My 19 years of marriage were while I was in the Navy... We got a term "navy wife". A navy wife stays home, raise the kids and do everything while her man is out at sea deployed for up to 6 months at a time. I knew my wife been an athlete, gone to college, done some modeling, been a secretary, could dance, sell shoes and was pretty and smart. It was not about the money coming in it was about I didn't wanted her to waste as a navy wife (with all respect to all women holding that label now). So I requested her to work just to stay active outside the house. I am proud to say that from a job that started as a part time a few hours a week in a table in a library of a very small base. Now she has made it to a job that she travels the world inspecting Senior Rank Officers transient accommodations that not even the federal government shutdown affects her because her outfit is self sufficient. I am proud of her being mother of my children. I may never get the credit I may or may not deserve for her achievements in life but I didn't do it for the glory I did it for her potential and when I am Right about a Woman... Damn it I am Right!!!

Hmmm... it would truely help you if you would at least have 10 years of work that paid into your social security. You need 40 points. Check to see why. Life is not fairytale. You get what you put into it. You want to be a housewife... that's cool. What if something happens to your partner? Then what? Take advantage of all the professions you can reach for. Never ever think its going to be easy if just someone marries you and you just take care of the house and kids. Protect yourself. Protect your family. It's hard to get a great paying job out there in this world. There is always someone after yours. You got to stay on top of your game. If your partner looses his job then your the back up money. If he can't find one then kick his butt out. There's nothing worse you can do to yourself by being just a stay home house wife. I know that's an all day job... but it doesn't pay the bills. Sorry if I'm to opinionated here. Go see a financial advisor and see what you need to do. They will help you set your goals straight.

I think both sides of a couple need to maintain a middle class earning potential just from a risk mitigation standpoint. It is not smart to build potential helplessness into the structure of your life.

It is not bad to be a stay at home parent for either spouse, but get a degree or training that you will always be able to fall back in. To be able to earn enough money to maintain the lifestyle you want.

Death happens, divorce happens, disability happens, 2008 recession happens. It’d be terrible to have your spouse lose their job and you can’t do anything to prevent the household from going into free fall.

It sounds as if you're making less of a career choice and more of lifestyle choice. Trust me, if you want to be dressed up by a man, physically and fincially controlled by a man, while you try to recreate a 1950's household, it's a niche fetish men will flock to fulfill in the bdsm culture.

Not my ideal at all, but I wish you the best of luck. I also hope you know how immensely capable you are and that everyone is a little afraid of having to be masters of our own fate.

Use the right terms. What you are talking about is male domination, not "old-fashioned". I am 80 years old, and my wife and I both worked, and we have always shared decision-making and responsibilities.

Personally, I'd highly recommend learning a marketable skill that you can support yourself on. This will give you the power and freedom to be independent someday if you want to. I've seen many woman who want a fairy tale life, and end up trapped with a bad guy for financial reasons.

You are 19, why label yourself as "having no skills" as though that's all you're destined to be? You haven't even had time to find a suitable skill and passion yet. It's fine if you simply want to be a housewife, but I reject your logic leading to that decision.

It seems to me that the term" old fashioned" refers to the way your grandmother lived 50 years ago. So if you lift your shirt at concerts, hitch hike around, have drug fueled sex, you're an "old fashioned" girl!

There’s no real reason y u can’t have both....distance learning study....be a housewife

I don’t have a preference, because I don’t have a wife ????????, let alone a GF. I couldn’t say, but i’d probably let her do whatever she wants to do so long as things in life are going well and we are happy. As long as she is being productive in her life and pursuing a passion that she loves, and we are filling each others weaknesses like a team, and if the financial situation is good to go then I have no problems.

There’s nothing wrong with being a housewife, but there’s more to life than raising children. I think you’ll regret not doing or becoming something else when you’re children leave home.

I prefer the old fashioned way where the guy brings home the money and the female raises the child. I was fortunate to be able to have this situation and could afford to do so because I never lived above my means. If I could not of had this situation I would not have got maried or had a child in the first place. No one can argue that it is better for a child to be taken care of by day care all day. If people chose to have one child ,more people might be able to do this. My wife and I agreed to this lifestyle before we got married and this is what she always wanted in life any way. She has skills and could return to the workforce if I drop dead. Woman should have a skill or profession to fall back on if necessary

I am a lazy man. Would like to stay home and let my wife work. Ha ha.. On serious note, present day both need to work so as to meet both ends. So old fashioned lifestyle is a luxury for the working class.

I guess my preference would be for my wife to work. Not because I'm against her staying at home, just because when I get home from a bad day we can both rant about that one person who gets on our nerves at work and spend an hour validating each others extremely biased perspective of that one person who made a mildly snarky comment and probably meant nothing by it but they have horrible taste in music so they're dumb...sorry I'm single right now.

What works and what floats your boat.

I would have loved to be a house husband, my ex just up and stopped working and refused to go back, her argument was that is the reason she got married so she didn't have to work. Compromise, kids and I left when they were old enough to choose and I raised them as a single dad, unfortunately this meant working long hours, lots of hour at night working from home, but my employer was as helpful as possible, I never missed a single event in my kids school lives and they never came home to an empty house. Things can be awkward, I have dated wealthy women who insist the man pays, I try and be chivalrous, polite and so on, I open doors, I lift the heavy stuff, pay for the 1st meal when starting to date a lady, I give the excuse that I pay when we are out because it is more likely that the lady does the home cooked meal. That has almost NEVER happened. Don't get me wrong, I have no objection to the lady paying after the 1st date, and in all of my longer term relationships, it has been the lady who instigated the relationship and sex. I don't have any problems with this.

I am of two minds about this. I believe that when children are below the age of 17 a child should have full time access to either their mother or father. Whomever stays home with the kids. Men are just as capable to being the nurturing caregiver just like woman are capable of serving in a battle. My 2nd part of that, is if the kids are functioning young adults and are gaining their independence then there is no reason the woman can't join the workforce. She could help build a nest egg for their retirement. Or simply just expand her horizons and meet new people. Seriously, what is she going to do when the kids are grown and gone?

There is some grace in knowing what you want.

In my last relationship, I explained to her that I cannot afford you to just be at home and that you needed to do your part. I didn't expect a clean house, but I expected it to be organized. But when the dishes weren't done and I don't have money for McDonald's, I just made a mess around the house, did the dishes and cooked a meal. I did offer her some but she refused.
You see, I can't bring home all the bacon, but you need to pull your fair share of it. And if you want to stay at home, fine. But don't expect me to own a car, don't expect me to bring in all the food,. Help out, grow a garden. Use the bicycles and bicycle trailer that I provided and the monthly bus pass.

I spent 25+ years as a stay at home mom. We also moved frequently (ex was military, and I was when we married.) I did not have skills for a good job, so staying home with the kids was a good choice for us. I should have started taking college courses when we finally had the stability of a metropolitan area and children in school, however I put it off. I hit the point where I knew the marriage had to end and I had to be ready so I got an Associate's degree. I wish I had gone further, but hindsight is 20/20. My girls (I don't have sons) were encouraged to get their degree and get a job as in this day and age it is hard to have a one income family. I think each couple needs to make that decision, and child care is frightfully expensive. And there is nothing wrong with a stay at home dad.

To each their own, I guess. I, personally, used to want this but after being a sort of 'house wife' to my ex of three years...I can safely say, NO THANK YOU. I like to work. I like to have my own money. I like to have a routine and a schedule outside of my home. I also find that I get really very annoyed if I'm the ONLY one doing any sort of housework and such even if I'm not working- I still feel everything should be very egalitarian and shared.

I/we, are in that mold. Although within today's still developing type of economic structure for middle and lower class, that type of structured home life is for the most part is unsustainable. Mary however as you referred to, does both. What a blessing I got in her 4 years ago! After decades of bad relationship after bad relationship. I hope you're able to find a good man that has the ability to take you within your desired life style and find the best of times together. With that said though. At your age it's not likely to come soon. Search well and be very attentive to the nature of potential prospects. The history of most here would tell you, you have many relationships to trial before you actually find a good one. My trials took me to 51 before I found Mary. Sometimes I wish I had this advice and understood it earlier in my life sometimes. But better late than never!

I see some hard comments below. Her claim to having no skills doesn't imply she doesn't plan on having any all her life. She obviously would develop skills as parenting alone. She can also develop skills as she attends school meetings as she meets others leading to a well of other aspects. She could very well become the next best politician in her area through this type of parenting. These types of women use to form some of the best localities across America during our best times! Something we as a nation should get back to in my opinion. Something out of Glass House>>> You had a core of college-educated, sophisticated people who made good livings working right downtown at the corner of Broad and Main Street, and more importantly, in some ways, their wives — remember this is '40s, '50s, '60s and into the '70s — their wives typically didn't work at a career-type job outside the home. They threw themselves into the town. So they did hospital benefits, they did benefits for preserving the old Antebellum homes in Lancaster, they did vaccination drives, they made sure the sidewalks got repaired, the streets got paved, they attended city council meetings. This was a core of civic leadership.>>> A book from Brian Alexander on the city of Lancaster Ohio. An interview with and NPR program. [npr.org] No, it's not for every today's woman with the entrapment of the ending story in his book or the city of Lancaster. But there is still a presence and desire for some women who feel the urge to serve society in this nature.

I've always been independent and career minded. Had a baby at 42 after raising 12 year old with cp. Worked part-time with baby. You could be a home health care worker-some agencies will pay for LNA -licensed nurse asst, you could work in a day care center-its easy to pick up skills. Have faith in yourself.

Well, I'm gonna be called a misogynist for this, even though I believe this only applies to the woman that I want, I could care less about what other women do who aren't mine.

I do believe in traditional roles. A man should be the bread winner and a women should take care of the household after they have had children. Why should I work all day and then have to come home and take care of the house? If taking care of the kids and house are too much, maybe she shouldn't have wanted to be a stay at home mom? Go out, get a good job and I'll stay at home, I think it's pretty easy. Was with a lazy girl once who only worked 20h a week, she left the house destroyed and let her kids do whatever. After working all day I'd take care of the kids and clean the house. Guess what? They never made a mess while I was there, because why? Discipline and actually watching them instead of letting them do whatever the hell they wanted to. Not something I'd ever go back to, I'm not gonna bust my ass all day at a good paying job just to come home and play maid. So ya, get a good job and kids can go to day care and we can split the chores, otherwise if you're not gonna work a real job then you best keep the house in order at all times.

Just my 2 cents.