i wrote this a while ago. it is the beginning of another unfinished novel. if you're so inclined to share your opinion, i would like to hear any thoughts on chapter one....
[writinginarowhouse.com]
1
Enjoy being online again!
Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.Create your free account
2 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.
@Lillyfield41 -- Read what was on the site. I think you're off to a good start with this one and I have some feeling about where this first content is leading. In that I could be wrong. Anyway, I think I would do some restructuring of the very first part dealing with the reportage by starting off with the reporter speaking and inject bits and pieces of the details of Mayim's descriptives (much of the info contained in your current first paragraph) to dispose of the feeling of info-dump and kick it off with an active running start. Like your pictures.
A little more restructuring a bit later for the same purpose would help. All in all, a good first impression with enough to make me want Chapter 2.
By the way, if you want to discuss details without overloading the thread, feel free to message me.
evidentialist
Level 8
Nov 26, 2018
1
thank you. I understand your notes. and thinking about where my head was when i first wrote this, i think i had just watched zero theorem and completely outlined this story. ( i do have the outline ) .... i guess i did info dump. i do want to get back to this story. the octopuses showed up (unexpectedly) on jupiter in another story of mine. (that story has been complete seven times. ha!) again... thank you so much for your time and words.
@Lillyfield41 -- Any time. Not much of a world if we don't help one another. Funny line about the octopuses.
Recent Visitors 23
Lovemylife1
MI, USA
jrobertson
TX, USA
malayang-isipan
Canada
dhyanayoga
Sunrise Beach,
stardust2101
Canada
Photos 390 More
Posted by K9JetLee999Here's the Kindle version of my latest book. If you have Prime, it's free if not 3.99. Geez I'd really like to see what it's like to earn 99 cents. [amazon.com]
Posted by ThomasThurstonA new controversial novel, Becoming Christ is released now! The novel presents Jesus not as the Son of God but as a handsome and ambitious young preacher who gets swept up in his own message, who ...
Posted by K9Kohle789[amazon.
Posted by aisha1998I against domestic voilence
Posted by RiturajRao87 NCRB (national crime record bureau) data shows 95% rape victims in India known to offenders; Madhya Pradesh tops the list. [firstpost.com]
Posted by RiturajRao87National bigotary mission (राष्ट्रीय कट्टरता मिशन)
Posted by JackPedigoYesterday was Margaret Attwoods birthday.
Posted by VadimSounds like a useful skill.
Posted by freelanceamyI'm about to finish my sample and thinking about purchasing. I've been looking at other samples on secular Buddhism and this one seems about right for me right now. Thoughts?
Posted by guntisI'm dreaming of a poetry book with illustrations like this
Posted by Jinx5555555Some people care about titles, clothes, jewelry, cars, nice homes, and such.
Posted by evidentialistNew findings from an asteroid sample. [msn.com]
Posted by evidentialist Announcement: Those of you who have joined and not yet written a bio, be aware that I have begun purging those who have not.
Posted by FrayedBearCan it be sent viral?
Posted by FrayedBearCan it be sent viral?
Posted by FrayedBearCan it be sent viral?