CELEBRATING MY 18th SOBRIETY ANNIVERSARY TODAY!!!

"How'd'ya do it?" IF I go to an AA meeting they won't like my response, beyond "I din't drink!"

I'm not a 'meeting person'. I have no sponsor, beyond memories of my "temporary" of five years. I review my steps often and 12th step not only for alcoholics and addicts, but for anyone I can be of immediate assistance.

I don't have this medallion other than on the net. I chose it though because it's colors represent that of my Union Command Council in the many fantasy gaming worlds, many of my own making, as I was both learning the basics of HTML and establishing a world wide network of gamers who helped me in overseeing 'military operations' in over 100 text, MMORPGs and even play by email games.

Members of the Command Council performed specific duties in the design, implementation and/or overseeing of Union Military Operations or other Union activities. Many of these members joined the military, some were recruited as civilian consultants, a few went into Spec Ops.

I'm very proud of my "hobby" which garnered several awards, sponsors and several thousand players. But, when I found out the real money was in modeling, and even more in porn, my drunken and coked up self tried to rule and micromanage everyone...players, models, even those I depended on most. I manipulated sponsors and paying clients with amazing skill as well.

This went on for seven years. At first it was GREAT!!! PARTEH!!! But, near the end some 20 years ago, I began a regimen of coke and coffee with a beer about every hour to cut the "edge" so I could work...and play...up to and often over 20 hours a day.

That crash was hard, but hardly the end. Two more years would pass before I hit rock bottom, after being a 40 year old living with my mother and working any job I could find where I could drink during lunch or easily hide a stash I could sneak to over breaks.

That was then, this is now. I bear the scars of those 'daze' but I recognize the good I did for much of it as well. Still, as they say, I do 'play the tape' forward every day. I have no doubt, with all my current problems, I am a better man today than I was on my best day then. MUCH poorer financially and materialistically but having a peace and serenity...a knowledge of myself I feared to ever look at as an active drunk.

If you've read this so far, thank you for letting me share. For those who would like to follow our path on a.com you will be more than welcome in "Recovery: Achieving The Life You Want Or The Life You Lost"