level 9 Feb 19, 2019
2

wha is root of your problem?

TheDoubter Level 8 Feb 19, 2019

Basic human need for touch. It’s called tactile deprivation.

So, so true.

@MissKathleen my question was really why wasn't she getting touched. badly phrases foe a journalist

@TheDoubter I imagine it is because she does not have anyone she feels close enough with to be touching.

@MissKathleen yes. but I wanted the details

@TheDoubter lol, I imagine there are no details.

@MissKathleen no details, no story

1

I know what you're saying because I wish the same thing somebody to just hold me at night when I cry and tell me it's going to be okay

1

If you want to be happy, there are so many things inside you and in the world you can draw happiness from. Other than having a physical relationship with another person or persons, thinking that you need someone is not very productive. Often people stay waiting for others forever. The less dependencies on others, the better off you will be.

St-Sinner Level 8 Feb 23, 2019

I think you misunderstood. I have a full life and am happy. But occasionally I crave physical contact. I’m a touchy-feely person by nature.

I don’t feel like my post all the time. Was having some loneliness and wrote about it.

1

Wish I could hold you, stroke your hair, and tell you everything is going to be OK. You are a worthwhile person who deserves happiness. I also miss physical touch, for 19 years. I am dissatisfied for 19 years, but essentially happy now as my health is OK and improving because I"m losing weight. I was unhappy for over five years because of horrible neuropathic pain, which no pain killer helped. Now, I'm pain free.

The happiness part is up to you, except on the rare occasion of a tragedy, from which you should recover, considering your youthful age. When you expect happiness from someone, it is fleeting; that someone will someday disappoint you.

Science says that you can force a smile, and you will become happier. When you are an empty nester, you are free to do things you couldn't do with children to take care of. Enjoy yourself, and good things are more likely to happen. Do something exciting, sky diving, bungee jumping, rock climbing, anything that entails a bit of danger and excitement, but if you are really into bird watching, stamp collecting, or sewing, go for it.

EdEarl Level 8 Feb 23, 2019

Ed, such beautiful advice. Thoughtful and on point. Advice we all need and find useful. Thank you. You have helped many today.

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