Agnostic.com
16 4

Informal poll about ghosting:

  • 4 votes
  • 23 votes
  • 5 votes
ejbman 7 June 30
Share
You must be a member of this group before commenting. Join Group

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

16 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

1

I think it's a side effect of meeting people online. So many people are bad at communicating and ghosting is, unfortunately, much easier than actually telling someone the truth. It's definitely harmful though and I wish people would think about that more.

1

I don't think it is a sign of narcissism. Narcissists feed off of attention and drama and such. You are more likely to be love-bombed or tied into a pointless drama or stuck feeding a narcs ego than you are to be ghosted by them. At least in my crappy experiences. :/

1

Lots of interesting points of views here ,i ahve not reallyy had any personaly experince with this but know a few friends who were ghosted with negative messaging to them until they were blocked and then they just made up another puppet account

RoyMillar Level 9 July 1, 2019
4

Points out the general lack of honesty in our culture.

mischl Level 8 July 1, 2019
1

Could be all of the above. It really sucks.

JGal Level 7 July 1, 2019
2

I think ghosting is sometimes narcissistic for sure, but I've done it out of cowardice, because I can avoid the confrontation. Not proud of that, but there it is.

7

It could be many things...
Locked up
Ran out of data
Someone said something the other person didn't like
Someone lied about age, appearance, etc.
Fear of meeting in person
Lack of confidence
Etc, etc...
If I'm ghosted, by a potential friend or partner, I just move on... They pretty much made it clear they no longer want to talk anymore and they really aren't obligated to explain... The internet is very impersonal this way...

Yeah, a lot of this. I don’t chase. So if you drop off the earth, don’t bother crawling back months later. That happens about 50% of the time in my experience.

1

Too many reasons to narrow it down. I figure it could be that they aren't interested. It could be that they found someone else. It could be that they feel insecure and chickened out. ETC

Cabsmom Level 8 July 1, 2019

@Doraz now is that your narcissism or simple desperation?

6

Ghosting , could mean the other person simply spoke with you , but decided there was insufficient interest for further conversation . With the rate of scammers being removed from the lists , it may mean someone contacted you , but was then removed due to suspected scammer status , so they were unable to contact you again . Or it could mean one of the others they were chatting with has caught their attention , so they put you on hold , until they decided whether the other was going to go anywhere . As strange as it may seem , sometimes an emergency comes up - they may have made an unexpected emergency trip to the hospital - it wasn't so long ago I unexpectedly found myself in hospital first due to a bad heart , when they installed a pace maker , and later due to a kidney stone . Things do sometimes happen .

Cast1es Level 9 July 1, 2019
6

Hearts don't break evenly. Someone usually feels worse than the other when it's over. Maybe they don't feel obligated? Maybe they are too weak in character to give closure? Maybe they are a little scared of the reaction? Maybe they decided to be passive aggressive this time? This is not a new cultural development IMO. This used to be called a fade away.

kensmile4u Level 8 July 1, 2019
5

It depends. If it’s only texting, meh, these things happen.
A real, in person relationship...well. Some folks are too immature and/or selfish to break up in any kind of mature manner. Unless they are escaping a crazy person, in which case, ghost away. Otherwise, it’s not that hard to say: this is not working, I’m calling a halt.
It hurts, but at least one knows it’s over and has the chance to hear it, rather than eternally wonder, WTF.

3

doesn't bother me if someone stops communicating

TheDoubter Level 9 June 30, 2019
3

Devious intention. Hiding something.

2

Usually self centered coward

bobwjr Level 10 June 30, 2019
5

I’ve been ghosted in the middle of what I thought was a growing relationship. It turns out she was also communicating with another man that she apparently liked better. I think she could have been honest and said so, but apparently she wasn’t comfortable with that 🤷♂️

Haemish1 Level 8 June 30, 2019

Absolute transparency is critical.

@brainyactress
But that would defeat the entire purpose of online dating 😉

6

Sometimes these msg/txt things just run out of gas. Sometimes you are both waiting for the other to get in touch, too much time goes by and then it is awkward, so it ends. I feel l have been ghosted more than once and l am ok with it. If someone really doesn't want to type with me that is understandable. It is a tedious, clumsy, impersonal way to communicate, and l don't care for it anyway. I have been ghosted by people l have talked to on the phone also, and that is ok too. If someone doesn't wish to speak with me, l don't need an explanation.

Sticks48 Level 9 June 30, 2019

I'm talking about a relationship that's been in real life and physical and the person just stops responding.

@ejbman Same thing, but when it has happened there were signs. There are always signs. We sometimes like to ignore the signs something might not be quite right. If it's over for them, it's over for both of you. I don't need to spend too much time talking about it. That's just me. Letters work better anyway. A friend taught me that. Say what you have to say, no interruptions, no getting side tracked. They will always read it.

@Sticks48 I guess I just disagree, or it's not my experience. I think there's a real problem when a person just stops communicating and doesn't indicate what's going on. If they would only say, "I can't do this right now I'm overwhelmed," or even "Fuck you I can't stand how you snore" it's something. Nothing at all is disrespectful and hurtful: [psychologytoday.com]

@ejbman For me, if it's over, it's over, whether it's me or them. When l was young l had too many of those conversations, that change nothing, and generally make you feel worse. To each his own. ☺

@Sticks48 Well, that's just it: is it over? If they ghost you really don't know. Maybe they're lying in a ditch somewhere, bleeding out. Or their phone broke. Or they just got cold feet for a minute but aren't really done. How long without contact means it's actually over? So maddening. I can accept when something is over, but I'd like to be in the loop when it is.

@ejbman You got me. Lots of possibilities. Did you scare her off?

@Sticks48 No way to tell. I'd love to know.

@ejbman Good luck. 👍

Write Comment

Recent Visitors 94

Photos 163 More

Posted by AtheistPeace666Hello I'm a single Canuck looking for my special lady Canuck.

Posted by KhaCRYou ever feel like you found the perfect sexual partner then he turns out to be a complete 💩bag and you can’t find the satisfaction in other encounters?

Posted by EntheogenFanI have a story to tell.

Posted by EntheogenFanI have a story to tell.

Posted by KateOahuYes, I agree that the reverse is also true.

Posted by JolantaThis is what women have to put up with and then they want to be intimate while we are still angry because they will not do their share of housework.

Posted by JolantaDucky, Snookums....

Posted by SorchaThis is a guy I was talking to from okcupid. He is totally new to online dating and it shows.

Posted by JolantaThat’s Amore. Some women are just far too shallow.

Posted by JolantaSomething for real intimacy perhaps.

Posted by Green_Soldier71Has anyone here had any experience with (or known someone who has/had) a SEXLESS MARRIAGE/RELATIONSHIP or a FRIGID PARTNER?

Posted by EyesThatSmileNakedness.

Posted by LetzGetRealMy family has often commented how I should become a "cougar"... as I look pretty good at my age and have a younger mindset than some of my peers, I guess this is there rationale?

Posted by Ann-1980The 4 types of Intimacy to feel sufficient, satisfied & healing in a love relationship.

Posted by Philip21over the top thinking? [agnostic.com]

Posted by DavidRussettI have been a widower for 2 years. I am very lonely. I am really looking for a relationship wth someone compatible with me.

  • Top tags#relationship #sex #intimacy #video #friends #religious #hope #religion #world #god #children #wife #marriage #book #kids #advice #death #reason #agnostic #beliefs #Atheist #hell #money #society #movies #fear #hello #Present #parents #belief #loves #Song #community #lonely #books #divorce #culture #humans #dogs #sleep #chemistry #Christian #college #soul #animals #sexy #philosophy #holiday #DonaldTrump #sexuality ...

    Members 1,849Top

    Moderator