It took nature 4.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jul 3, 2019:

Where does nature having a conscience come from? It's pure vanity on the part of humanity to imagine we are different to any other creature that crawls the planet, we are the most dangerous to every other species and ourselves! Mother nature will survive man, I hope most other inhabitants of our ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 4, 2019:

@Neenz There are "special" creatures on this planet Neenz, In my opinion, humanity is not one of them or worthy of a place here, perhaps that's why so many dream of the next world, where mankind belongs!

If the Vatican cared more for the quality of life and less about the sanctity of life, the world ...

NicoleCadmium comments on Jul 3, 2019:

What Catholicism cares about most is breeding as many followers as possible. It harnesses the human sexual urge to encourage its followers to breed far larger families than they actually want, and of course raise those children to do the same again when they're old enough. No masturbation. No ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 3, 2019:

Very eloquent, bravo!

I left the UK in 1997 when Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister, another tosser, I've never looked ...

altschmerz comments on Jul 2, 2019:

I don't know where else to go, honestly.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

@altschmerz Strangely enough, it was a toss up between Fort Myers FL or Portugal. If you live in another country and don't speak the language fluently you miss so much and probably end up with a load of drunkards who speak English, bad idea!

If Trump is reelected, the Canadian border is reachable by most!

mcgeo52 comments on Jul 2, 2019:

It's a two to three day drive from here. Mexico is less than half a day. My friend's sailboat in the harbor is less than 15 minutes by bicycle.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

What a wonderful option to have!

I left the UK in 1997 when Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister, another tosser, I've never looked ...

altschmerz comments on Jul 2, 2019:

I don't know where else to go, honestly.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Have you looked under the rainbow? I was 41 when I made the move, took balls but was well worth it. I cant think of a better place to live my life out.

If Trump is reelected, the Canadian border is reachable by most!

Freedompath comments on Jul 2, 2019:

But, they can’t take half of the American population!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Easily, they may need warm clothing though!

I left the UK in 1997 when Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister, another tosser, I've never looked ...

bobwjr comments on Jul 2, 2019:

No shit

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Truth, same weekend that Princess Diana died in Paris! 31st August.

I left the UK in 1997 when Tony Blair was elected Prime Minister, another tosser, I've never looked ...

Diogenes comments on Jul 2, 2019:

"Blair", Bush's little boy!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Well said that man! Just like Donny and Kim, building a "special" relationship.......WTF!!

If Trump is reelected, the Canadian border is reachable by most!

Mofo1953 comments on Jul 2, 2019:

Really? So is the Mexican border, at least for 48 states.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jul 2, 2019:

Your destiny will depend on your destination, I know which one I would choose!

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, a meeting of great minds?

bobwjr comments on Jun 30, 2019:

FWB?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 30, 2019:

@bobwjr Thanks, was thinking there would be more venom involved!

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, a meeting of great minds?

Freedompath comments on Jun 30, 2019:

They need each other!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 30, 2019:

Yes, poor mites, having to live without one another all these years, It's like the start of a horror movie!

Kim Jong Un and Donald Trump, a meeting of great minds?

bobwjr comments on Jun 30, 2019:

FWB?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 30, 2019:

Explain the initials please, I suffer with these! :-)

I'm in trouble.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 28, 2019:

If your dog misses you, accept that as the highest accolade you could possibly have, I lament the passing of my lovely Border Collie\ Labrador "Ruby" a bi-lingual genius and dear friend, she will live in my heart until I pass too!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 29, 2019:

@PondartIncbendog My Ruby could see my thoughts before I had a chance to gesticulate so I knew she was reading me! Special..don't think your friend is a dumb mutt, they know things we have long forgotten!

Cat Stevens Father and Son, original video, superb, minimum production, maximum quality.

FrayedBear comments on Jun 28, 2019:

Do you mean this video? It is not impossible for you to correct yuour post. You obviously watched a video, probably on YouTube. My accompanying photo show a grey arrow curving right. If you had pressdd it an urll will pop up for you to copy. We only required the url posting. Your upload hardlyh ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 28, 2019:

Thanks for the tips, I'm not familiar with the jargon but nice of you to be bothered!

Cat Stevens Father and Son, original video, superb, minimum production, maximum quality.

Marionville comments on Jun 27, 2019:

Then here it is, a live performance from 1971. Your moniker is kind of a good indicator of your vintage mindset....are you still driving one? https://youtu.be/QQ2D58hVE7o

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 28, 2019:

Hello group boss, thanks for the prompt reply, wonderful! I have never owned a Cambridge but always admired them from childhood! I am the proud owner of a 25 yr old Peugeot 205 XAD 2 seater with loadspace in the back! I call it "o meu burro" my donkey, costs nothing to run, does 100klms on 4 litres of diesel :-)

Democracy had it's doubters in ancient Greece, most of the great minds thought it unworkable.

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 27, 2019:

Trump followers have no interest if following the news because they think it's boring fiction. They think of "reality" shows show are **reality.** Therefore after watching Trump on his reality show, they came to think he could do no wrong. They saw him as a wise, powerful and insanely wealthy ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

Exactly, why let them?

I am a 67 year old Type2Diabetic .

Freedompath comments on Jun 27, 2019:

This sounds like a real challenge. My only suggestion is to distract yourself as much a possible, with things that interest you. However, try to stay focused ‘in the moment’...NOT thinking about what could happen or what has already happened. This will consume precious energy needed for daily ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

Wise words as per usual!

Democracy had it's doubters in ancient Greece, most of the great minds thought it unworkable.

Our_existence comments on Jun 27, 2019:

The tRumpthuglicans have totally undermined our democracy. Their masters, the Koch Brothers, don't believe in every persons right to vote. The little people aren't smart enough to make informed decisions according to them. They want to rewrite the Constitution. (For real!)

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

@19dacar52 Perfectly correct, the pervayors of untruths have power over the minds of the hapless! The meek will inherit the Earth but only when the strong and ruthless have finished with it! Shame!!!!

Democracy had it's doubters in ancient Greece, most of the great minds thought it unworkable.

Our_existence comments on Jun 27, 2019:

The tRumpthuglicans have totally undermined our democracy. Their masters, the Koch Brothers, don't believe in every persons right to vote. The little people aren't smart enough to make informed decisions according to them. They want to rewrite the Constitution. (For real!)

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

@Freedompath I'd like to help you ma'am but your'e to young to vote! ;-D We know how it works but some parts need addressing, like giving mindless, beer swilling assholes the same rights as contributing sober citizens...

Democracy had it's doubters in ancient Greece, most of the great minds thought it unworkable.

Our_existence comments on Jun 27, 2019:

The tRumpthuglicans have totally undermined our democracy. Their masters, the Koch Brothers, don't believe in every persons right to vote. The little people aren't smart enough to make informed decisions according to them. They want to rewrite the Constitution. (For real!)

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

Do you think that Trump supporters, even after the mountain of proof that he is nothing more than a common criminal, should ever be allowed to vote again? Preposterous, name, shame and dispossess the idiots of their right to vote! They are a disgrace to the democratic philosophy!

Just saying

thinktwice comments on Jun 26, 2019:

we are finally worse than the worse of humanity...seriously...lower than the terrorists?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

@thinktwice I shall call you canned laughter from now on! Trumpies' little devils at work, gestapo in deed if not in name!

Just saying

thinktwice comments on Jun 26, 2019:

we are finally worse than the worse of humanity...seriously...lower than the terrorists?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

@thinktwice I have the terrible feeling that this may be Spam! ;-)

Just saying

thinktwice comments on Jun 26, 2019:

we are finally worse than the worse of humanity...seriously...lower than the terrorists?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 27, 2019:

@Sticks48 Prisoners of war, which the murdering zealots in Gitmo are, are protected by the Geneva convention. The people in detention centers for illegal immigration can only rely on the humanity of their hosts!

"The Mexican government has dispatched approximately 15,000 troops and National Guard officers to ...

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 25, 2019:

Are you sure it's not to stop you Gringo bastards getting cheaper everything their side of the border?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 25, 2019:

@Bierbasstard You are the big fish, we have less population in Portugal than most large cities 10.7m and falling, less money than you spend on hamburgers and beer, nice being Chickenshit though! We have more immigrants from Syria than the US, have a look at the stats if you have access to the truth?

Why do so many Americans (as they call themselves) despise the word "immigration"?

NoPlanetB comments on Jun 22, 2019:

Yep, I am the second generation on one side of my family and some Native American. I am a progeny of both the invaders and the invaded.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 22, 2019:

Nice to hear from a real American!

Why do so many Americans (as they call themselves) despise the word "immigration"?

SeaGreenEyez comments on Jun 22, 2019:

Oh, you're clearly missing the whole point. Americans don't hate immigration policies. **Too many Americans** simply hate brown people that are immigrants. You don't see these same people dissing on yellow people. Which is interesting because between 2010 & 2017, Asains made up 41% of incoming ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 22, 2019:

You are quite right, fuck the middle east, just like global warming, not how America rolls, just a bit of fall-out for the rest of the world to cope with!

Would it appease the Trump haters if a Republican beat him to the White House in 2020 and not a ...

zeuser comments on Jun 19, 2019:

I doubt it. The question is which one could beat him in the primaries who would also stand a snowball's chance in hell of winning in the general. Cruz? Rubio? Lindsey fucking Graham? This William Weld guy is not crazy lyin' batshit enough to out-twitter the talking yam. Still, the toothless horde ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 19, 2019:

Love it, always words of wisdom from the man Zeuser! Thanks.

Would it appease the Trump haters if a Republican beat him to the White House in 2020 and not a ...

wordywalt comments on Jun 19, 2019:

It would take a Republican with the stature, courage, and commitment to the well-being of our nation like a Lincoln or Teddy Roosevelt. But, there are no current Republicans with such stature, wisdom, morality, or courage.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 19, 2019:

Are there democrats with the same attributes? In the UK they have the same dilemma, Jeremy Corbyn is an asshole that die hard labour supporters do not want as their leader (nor anybody else) and Boris Johnson is a Trump in waiting, journalist, MP, minor TV star, (his greatest claim to fame) and traitor with a capital T, Just like your Mr. Big! (sorry to anyone who read that without the edit, hope it makes more sense now?)

Would it appease the Trump haters if a Republican beat him to the White House in 2020 and not a ...

TheDoubter comments on Jun 19, 2019:

not going to happen. idle question

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 19, 2019:

Driven by idle curiosity, no doubt..

Could the Democrats use Critical Thinking to De-rail Trumps attempt at reelection?

ToolGuy comments on Jun 19, 2019:

Nope. Thinking and logic is not a tool for shifting or attracting votes.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 19, 2019:

Just a wild shot in the dark Toolguy!

Would it appease the Trump haters if a Republican beat him to the White House in 2020 and not a ...

KKGator comments on Jun 19, 2019:

No. Nothing would appease them other than him becoming emperor. Which, coincidentally, is what he wants, too. He calls it "president for life", but that's what he means.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 19, 2019:

Surely Trump haters wouldn't want him to be Emperor??

Would it appease the Trump haters if a Republican beat him to the White House in 2020 and not a ...

Jk1960 comments on Jun 19, 2019:

Yes - but no way it will happen. That would mean the Republican Party would be saying the current president was a mistake we made. They would loose all credibility! That would take an act of God. Lol

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 19, 2019:

Yes, yes and yes again!

A couple of hints for us older folk, men do not consider tucking your testicles in your socks, hang ...

Lorajay comments on Jun 18, 2019:

British humor is often over my head.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 18, 2019:

Bless! Honesty is a wonderful thing.....

I see on the TV news this morning that the Trump supporters are digging deep into their coffers for ...

silverotter11 comments on Jun 18, 2019:

The problem is how to get the approximately 58% of the population that is NOT for trump to show up and vote against him.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 18, 2019:

DOH!!! It will have to be using the morons media, TV, offer them free beer for a free vote, something like that, you'll see!

Annie E Casey Foundation: 6 Million poor children in the USA, unacceptable under any Party?

MojoDave comments on Jun 18, 2019:

Do you have a link?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 18, 2019:

Sorry Mr. Mojo, I don't use links pictures etc., just words!

Annie E Casey Foundation: 6 Million poor children in the USA, unacceptable under any Party?

HippieChick58 comments on Jun 18, 2019:

This group bashes Drumpf. Please tell me how this fits in the group? If it doesn't fit, please post elsewhere.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 18, 2019:

Beware! All politicians are their own best friends, devils incarnate.....Meh!

A naked sex maniac bursts into a Laundromat, sexually assault's three women before running off! The ...

amymcmxcii comments on Jun 17, 2019:

Like the pistol toting, deadbeat Panda...over to you A-C.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 17, 2019:

@amymcmxcii Great, nice one, I prefer your version, don't tell the groaner's I said that please!....Rah!!

It takes a certain kind of person to put a rabid dog down, a not very easy act of kindness to ...

mcgeo52 comments on Jun 17, 2019:

Whatever happened to the oath that people took to defend the Constitution against all enemies, foreign and...?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 17, 2019:

It must be evermore distressing being armed to the teeth and unable to exercise your right to defend your homeland from dangerous enemies!

A naked sex maniac bursts into a Laundromat, sexually assault's three women before running off! The ...

amymcmxcii comments on Jun 17, 2019:

Like the pistol toting, deadbeat Panda...over to you A-C.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 17, 2019:

Panda?

A naked sex maniac bursts into a Laundromat, sexually assault's three women before running off! The ...

amymcmxcii comments on Jun 17, 2019:

Like the pistol toting, deadbeat Panda...over to you A-C.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 17, 2019:

OK!

This is a feckin' joke, it's both very Jewish and very English, OK?

Cutiebeauty comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Meh...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 16, 2019:

Ah! An intelligent response, enlightening, thank you!

This is a feckin' joke, it's both very Jewish and very English, OK?

SiouxcitySue comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Grrrooooaaaannnnn!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 16, 2019:

Vhat do agnostics know from funny any vay?

This is a feckin' joke, it's both very Jewish and very English, OK?

amymcmxcii comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Best of Yiddish humour! Myron Cohen would be proud.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 16, 2019:

Many thanks, my sentiment entirely!

I may have a solution to the American peoples dilemma.

Charlene comments on Jun 16, 2019:

Question, how much of the U.K yearly budget goes to the Royals?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 16, 2019:

By far less than the royals earn in tourism, don't expect jack shit in tourism for those trump shites though, who would travel to see them? That's why they will need their own wealth, innit :D

Pence wins lifetime supply of dildos for a lifetime in the closet [patheos.com]

Our_existence comments on Jun 16, 2019:

He really is in th| closet you know. The biggest gay haters are usually suppressing themselves and their queerness ❤💛💚💙💜

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 16, 2019:

@Tomaf On our side of the pond we say "queer as a chocolate frog" don't ask why, I have no idea!

I was pondering ways of despatching the Trump and thought,"The red hot iron up the anus" Does that ...

Charlene comments on Jun 15, 2019:

Being Drawn and Quartered is to good for Drump..

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 15, 2019:

How drawn out could you make it?

I was pondering ways of despatching the Trump and thought,"The red hot iron up the anus" Does that ...

Freedompath comments on Jun 15, 2019:

I just fantasize a natural death...it must be that in my mind, that frees me from worse thoughts! Where does insanity come from, if we are not born with it? It has to come from our brains...just like the computer, ‘garbage in, garbage out!’ Will trump’s presidency leave the American ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 15, 2019:

I fear he may have inspired a generation of idiots to be slaves to greed and avarice, only time will tell, good luck or the best of British, as we say!

Man on a train, middle of summer, girl opposite not wearing panties, showing her privates, do you ...

SiouxcitySue comments on Jun 15, 2019:

How old do you think that man was?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 15, 2019:

@SiouxcitySue Wonderfully explained Miss Sue, You're a canny lass, I think both men and women have itchy loins most of the time, like itchy feet? you know what I mean! (not crabs) As an agnostic I don't think I can come back and let you all know if it stopped when I kicked the bucket! ;P

Man on a train, middle of summer, girl opposite not wearing panties, showing her privates, do you ...

SiouxcitySue comments on Jun 15, 2019:

How old do you think that man was?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 15, 2019:

If he was avoiding the advances of a temptress by making light of "It" over 60 at a guess! ;D

White smoke coming from a chimney in Vatican city means "expect a new Pope"! Orange smoke coming ...

WonderWartHog99 comments on Jun 14, 2019:

There have been news stories about how to tell when Trump is making a tweet and when someone on his staff is making it for him.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 14, 2019:

Anal orange smoke involved?

White smoke coming from a chimney in Vatican city means "expect a new Pope"! Orange smoke coming ...

thinktwice comments on Jun 14, 2019:

I wonder if the Secret Service assigned to him wait outside that door a lot? I would hate that job...guarding the pres while he...tweets...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 14, 2019:

@thinktwice Ipso facto!

White smoke coming from a chimney in Vatican city means "expect a new Pope"! Orange smoke coming ...

thinktwice comments on Jun 14, 2019:

I wonder if the Secret Service assigned to him wait outside that door a lot? I would hate that job...guarding the pres while he...tweets...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 14, 2019:

@thinktwice Excellent, if you have latin, you have them all, just a million differences to sort out! :D I'll put my thinking cap on to find an amusing ditty or two, ate ja!

White smoke coming from a chimney in Vatican city means "expect a new Pope"! Orange smoke coming ...

thinktwice comments on Jun 14, 2019:

I wonder if the Secret Service assigned to him wait outside that door a lot? I would hate that job...guarding the pres while he...tweets...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 14, 2019:

@thinktwice Almost perfect, Bom fim de semana. Igualmente, (the same for you)

White smoke coming from a chimney in Vatican city means "expect a new Pope"! Orange smoke coming ...

thinktwice comments on Jun 14, 2019:

I wonder if the Secret Service assigned to him wait outside that door a lot? I would hate that job...guarding the pres while he...tweets...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 14, 2019:

Better than being inside with him! Don't care how big the bathrooms are, not big enough..;) Como estar?

Hopefully, Donald Trumps last contribution to global warming will be when his great tub of lard of a...

Mofo1953 comments on Jun 13, 2019:

On behalf of all us tubs of lard in America, what did we ever do to you to deserve such insult?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 14, 2019:

My apologies to all nice lardy folk, not to mindless shitheads though, no, no! :D

Full blown bat shit crazy and then some.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 13, 2019:

Support your President, support your country, YES!! buy a Honda? Wankers!!!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 13, 2019:

@thinktwice Not too shabby after all this time but still a hill of greenbacks! E, estou mais ou menos, obrigado para a perguntar!

Full blown bat shit crazy and then some.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 13, 2019:

Support your President, support your country, YES!! buy a Honda? Wankers!!!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 13, 2019:

@thinktwice Ola! Fair comment but whats the profit split? I try not to indulge in such questions these days but the last time I looked, (over 23 years ago) the Japones government were holding 13 trillion USD in US government bonds, bit of paper, and knew the economy was based on BS!

Hopefully, Donald Trumps last contribution to global warming will be when his great tub of lard of a...

Freedompath comments on Jun 13, 2019:

The only question left, when?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 13, 2019:

Must have a heart like a Sherman tank, it could be a long wait, we don't pray, do we? Now that would be proof if something untoward happened!! ;)

My kids want me to get them goats.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 12, 2019:

Talking of Ass's, have you thought of asking congress to pay for your new fence? :)

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 12, 2019:

@azzow2 Priceless mate, build it yourself, they're good for keeping A-holes out as well as the usual predators!

If only... If churches paid taxes.....

KKGator comments on Jun 12, 2019:

Never ceases to piss me off that churches don't pay taxes.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 12, 2019:

@KKGator Who would dare? Out of idle curiosity, does the KK stand for KLU KLUX?

It Makes you wonder just what it is that attracts women to the horrible, fat, piggy eyed, ...

St-Sinner comments on Jun 10, 2019:

You have to be a woman to know that. I have seen that often women are attracted to men we men think are ugly. We all know that love makes a person look handsome. It happens to women and men. Money and power are magnets too. Trump had all of it since the young age. He also knew how to carry ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 10, 2019:

Yeah man!.......Or was that just another way of saying...Yeah man? Better than the first comment!

It Makes you wonder just what it is that attracts women to the horrible, fat, piggy eyed, ...

genessa comments on Jun 10, 2019:

money g

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 10, 2019:

WTF?

A Pizza guy knocked my door at 10pm last night, he had a large box with the lid open, I said, I ...

TheDoubter comments on Jun 7, 2019:

ho-hum

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 7, 2019:

No! there was no smell at all!

A Pizza guy knocked my door at 10pm last night, he had a large box with the lid open, I said, I ...

thinktwice comments on Jun 7, 2019:

ha ha ha My grown nephew has posted every meal he has had on an airplane...My own sister won't even let me begin eating my food until she has taken a selfie of us with the food.... It is funny and annoying...good one, amigO! ;)

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 7, 2019:

A nossa amiga!

Man to his wife: If I died would you re-marry?

JackPedigo comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Why the hell not. Should she enshrine all these things? I would want things I used to be used by another. I often get things from our take-it-or-leave-it site and even the thrift store. The bed thing is the worst. Now I have a question that might be upsetting: My partner died in our bed and I still ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 7, 2019:

@JackPedigo And I hope there are no broomsticks parked next to it? ;)

A Pizza guy knocked my door at 10pm last night, he had a large box with the lid open, I said, I ...

St-Sinner comments on Jun 7, 2019:

Can you please tell me what toppings it had?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 7, 2019:

Liver and Pineapple!

Are dried up old witches with no sense of humor welcome to give their opinions about jokes meant for...

escapetypist comments on Jun 6, 2019:

There was once an Offenders Group. But the members Escaped

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

I had escaped but It's rather chilly out there. Don't get to level 9 man, they are miseries with no sense of humor and are condescending to struggling level 6 folk "we don't want your sort here, start your own group" "Non of your jokes are funny, I don't even look at the comments to see if they are!" Perhaps you have a limited sense of humor, ever given that a thought 9?

Man to his wife: If I died would you re-marry?

JackPedigo comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Why the hell not. Should she enshrine all these things? I would want things I used to be used by another. I often get things from our take-it-or-leave-it site and even the thrift store. The bed thing is the worst. Now I have a question that might be upsetting: My partner died in our bed and I still ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

That would take the shine off the bed knobs Jack!

A man got cornered on the street by a thief.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Jun 5, 2019:

Not funny! If marriage is such a trial for men, they should not get married or should divorce. Study after study reveal that marriage is beneficial for them while the opposite is true for women. My ex husband complained about marriage to mebut would threaten to kill me if I tried to get a ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

@Wesley-C Wildflower, nice comeback, a sense of humor, righteous man!!

MGM resorts got a 1.

bobwjr comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Fucking asshole

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

Pat, right, on the same page now! Nice one.

MGM resorts got a 1.

Austin-Cambridge comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Who is Pat?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

@TheGreatShadow Thanks for the heads up, never heard that expression!

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day,...

thinktwice comments on Jun 6, 2019:

I groan and then secretly laugh at you jokes....

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

@thinktwice Aw bless, very close, It's obrigada Feminine, or (ou) obrigado, masculine, but very well done!

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day,...

thinktwice comments on Jun 6, 2019:

I groan and then secretly laugh at you jokes....

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

@thinktwice You are as well balanced as a formula 1 car wheel, which is the highest accolade a woman can receive from a petrol head! ;)

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day,...

TheDoubter comments on Jun 6, 2019:

it goes over my head. Shag??

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

Carpet pile, ready rub, sea bird, remote possibility? You really ought to get out more mate!

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day,...

FrayedBear comments on Jun 6, 2019:

You have your accents confused - it only makes sense if the sheepcarrier and the passerby is a New Zealander.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

@Marionville Much esteemed Ms. Marionville, I love and appreciate accents from all over the world, it sounds like you have a good a handle on them too! How anyone could assume Australian or Kiwi accent from my little joke is priceless, I could have said a lane in Wales or a track in NZ, they're all sheep shaggers after all said and done, and it would be a jolly jape either way! Armchair critics, if you cant do it, teach it, if you can't teach it, criticize it. ;)

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day,...

bobwjr comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Groan

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

No points for "Groan" old chap, unless that's what the sheep said?

Australian walking along a dusty outback road with a sheep under each arm, chap passing says, G'day,...

thinktwice comments on Jun 6, 2019:

I groan and then secretly laugh at you jokes....

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

Thanks for being so candid Miss Thinktwice, everyone wants to be mean like Simon Cowell these day's! My old mother (RIP and bless her heart) used to say "If you have nothing nice to say, keep your feckin' mouth shut"! Wise words methinks!

Man to his wife: If I died would you re-marry?

ToolGuy comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Never gets old.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

Now, if I were J M Barrie, I'd find that inspiring! As it is, I'm not and I don't!

Man to his wife: If I died would you re-marry?

amymcmxcii comments on Jun 6, 2019:

Better....

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

Be neither judge nor jury, just enjoy the moment and put the lemon back in the fridge! ;)

A man got cornered on the street by a thief.

Killtheskyfairy comments on Jun 5, 2019:

Not funny! If marriage is such a trial for men, they should not get married or should divorce. Study after study reveal that marriage is beneficial for them while the opposite is true for women. My ex husband complained about marriage to mebut would threaten to kill me if I tried to get a ...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 6, 2019:

@Wesley-C I find it amazing how a "JOKE" can evoke such bitterness, perhaps they just bring unhappy memories to the fore for some?

Knock, knock! Who's there?

TheGreatShadow comments on Jun 5, 2019:

The last time I argued with them I got a whole lot of I can't answer that.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 5, 2019:

I'll kneel at my bedside tonight and ask the boss? Typical :D

I have some strong thoughts about this but, define psychic for me!

Existentially comments on Jun 3, 2019:

Well, since we do not understand all the intricacies of the fabric of our Universe, or whether or not or even how we may be connected to each other (think quantum physics, for example), it is entirely possible that what we relate to as being psychic is really just a talent for connecting with others...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 4, 2019:

Years ago I had a Border Collie X Labrador bitch, she could read my mind without any physical cues, not a doubt in my mind. If a dog has ESP then it's not beyond the realms of possibility for a human although I have never met one with the gift!

Do the folk in Glocca Morra ever ask how we are?

Haemish1 comments on Jun 3, 2019:

Should they?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 3, 2019:

Just that it was first published 73 years ago and sung a million times! There is a place in Ireland with the same name but spelled differently, blah, blah, blah.

I'm curious about what people on this site feel about the simulation hypothesis.

Austin-Cambridge comments on May 27, 2019:

The idea that the universe and all it's content including our world, all the history accumulated in our rocks and our painful evolution scientifically is all a simulation, computer generated or otherwise, is as probable an explanation as Genesis is! I would rather worship a creator than a programmer...

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 3, 2019:

@Dicaron Any that involve deities and lead to organized religion or in the case of the proposition made in the post, totally outrageous given our knowledge of the evolution of our world.

A woman finds her husband in bed during the afternoon, whats wrong darling she asks?

St-Sinner comments on Jun 2, 2019:

It is not funny.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

Two letter words rarely are O horned one!

A woman finds her husband in bed during the afternoon, whats wrong darling she asks?

ToolGuy comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Please explain where the humour is in this? Missing it.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

@dartagnan6666 OK Dart' I've re-scripted the joke, it no goes, A woman says to her husband, when I have a migraine don't try to have sex with me, I'm not in the mood! P.S. Who mention back pain and anal sex? Now that's spooky!

A woman finds her husband in bed during the afternoon, whats wrong darling she asks?

ToolGuy comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Please explain where the humour is in this? Missing it.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

@ToolGuy Just like the man in the joke! I bet the ladies sympathize with my heroine with the broom! Lets see? Try to get in touch with your feminine side.

A woman finds her husband in bed during the afternoon, whats wrong darling she asks?

ToolGuy comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Please explain where the humour is in this? Missing it.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

Let me explain my unworldly friend, imagine it's the wife who has the headache and replace the broomstick with a throbbing penis! See the funny part now?

I think that applies to most who work for the government on the gravy train, when it’s tax-payers ...

EyesThatSmile comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Stealing this one!! Thanks.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

Government employee?

Technology! I must have watched 100 of the "How it's made" programs on Discovery, suffering Tony ...

IrishTxJudy comments on Jun 2, 2019:

When it’s 3 am, you can’t sleep and there’s really nothing to watch, you can always find “How It’s Made” in tv.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

And when you awake it's like a dream you can't quite remember! :)

A white horse walks into a bar, the barman says, thats a coincidence, we have a whiskey on the shelf...

SukiSue comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Only funny if his name is "Bob."

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

Bob is someone who drives an original Mini, the suspension was crap!

I did not enjoy Roy Orbison as a kid and certainly not Pretty Woman.

Marionville comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Have you heard this new version with The Royal Philharmonic Orchestra? It was released a couple of years ago at the suggestion of his family who are included instrumentally and as a backing group on the album. https://youtu.be/5r3Up7Gdvp4

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

I had no idea that had even been made, a wonderful version, a thousand thanks!

Two old ladies chatting, old lady one (OL1) (joke in itself) says, did you see that program on TV ...

Marionville comments on Jun 2, 2019:

Certainly not!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

In a media exposure sense, clearly! :P

So, what was going on in Joseph and Mary's household before an angel came down and inseminated her?

tinkercreek comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Hahaha, what a funny chain of arguement and detail debate!

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

I had no idea my little "Ditty" would be so revealing!

So, what was going on in Joseph and Mary's household before an angel came down and inseminated her?

Summer72 comments on Jun 1, 2019:

What teeth?

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

Sorry, you have to go to my post of 15th May in this group, all will become clear!

So, what was going on in Joseph and Mary's household before an angel came down and inseminated her?

RobertMartin comments on Jun 1, 2019:

Mary's lucky I wasn't Joseph, being a virgin and suddenly pregnant, hell naw, I would've kicked her preggo ass to the curb. I ain't letting her pin another man's baby on me.

Austin-Cambridge replies on Jun 2, 2019:

@RobertMartin Closet Catholicism? We atheist don't normally use the word "fact" when referring to "stories" from the Bible!

I'm an atheist but if the Buddhist's are correct, I hope Trump is reincarnated as a very poor, ...

Boomtarat03 comments on May 31, 2019:

Why Mexican? He can still across in the US😂 why not Nigerian or Syrian then suffer in Syria and no country will accept him as a refugee😅

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 31, 2019:

So close and yet so far away, that's why! :)

Hello members! Whats the price of meat like where you live?

brentan comments on May 31, 2019:

Oh dear! Twice.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 31, 2019:

Easier to be a Humanist than a humorist with the internet an'all mate!

Just prior to a naval engagement Captain Hardy asked the Admiral Lord Nelson, Sir, why do you put on...

brentan comments on May 30, 2019:

I'd make him change his trousers before I asked him to kiss me.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

To be fair, it was never poved that he shat himself! :P

Interesting to some but old hat to others? [lifelessons.co]

ToolGuy comments on May 30, 2019:

Still true. Too many of us succumb to social pressure and go along with things letting the media snow us. The king would quickly realize he was being fooled if encountered real snow.

Austin-Cambridge replies on May 30, 2019:

Or, if those who had his ear had the courage to tell him what a wanker he is?