Agnostic.com
27 7

Cant compare to a real physical exchange of affection ,however, sometimes that's not always possible. How many of you would be willing to engage in sexting or phone sex if you were in a distant relationship/ or any other reason.

#sex
Kojaksmom 8 Apr 23
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9

Well sex is mostly about the brain so at a certain level of a relationship some erotic feelings can be conjured up.

lbusche Level 7 Apr 24, 2018

This is true, even in a long distant text/ phone relationship..

It is said it is as much between the ears as between the legs.

8

Agreed, you have to know the someone very well and already intimately. If you can’t see each other every day but adore each other enough, it adds on another level of intimacy and can be quite exciting and erotic.

You have never considered the freedom or eroticism of anonymity?

@FrayedBear not sure, explain?

@SunshineBee Many people if they know that they are fully anonymous are not shackled by their persona. Thus at a masked ball or party people may behave and indeed feel totally unrestrained behind the anonymity of their mask...shy people can become very bold, the plain radiantly beautiful, the extrovert empathic, etc. In a bar people will divulge incredibly personal detail to a stranger be it fellow drinker or barkeep if they know that they will remain anonymous. 2TuffTony explains it above, I can only imagine and I suspect that it is like very good interactive aural pornography rather than visual.

@FrayedBear I have not done this, no. My experience was more for finding a way to feel closer to the one I deeply loved and do so when distance was between us. For me it’s about connection vs just a feeling. It did enhance our bond as we found ways to be together on an intimate level during our times apart. If someone is in a relationship with trust and love and are looking for yet another way to bond deeply, I highly recommend it!

@SunshineBee It can be like you are speaking of. Back in the day, my wife would take pictures of herself in lingerie or nude with a Polaroid for me to take with me on business trips. Just another avenue to keep a little spice in the love life.

7

I have shared the two methods with several women and mutual gratification was met more often than not. There use to be a call service where you could call strangers for anonymous phone sex. My second wife and I made conference speaker calls like having a threesome. She got extremely aroused while a stranger and I talked "dirty" to her while masterbating with her vibrator and while I touched her. It was very erotic and took away the complications that might come with actually having a threesome. Facetime and Skype for sex calls can be equally stimulating. Just requires alittle more preparation and trust with boundaries to do this.

2TuffTony Level 5 Apr 24, 2018

What terminology do you use to search for such services as you mention? The concept intrigues me.

@FrayedBear Wow, it's been awhile? I think it was called "Sex Talk". If I remember correctly it was like a 1-900 number thing. Kinda like a hookup service. Women could join free but men had to pay.

7

I believe it depends on the couple and where they are in their relationship. It also depends on how emotionally matched they are and the degree of trust they have developed. It also depends on the degree of role playing and imagination they have let into their relationship. And it also depends on where the relationship is headed, if it is headed at all. It may also depend on how adventurous they are and how emotionally involved they want and intend to be with the other. What is right for a couple may be wrong for another couple. So each couple must analyze their situation honestly and sensitively - then go for it or not!

mkeaman Level 7 Apr 24, 2018
5

I have done phone sex a few times, usually with someone I've already been intimate with. Although I have a distant friend I've never met in person. We occasionally connect. I was his first orgasm after he had a heart attack.

5

Is that a request?

Lol, no your off the hook!

5

I have and my take away from it was that it created a sense of intimacy and closeness that DID not translate well when we met in person. In a commited relationship where you already know the person, I think it's fine but I'll never start that up with someone I haven't physically met again.

Spoilsport!!!

@phxbillcee lol. All joking aside that went badly and I won't go there again.

Im sorry you had such a bad experience. I totally could understand if you didn't want to talk about it. do you feel that your sexual conversation with him led him to be disrespectful to you once you met in person? You don't have to answer if it would make you feel uncomfortable.

@Kojaksmom it seems our conversations led him to believe I was "liberal with my favors" shall we say, which turned into a conviction that I was being unfaithful. He also decided that since I enjoy sex it meant I was incapable of real emotional connections. Just... Weird ideas men have about sex I guess.

@Blindbird what an asshole. Sounds like the Madonna whore complex to me.

@Blindbird Don't you think, though, that it may really depend on both partners, their personalities, sincerity, respectfulness, needs, wants, intents, likes, relationship or hoped for relationship? So many traits and values. Basically, I suppose what it is all about is to find a willing someone (I would like someone of the opposite sex) to as honestly as is possible to cause and "mirror" the other's aural responses, etc. As for me, conversation while indulging, even laughter, is attractive behavior. Getting the other, I suppose, to intricately describe his/her responses to breathing, imagination, feelings, exclamations, sighing, even holding of breath, even "mmmmmmm's," or "ooooooooh's," and "oo-oo-oo-oh's," etc., would be the turn-ons.

4

I like it but to each his or her own.

4

Sexual stimulation in any safe form is acceptable. I'm not much into sexting except as foreplay, since I am not a great one-handed text partner. Phone sex, though, is lovely and should occur in all intimate relationships once in a while - distant or not.

Shawno1972 Level 7 Apr 24, 2018
4

I find it fun, only if there's no intention to ever meet in person. It's safe sex with none of the complications that come with trying to find a friend with benefits in real life. For me it's superficial though, and couldn't take the place of a true partnership or relationship.

maritime37 Level 5 Apr 24, 2018
2

I love the written word, but it doesn't convey the subtle nuances one hears in a voice. Even separated by miles, a phone call can be very intimate.

Twainwide Level 5 May 8, 2018
2

Ready, willing and able, but my experience with women online is that they're mostly convinced that all men are on dating sites solely for cheap no-strings sex. And that's not me. I think men need to make an effort to not add more fuel to that bonfire. I did it once with a lady I'd never met, but only at her invitation. We enjoyed it but it was a one-time thing. Prefer it be attached to a real relationship, but that could be part of the fantasy.

mtnhome Level 7 Apr 29, 2018
2

This doesn't even have to be in a long distance relationship. It's fun to exchange sexy texts with a willing partner, and then talk about them over dinner ?

2

I can't do that with someone unless I was intending to meet them in person one day. I'd like to say that im a fairly serious person when it comes to relationships. But I have to have a connection with that person. I can't just sext a person I don't know. You can say its because I have certain standards or accuse me of being close minded. But it facilitates a intimate connection between two people. Does that make be a wierdo? What do you think?

Parzival Level 5 Apr 28, 2018
2

Long distance is hard

Robbo1847 Level 5 Apr 28, 2018

@LetzGetReal Hmmm double-entendre, you might say I have a thing about double-entendre, and you'd be right, I have a big thing!

2

I would. Imagination is the key, using descriptive romantic words and visualizing your actions can be quite effective. I always said that sex is more in the brain than in the genitals.

2

I have but that was while I was deployed. Im much more hesitant about it these days though. And for good reasons...But sexting? Doesn't anyone know how to write a decent love letter anymore?

Parzival Level 5 Apr 26, 2018

That's true. What are your reasons for being against sexting?

@Kojaksmom I keep hearing too many horror stories about people sending pics and then finding them on fake profiles on sketchy websites. Between two people who are in a relationship i think its okay. But I wouldnt do it with someone i didn't know. I skyped my sig-o all the time when i was deployed and we did things but i never saved any video to my computer.

2

Sometimes yes!

Nickbeee Level 8 Apr 25, 2018
2

While I flirt with most any female I come in contact with, my only real sexting either came after I'd slept with a woman, or was planning to have sex with a specific woman.

I do enjoy writing and I'd think I would enjoy a long distance relationship. I am concerned that after a while I'd lose interest.

phil21 Level 7 Apr 24, 2018
1

I have and I would exchange textual forms of "sex". Also done video (Skype etc).

Exchanging photos/recorded videos only to be done with someone well-known.

1

I think it really depends on the two people and if they want to do this. Long distance relationships are hard, but they can succeed if the both parties are willing to compromise.

ballou Level 8 May 2, 2018
1

@Kojaksmom Are you willing and under what circumstances?

FrayedBear Level 9 Apr 24, 2018

Yes , i have before with someone whom I've never met in person. We chatted through phone /texts for a fairly long while .the mood hit one night and we went for it. I never did this befote, but found it to be a major turn on. I was quite surprised. I'm not up for it with a stranger though, I do need to develope a foundation first

@Kojaksmom Understandable if you are only semi anonymous. Have you read the #MagicPudding? One interpretation is that giving freely after some other interchange like conversation is not a reward but an ongoing mutual pleasure and continuation of the conversation. It can also allow for the exploration and satiation of desires that would not be acceptable in reality.

@Kojaksmom You have just reminded me not of phone sex but a beautiful phone relationship that lasted nearly 9 months. For about 7 of those months neither of us knew what the other looked liked. The relationship level of trust was such that she would tell me to hang on whilst she noisily vomited into a bucket that she put the phone next to. The chemo causing the vomiting was ineffective and she died a few months later. I selfishly wept at her death...it was my loss of future exchanges now denied.

0

I did that with my late partner. She was in Texas and I in Seattle. I love variety (but not kinky) which they say is the spice of life. It was new to us both but definitely worthwhile.

JackPedigo Level 9 May 10, 2018
0

I did have an odd experience like this, through a writers group I was involved in I met and communicated with a lady in the USA for a number of years. Because I am partially dyslexic she offered to proof read some of my stories and correct them for me.
After a time she began discussing online a number of Issues with erotic scenes in my writing, these discussion became very detailed and deeply explored the nature of erotica. She spent time making suggestions, editing and helping me better understand the way women read romantic and erotic fiction. on night she became flustered and finally she admitted she was using these discussions to pleasure herself.
I'll admit that even though I was an unwitting party to it, I was both flattered and embarrassed, to this day I'm not sure if this was cybersex or not.

0

Still feels like cheating to me. Anyone want to convince me otherwise? lol

Dingodog Level 7 Apr 29, 2018
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