My late partner was the most rational person I (and many others) have ever known. She often had severe headaches and lots of things would set her off and, for her it became a balancing game. One thing she loved was to dance. We had one famous band, Abby Road come to the island every year and she would go and dance the night away knowing it would cost her the next day. For her it was worth it. Our relationship and life together was worth the pain of losing her. It doesn't have to end, though, as maybe I'll get lucky again. If not I still have the wonderful memories and try to temper that with sadness. She wouldn't.

I don’t expect to get over the pain entirely until she comes alive again. As a very good friend put it “it never goes away, but it does get better.”

I respect the fact that you are still grieving, but I think you need to try to stop focusing on the pain and try to move into a more positive mindset. We have all lost our partners, whom we dearly loved, we all have our treasured memories, and we all feel the pain of loss....but we owe it to ourselves, and our lost loves, to be happy again. Norm wouldn’t want you to be so sad all the time I feel sure of that. There are counsellors who can advise on how to manage your grief and channel it into thinking more positively, it may be worth considering a session or two. I hope you take this message in the spirit it’s meant, as I can feel the deep sadness you’re feeling in every post you make.