25 years ago I realized I needed a divorce. After 3 kids and a lot of really good food I was not in shape to be divorced, so I ATKINS dieted off 120 pounds. Lots of exercise, too. I was a size 10 and I LOVED it. My spouse, suspecting my exit plan, emotionally abused me the last 2 years. I made my getaway all the same. Then I got a boob lift and fluff and a tummy tuck. I looked like a million bucks. I was expecting the deep depression from living with fear and loathing to go away when he went away. NOPE. I had a major depressive episode that lasted 5 years in spite of a very high end social life, and rich men falling all over me. I'm managed with meds now. Strattera works for me. Remarried 12 years to the most boring man ever. Put some of those pounds back on because the knees are agonizing and the spouse only wants to watch sports on TV. He's going to have to get his ass off the sofa and get ready to work some of that belly off. My knee surgery is next week. We both need to drink much less. I've found that not drinking is exactly the same as not eating an entire carton of ice cream. They are both addictions.

Don't beat yourself up. I believe in the surgery for health, even mental health reasons. But you have to stick by your intaje limitations. Work in your body going forward. Allow yourself to feel good. Give yourself permission to live yourself. Invite health and joy into your life.

Regarding alternstive coping mechsnisms, I have several but it’s a constant battle. Mindfulness meditation. Medical marijuana (instead of psych meds). I run a group therapy for bariatric patients on Facebook. I see someone. Food addiction is permanent. The feelings are permanent. The surgery doesn’t fix your brain. it also doesnt make you happy by losing weight. this is not to say I should not have done it — im hsppy I did it otherwise id probably be dead.

Looking good

wow!!!

I weighted 356 and had Lap Ban surgery, Now I am at 215 and have kept the weight off since 2004.

My doctor recommended it, and I have agreed. He is running tests to verify I can withstand it.

You both look REALLY good! But yes, life is complicated. I solved my weight issues by eating only healthy foods (all-natural and no mammal products)... nothing else. Took 3-years, but 70 of the 80 "extra" pounds are now gone. No side-effects other than better health all-around.

If anyone has questions about the surgery or what it is like afterwards I’m happy to answer. I also run a group on Facebook called “Bariatric Group Therapy” for people with food addiction considering the surgery, are pre-op or post op.

Good for you and your wife. I have thought about it. As for the anger issue, as I stated in the other group, I have been seeing a councillor that specialized in Rational Emotive Behavioural Therapy. It gave me the tools to deal with anxiety and anger issues. I hope this helps.

I've been trying but it's expensive and I can't afford it.

looks good. I myself wouldnt do the surgery but at a certain weight it would be tempting. where does the anger issue fit in here?