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Why I'm no longer asked to make cookies for the church bake sale ... 😉

evestrat 8 Jan 2
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84 comments

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44

Just tell the priest that it's an altar boy…

LMAO

You made my day.

29

Now that is bondage! LOL! 50 Shades of Gingerbread?

The safe word is: "Can't catch me."

A little advice: "Giddy-up" is a really bad choice for a safe word.

I'm going to go with nom as a gingerbread man safe word.

Got me excited.
Yet, so does the wind blowing.

HAHAHA

@FuckReligion You guys never cease to make my day a little better.

14

I don't get it! What's so bad about a clown in his underwear with his overall straps crossed and wears a lot of jewelry?

Is it the underwear thing?

I think it's all the bling. Materialism, ya know?

13

I'd like to see what the gingerbread house looks like!

@evestrat Is this a bad time to admit I read the "50 Shades" trilogy? It's probably never a good time to reveal that.

12

Oooooh Nooooooo! I’m Mr. Sluggo’s bitch!

11

My cookies would make the day of a few parishioners

9

Me neither.

Ludo Level 7 Apr 4, 2018

I take it those are supposed to be jesus's hands, but all I can think of is that monster from Pam's Labyrinth.

Those cookies look crucifixion-licious.

8

This reminds me of a former neighbor who used to make anatomically correct gingerbread people for the holidays. They were fantastic.

8

Oh my kinky friend HAAHAHAHHAAAH

8

Did you remind the pastor of a time that he wanted to forget

7

For the poster and the commenters. I like you people 🙂

7

I can't see the problem

it's just a sweet biscuit and better than kiddy fiddling

6

Hilarious!!!!! I suppose the butt plug is hidden!!

Perhaps the cookie is meant to double as a butt plug?

6

something similair happened here

I want one of those.

6

That's one way of getting out of it.

Gohan Level 7 Jan 12, 2018
6

That must have went over real good with the church bake sale LMAO

6

Sad the Church frowns on the finger licking good

jeffy Level 7 Jan 8, 2018
5

good for you. now you can use that time for something that is more meaningful to you even if in the beginning that becomes making cookies for the nearby homeless people or the local girl scout troop fund raiser. suddenly you have more truth in your life and that is always a good thing. enjoy that truth!!

5

Bahahahahahaha!

5

LOL

4

I have a funny story from my childhood that relates to kinky desserts!
I'm a military brat and as a young teen my dad was stationed in Naples Italy. The base is a "Support Activity".... Basically to support U.S. ships when they are in port.

My scout troop desperately needed new tents. We had huge heavy canvas tents that were possibly British surplus from the days of Lawrence of Arabia. They had buttons instead of zippers! AMISH TENTS!!!

The tents sucked and my dad scored the troop a good deal on some modern lightweight tents from someone like Eddie Bauer or L.L. Bean. Problem was it was still a lot of money for the 15, 20, or more tents they wanted us to buy for the big discount. The tents were a pretty steep investment for the troop.

Of course someone floated the idea of bake sale.

We could sell homemade goodies to the young homesick sailors down at the docks heading back to the USS Saratoga or USS Kennedy after their shore leave!!!

Honestly, I can't remember who's mom was the crafty one, but when everyone else showed up with brownies, cupcakes, and cookies..... One mom showed up with cakes shaped like female torsos, complete with 3d cake boobies. Pinkish icing for skin, and bikinis of various colors.

There was a furious bidding war for the cakes. The moms recognized the gold mine!!! I mean there are like 4000 guys on a carrier!
All the moms learned how to make the "babe" cakes.... And some were even given nude icing jobs!!! Use your imagination, but sailors could pick brunette or blonde cakes!

The 6th fleet paid for our new tents in short order!!! Boy Scouts of America TransAtlantic Council Troop 007's new tents... paid for with 'nudie' cakes!

Her hubby must have spent a whoooole lot of time at sea.

@EricJones Haha! You know, I grew up naive of how many military wives cheated on husbands, etc.
I had a shocking conversation with my folks years ago about some of the folks they knew! Swinger parties, women that had 'friends' when the husband was on deployment, etc.
My parents assure me it was a lot wilder during the Viet Nam days when I was a kid. My mom said "Oh yeah, there were a lot of parties we didn't go to because of that stuff! Drug parties and swinger/sex parties!" My mind was blown!

@Quattrostagione Vietnam was right at the time of the "counter culture" height so the wild parties would fit with the times. My stepfather served in Korea and came home to a baby that wasn't his.

4

I never get asked even at work because they know I have Celiac Disease and multiple food allergies. My coworkers think I'll bring cardboard. I brought gluten free chocolate brownies without soy, and no one knew they were my recipe until I told them... After they ate all of them!

4
3

I Wonder what the ginger bread man's save word is?????

"emmmm." He has a gag ball in his mouth.???

3

Had it been made of another material we could've dubbed it "50 shades of Clay!" Oh Nooooooo ....

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