Agnostic.com
27 9

How do you feel about pet names early on? I agreed to go out with this guy and now when he texts me it’s always hon or darling or something like that. We haven’t even been out yet. It seems weird to me.

LisaL81 7 May 10
Share
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

27 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

9

Call him honey dick!

zesty Level 7 May 10, 2019

@Thx4luh No. Be nice! Maybe he has a fun dick. Enjoy.

5

That bothers me as well. I don't feel respected when I get called a pet name right off. I always think it's because they call all women the same name, so they don't have to remember.

Wildflower Level 8 May 10, 2019

I've never had a girlfriend so I have no reason to call someone a pet name, aside from dear or hun, but only if you are cool with it...

@VineetHonkan The best thing to do is call her by her name... until you get to know her and you have a heart felt name for her.

Oh I do...I have no pet names for people. Just my guy friends, whom I call Dumb ass...

@VineetHonkan That;s a good one!

4

I like pet names, but I try not to force them. It's always better if it comes about naturally, over the course of time spent conversing and getting to know each other.

There are only couple people in my life I have a pet name relationship with and they all came about in this manner.

4

If he’s from Texas, it’s kinda baked into the cake for a lot of men. I don’t think much of it.
Hon or darling is a very generic pleasantry in the south with no disrespect meant. You will probably have to accept it or move on.

Green_eyes Level 8 May 10, 2019

Exactly darlin'. 🙂

@Sticks48 I’m guilty of doing this on occasion at work, especially with the elderly.

@Green_eyes No reason to use the word guilty. You know and I know ( I spent a month in the hospital in 94 ), in that setting people are scared , uncomfortable, and sometimes lonely. Any kind words or words showing even the slightest bit of caring are so appreciated. Don't you dare stop.

3

That sounds like he is trying to establish intimacy early on, trying to speed up the time line. In my experience when they do that, we don't ever meet in person and he asks for money. Yes, I am a scammer magnet.

2

As a grown woman i have no tolerance for baby names. My mother gave me a name and that is what I use. If a man ever starts with that i always let him know what my name is. Unless you are very close to me you call me by my given name.

2

It depends on what part of the country you are from. In the South it is used by people all of the time and it means absolutely nothing. If he is from a Southern state it means nothing but being friendly. If he is from NY I would be leery.

Sticks48 Level 9 May 10, 2019
2

You live in Texas and you think that is weird? I get called hon and darlin' down here by women I don't know all of the time and have all my life. It doesn't mean much of anything down here. Where is he from?

Sticks48 Level 9 May 10, 2019

Not sure where he is from but I grew up in Iowa

@LisaL81 It is just a way of being friendly in the South. I know the Midwest is different as are all the regions of the US.

2

If he's communicating with more than one woman , he's less likely to call you the wrong name , by using a generic nick name that he can use for all woman .

Cast1es Level 9 May 10, 2019
2

I only use pet names for pets...

Well, here's a slight qualifier...I'll call friends and acquaintances(either gender) buddy, bud, pal, babe...I had a gf named yingchao, I used to call her chaochao as that was her baby name...

1

For some it is a culture thing, like men from the south will call most women this, whether they are their partner, friend or daughter. For others it is an ownership thing, make it clear to this person you are not comfortable with it.

1

A big turn-off for me unless we're more serious and have established a real connection, only then is it adorable. The exception is a close friend who I may have nick-names with.

bleurowz Level 8 May 11, 2019
1

Much too soon. I’d take it that it’s a warning sign of a faux romantic or one very need dude

1000runner Level 7 May 10, 2019
1

I’m southern too and it’s very common to use endearments even with total strangers. Maybe give one date and see how it feels. I don’t like it as an opener though in writing. A few weeks in, it’s fine.

1

Common greeting associated with being polite

bobwjr Level 10 May 10, 2019
1

I’m from the east coast of Canada.. dear and hon are prolific in my background. I try to stifle the words.. doesn’t always work. 🙂

Davekp Level 8 May 10, 2019
1

I feel weird about that also. I finally put that I don't want that right away in my profile. I did that after a man called me an upright hag after I asked him to not call me baby.

Cabsmom Level 8 May 10, 2019
1
  • I agree Pet names should not be given until the two people really know each other,,lot of times they are about a quirk or inside joke ,but regardless they are viewed as a Term of endearment between the two,,Words like Love,honey ,etc are more of a common greeting words and really do not have any emotion attached to them,,The English use the word Love as a greeting a lot,,Plus one other thing , they are great to use if you have forgot the persons name ,,just sayin lol
RoyMillar Level 9 May 10, 2019
1

Rarely, if ever a good thing. Usually associated with a low-level of maturity. Be careful.

Mitch07102 Level 8 May 10, 2019

You from a city where they boo Santa and cheer someone breaking their neck and you think it is a low level of maturity. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

1

i don't like endearing terms early on

TheDoubter Level 9 May 10, 2019
0

I have a friend who calls her sons' friends as well as strangers "honey". I have worked with people who use other terms of endearment, like "my dear" loosely. Just as with profanity, in my opinion, overuse of endearments renders them impotent. I say: save them for when they really matter. If you say "my dear" to me and turn around and say "my dear" to the mail carrier, it loses impact. I suggest that, once you have a relationship (be it friendship, romantic, or professional at a personal level), then use pet names that are not generic and are more tuned in to how you perceive that person. (My friend has more specific nicknames for me that I enjoy. I'll spare you the examples).

npradrian Level 3 May 24, 2019
0

Perhaps a bit early in your relationship for pet names. For some, it is just a natural way of conversation.

0

That seems a tad forced. For me, if the first date goes well I sparingly use "Lady" as a term of endearment until a pet name forms organically. I have never used hon, honey or babe early on. Only three relationships lasted long enough for me to use those ones, and of the three only one where I used them in public.

Phayon Level 5 May 11, 2019
0

I think it's too early on for that. I think a few more dates with proof that he wants a relationship with you is necessary. Some people like the pet name thing but some dont. So its seems you obviously don't like it for now, just say hey could you back off of the pet names for now please. If this guy cares he will listen

0

This action seems a bit presumptuous and lacks respect.

JackPedigo Level 9 May 10, 2019
Write Comment

Recent Visitors 110

Photos 163 More

Posted by AtheistPeace666Hello I'm a single Canuck looking for my special lady Canuck.

Posted by KhaCRYou ever feel like you found the perfect sexual partner then he turns out to be a complete 💩bag and you can’t find the satisfaction in other encounters?

Posted by EntheogenFanI have a story to tell.

Posted by EntheogenFanI have a story to tell.

Posted by KateOahuYes, I agree that the reverse is also true.

Posted by JolantaThis is what women have to put up with and then they want to be intimate while we are still angry because they will not do their share of housework.

Posted by JolantaDucky, Snookums....

Posted by SorchaThis is a guy I was talking to from okcupid. He is totally new to online dating and it shows.

Posted by JolantaThat’s Amore. Some women are just far too shallow.

Posted by JolantaSomething for real intimacy perhaps.

Posted by Green_Soldier71Has anyone here had any experience with (or known someone who has/had) a SEXLESS MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP or a FRIGID PARTNER?

Posted by EyesThatSmileNakedness.

Posted by LetzGetRealMy family has often commented how I should become a "cougar"... as I look pretty good at my age and have a younger mindset than some of my peers, I guess this is there rationale?

Posted by Ann-1980The 4 types of Intimacy to feel sufficient, satisfied & healing in a love relationship.

Posted by Philip21over the top thinking? [agnostic.com]

Posted by DavidRussettI have been a widower for 2 years. I am very lonely. I am really looking for a relationship wth someone compatible with me.

  • Top tags#relationship #sex #intimacy #video #friends #religious #hope #religion #world #god #children #wife #marriage #book #kids #advice #death #reason #agnostic #beliefs #Atheist #hell #money #society #movies #fear #hello #Present #parents #belief #loves #Song #community #lonely #books #divorce #culture #humans #dogs #sleep #chemistry #Christian #college #soul #animals #sexy #philosophy #holiday #DonaldTrump #sexuality ...

    Members 1,849Top

    Moderator