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Why can't a man have a friendship with a women like he does with another man? My best friend and I, we are both straight men, spend time together at each other's home, go out to eat together, go nightclubing together, travel together, camp together, enjoy each other company. I would enjoy having a female friend to enjoy those things with.

jlynn37 8 June 26
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36 comments (26 - 36)

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1

I have a few too few of such female friends. It makes appreciation of them so much greater knowing how rare they are. One in particular is a best friend relationship as close as it gets without sexual intimacy.

We once had it as well but mutually recognized some differences in living and outlook that weren't a 'fit' at that level.

We are afflicted by religiously and patriarchally based social canon and erroneous notions that prevent both formation and salvation of close heterosexual, platonic friendships.

Barriers can be overcome with honest examination and refusing to allow others who are not part of the friendship to interfere. It's no easy task for those who've already succombed to being 'saddled' and branded.

Agreed.

1

Some can. There is no reason why not.

1

Good Luck in your search.

1

It’s not so much an issue, I just don’t think it’s all to common. I typically see it as men like to spend time with people they have the most in common with and can identify with, other men. While it’s not impossible for women to be included in that, I think men just enjoy the company of someone who isn’t so opposite of them.

Adam7 Level 4 June 27, 2018
1

Only with gay men have I ever truly experienced a "platonic" friendship.
True story.

Qualia Level 8 June 26, 2018
1

Good question. The parties involved have to make the relationship clear from the beginning and admit if there are any attractions other than platonic.

1

I think it is only natural for men and women to find some ‘more than friends’ attraction to each other. Obviously sometimes it’s felt more by one than the other. But yes. It’s important to communicate early and as often as required to ensure one is not misenturputing something from the other if one is not interested if becoming more intimate.

1

I thank everyone for their input to my question.

1

I think if you would have a female friend, one of you will think about a relationship

You are right and that is why I posed the question. Why.

0

I am not sure I understand why you want a female friend particularly for the things you list. Does the friend being female make it better or different? Is the difference because of gender and not because of different personalities?
Personally, my closest friends are all male (I am male). I have female friends, but not very close! Often I get attracted to them and know that they are unavailable and so I maintain a distance. If I don't get attracted to them, there is probably not enough between us to maintain a close friendship. I think that is how it works for me, but I might be wrong.

As stated elsewhere, I prefer females to males for anything and everything.

@Petunias maybe my english is not good and there is perhaps a misunderstanding here. For me attraction does not mean it is physical only or biological as you put it. I am attracted to a person, not a body. So, I would be attracted to someone who has similar values and interests as I do and I think these are also what makes close friends. As you rightly point out personality can outweigh physical attraction and I have crushed on few friends because of who they are rather than how they look. As I said they are unavailable and I don't want to get too involved. I don't know whether that clarifies it, but I think the confusion is due to assuming attraction is always physical.
A good follow up question would be - suppose I meet someone who has same values, interests etc. Am I capable of being close friends with them without being romantically attracted to them? I don't know.

0

My best friend of a little over a decade was inserprabe to me, and we of him. We had some diferent of opinion on some some subgests, be always we didn't have a problem with the differences of what might be. we valudude what we had in common rather than argeuing over some trivial bullshit. He died a few years ago and Couldn't find another that could fill his shoes.

Iv'e made some rather great friends over the last few years, and I am greatful for those that I have met. but I still hasve judgedment on others that I meet because I still compair them to my old best friend.

I know I need to let go and get on with my life,.. But its hard sometimes. real honestly and the bonding really is hard to fill those shoes.

@TristanNuvo I can relate 😟 My best friend died almost 16 years ago and can never be replaced.

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