Let us know how you make out

Pull back how are your feelings and hers

I think, in your situation, I'd have to walk away or pull back significantly. It's clear that she and I would have different goals and incompatible perspectives moving forward, and that's unfair to both of us.

Could someone who is familiar with a poly relationships please explain what it means? I have obviously looked it up but want to hear it from someone’s experience.

Is religion, and the views of the men and women either "trapped" or "indoctrinated" in the male-dominance inherent in them - declining, stablilizing - or increasing?

Sad to say; religion is still growing....although more slowly than being agnostic/atheist ( they're both growing because the world population is still growing..(158 more births, than deaths, per minute, 227,000 more per day....google any population clock).

I'm not as sophisticated as you all. People may have intent, and agree to things in the abstract, but when life happens they may change their minds. I need to add that societal expectations are much more tolerant about women changing their minds than they are about men.

So how many women do you need? The way you describe this poly relationship with the putting on the shelf really sounds more like informed philandering. What was the first woman supposed to do while you were schtupping the second one? Just sit around fingering herself?

But as I said, I'm not sophisticated. If I was in a trusting, intimate relationship I wouldn't mess with it. And if I did mess with it, and lost it, well then c'est la guerre.

I've never considered sex a commodity, just part of the package of being in an intimate relationship. That being said, intimacy for me is so much more than sexual intercourse. It has to be, otherwise it just feels empty for me. But if I have an intimate relationship with someone without sex, to me that's a friendship. I also need to evaluate each connection differently, based on what we both bring to the table and what we want from each other. For example, I did have a relationship with someone that I at first I thought, though we had made a connection, was still based on sex, so when sex went off the table I was disappointed, but then I had to decide if this was someone I still wanted in my life based on other ways we interacted -- it took some time to figure that out and to allow myself to go through a period of mourning for the loss of the sexual connection, but right now I can say I'm happy being friends. Sometimes it works out that way; sometimes it doesn't.

I guess if one ties intimacy solely to sex then that can seem like a loss of intimacy. But there are other forms of intimacy; both physical (ie holding hands, snuggling, hugging, kissing, etc.) and emotional (sharing one's inner self with another human that you have not shared with anyone or very many people).

One could say that we're all whores--in one way or another. To wit, I've been a consultant for 40 years, selling the services of my brain for an hourly fee. Actually, I kinda like being a well-paid whore, mostly because I enjoy rendering the services. And I meet some very interesting people.

I am in a poly relationship. I was very intimate with my secondary for about a year when she wanted more than I could give her. We stopped seeing each other for about a year and a half then she wanted to get back together without any sex. I love her dearly and missed her a great deal. Now we see each other several times a month and we are the best of friends. We get together for activities and we do have intimacy like cuddling but no sex. I value our friendship more than anything so sex is not the primary reason that I still see her and our friendship is stronger than ever.

Sex owned by women to be sold for marriage?! You just basically called all women who want to be married a whore...