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What Is one thing I can do to improve or to make my profile more appealing to women? : ) thanks!

JohnINFP 7 July 6
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28 comments

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10

Use a picture of Brad Pitt. I'm going to use Clooney.

7

Perhaps read some of the bios of the ladies on here, see what there is about you that they like and emphasize those things.

6

John, tell us what appeals to you, and that would appeal to women who share your passions. I know you love music and movies. You include that in your profile but you should focus on those things you love. Passion and love for things are contagious. Be contagious. Then everything else doesn’t matter. None of us is perfect; we all have our shortcomings. But it’s what you make with your life no matter what that really tells us who you are. From what I’ve known of you, you are a good kind man. Show us what makes you happy, that’s all I’m saying.

That smile in your profile pic. That is a good start. Go with that. (And I just noticed what you added to your profile ?)

Love it! Thanks! I appreciate you for putting so much effort and detail into your caring advice! I apologize for taking so long to reply. Been busy.

6

Way too long....too much irrelevant stuff. Short and sweet is much preferred.
The first relevant fact a woman reads is that you earn $13,000 per year. That's $250 per week. Women crave security...$250 per week doesn't pay for much. IMO many women quit reading here. Forget the income disclosure...emphasize your charming personality and sense of humor.

You’re making an assumption that a woman isn’t making her own money. I do crave security, and I provide that for myself.

Having said that, I agree with the rest of your comment.

And the fourth man to bring up the money angle .

I agree with you.

Income and financial stability in myself and my partner matters to me.

I am independent and support myself fully.

I do not consider myself shallow, superficial or high maintenance.

However, like I said here months ago, having grown up in poverty and paying my dues so to speak as a single mom for many years, the last thing I want is somebody who will be dependent on me to carry the load for any entertainment, dining, traveling, etc., etc. I like doing those things and I intend to keep doing those things.

I would want a partner who makes about as much as I make or more.

Everybody who has said here, and in other threads, that it doesn’t matter how much somebody makes as long as they are a good person is not speaking for all people.

I don’t feel bad that I have no desire to couple up with somebody who barely makes enough to pay rent or mortgage and not much else. I have zero doubt that I am not the Lone Ranger in this mindset—males and females included.

I understand completely. I think it is smart to find a partner who can contribute ....not someone you will have to support. If you have children you probably have to help them out at times...no need for another mouth to feed. @BlueWave

Money is an important ingredient of any relationship. @Cast1es

You understand the situation.....@jorj

Of course in this age, women are making money to support themselves....but do you want to support a man besides yourself and perhaps your children? @HariT

Thanks!

5

Provide less information and throw in a comment saying "if you want to know more... message me" or "just ask" or something to get the conversation going

Thanks!

5

I can't read your profile because it gives me a headache (punctuation and paragraphs are your friend). What I did read is, in my opinion, irrelevant in a profile. You can talk about your education when you actually meet someone, or just say you graduated high school/some college. That also includes your yearly income.

Talking about your yearly income...... It's a HUGE turnoff to a woman (well, me. can't talk about anyone else) to know a person's income no matter if they make $13,000 or $130,000 a year. It makes you either look superficial or looking for a sugar mama (depending on which side of the income you're on). Also, don't hide your depression, but don't immediately mention it before they actually get to know you. I have Borderline personality but you don't see it in my profile. I want a person to not have that preconception before they even meet me.

Have your likes and dislikes, but I wouldn't go into great detail. Just put enough to give the woman a chance to see if she wants to find out more about you.

Keep your humor in the profile, but try not to go over the top with it. Women want to know you have one, not that it controls you.

Good luck with your search.

The only lady talking about the money - says don't post it .

@Cast1es I agree—don’t post it no matter what it is.

4

Get rich.

godef Level 7 July 7, 2018

16 to 18 I was getting there. Now either lottery, which I never play or inheritance, which would probably be 20 years or more, when I'm 70ish. Lol

4

Others have said essentially the same thing, but I'll express it thusly: Less history, more mystery.

Thanks!

3

Penis pictures 😛

Nope!

Sure, so when I inevitibly piss her off, she can send them to Kim Kardashian on Facebook and Twitter so they spread like wildfire. Lol

3

Not sure what to tell you. I have on my profile that I'm not interested in dating, I had enough of that in my younger years. Now I'm all about good conversation. I was very happy to find this place with like minded people. I've been a member of quite a few blog sites, made some good friends. but most of the time when I posted about evolution, god, religion etc. the comments always turned into a troll fest. Here I don't get that. here almost all of the people I've met are very kind, even if they might disagree.

Yes, I agree!

3

I had one other thought...’live who you are’ and there will be no need to advertise everything about you!

With all due respect, my whole life I've heard people say you should 'be yourself'. Girlfriends didn't seem to like me doing that. Even on here, I've always been myself to a fault. Alot of people haven't liked that.

@JohnINFP well...they should find someone made in their own image...apparently! You want someone that accepts each person as he/she is...and appreciates that! Otherwise, you would be forever swimming up stream, warn out before your time! Now, if you know what your dark side is (we all have one), you might shine some light there and make ‘that’ better!

3

First line is great but then the next paragraph is one long blurt of everything you can think to say with the depression shining through. I'd jump to the sentence starting "If asked if I'm religious..." and cut it off before "...some of my favorites" Now round it out with whatever you wish in a new paragraph but under no circumstances use the phrase " I'm down to earth, laid back with good sense of humor." which most women take as code for boring. An encouragement to contact you to learn more never hurts.

Kimba Level 7 July 6, 2018

Nice writing skills, just saying

2

Too many words, and delete 95% of the TMI "clinical" info too.
You sound nice, and honest to a fault, but think if you would contact a woman who let all that out........?

Thanks!

2

No creo en Dios!! Whew! You're bio is way too much. Save it for when you meet someone. For now keep it short and honest.

Thanks!

2

I find it interesting that with so much feedback, JohnINFP has not responded to anyone nor has he made any changes to his profile.

Hihi Level 6 July 7, 2018

Been a little busy. I'm going to work on it. Writing was never my strong suit.

2

You asked... Negative space in your writing. Less info. New (or used) clothes that fit you better. I think that should do it.

@maturin1919 I do, too. ?

July 7th? How do you post in the future? This is what you do with a time machine?!!

Thanks!

2

I found that the necklace of 100$ bills I wore worked.

Like I just commented , it's a man thing ....

I'll have to try that. I've still got a few of those. Lol

@Cast1es well, I'm just trying to figure women out what women want. Maybe you all don't want us to do that. I'm so confused. Lol

2

I like your honesty but trim it down a bit 🙂

MsAl Level 8 July 6, 2018

Thanks! It's nice to know that someone likes my honesty. That's rare.

2

Just say you have a lot of money. Sorry ladies. Men are pursued for their money as much as women are pursued for their looks. Aristotle Onasis was a crook and looked like a sick Pillsbury dough boy, but Jackie Kennedy married him and even admitted, the money he had was part of it. Mick Prune Face Jagger just had his 8th kid with his 5th lady at the age of 75. His girlfriend is 30. What would possess a beautiful 30 year old ballet dancer to have a kid with the 75 yo Mick?
One guess.

Um, no

Rich men scare me... Unfortunately. I wouldn't know what to do with one.

And this is the third a man to bring up the money angle , but I don't see women asking for that info .

I believe that your general premise would prove to be true were it studied, although undoubtedly not in quite such black and whiteness.

While I would not be interested in coupling with somebody living paycheck to paycheck wondering from where the next tank of gas is coming, if you give me two people and let’s say for shits and giggles the kinder, more perfect person makes $90,000 a year, and the arrogant but seemingly more desirable person makes $200,000 a year, I would still choose the kinder person who makes less—even if he is as unattractive as Mick Jagger.

But, for me and I have zero doubt millions of other people, somebody making barely enough to pay the bills won’t even make it to my radar as a possible mate.

I have honestly seen a gorgeous woman's profile in the Houston area who's profile 'jokingly' said to not contact her unless you made $400k annually. I showed co-workers. A few guys agreed with me... "Her list of deal-breakers sound and are written like jokes, but she is serious!"
Others were laughing "No way she is being serious!"

A few months later it went down to 300k. Then 250k. Then 200. Clearly she was serious.

(She also said you have to be Jewish, or willing to convert!)

Oh, very sad!!

@pepperjones Hilarious! The honesty!

@BangkokBette Yup, alot of the rich guys are bad and very bad. That's how many of them get rich in the first place. Bad boys and players.

@pepperjones You have proved my point on all 3 issues. I know that many woman equate a man's height with how handsome he is. I've heard that all my life from everywhere. I've been called short all my life. It doesn't bother me anymore. I only need one woman who likes my height. Many women I've known truly don't even care. I even dated a woman for a long time. who was 5'6", she didn't even care. She was attracted to me for other reasons. That's why I put them at the top. If I didn't post that I have depression or little money, a woman that initially liked me, but couldn't deal with these things, would be pissed with me if I hadn't been honest and up front. If a woman did that to me, I would be pissed. I saved you and me precious time by you knowing my exact height. I know that's a top issue fo many women. That's why I put it at the top. Saves the woman's time . Saves me time. : ) Were you honest in your bio about YOUR exact height requirements in feet and inches? Many women are doing that. Wouldn't that save you lots of time?

@Cast1es But, don't women really eventually want to know your man's income, no matter how subtle you are about finding out? And I think sometimes it's when some women make that decision. I bought my last girlfriend many nice things that she wanted for a couple of years. One day, when I told her I had run out of extra spending money she immediately walked out my door. I know many women don't tell men these things. Maybe for fear of being labeled a goldigger.

2

Posts like this doesn't help. I know you said profile but, they could read this.

1

Just be yourself. Don't lie, or say anything about yourself that is untrue. Post good pictures that show your face.

Thanks!

1

To BlueWave below, as a general premise, women being attracted to guys with money has been studied ad nauseum by anthropologists and other scientists, so this isn't my premise. The guy with the most chickens or pigs is preferred by the ladies because it is believed he is the best provider for her and her children, which Jackie Kennedy admitted to. The women's genes nudges her to choose the guy with the resources because the genes are more likely to get into the next generation.

When I was in 1st or 2nd grade, I had a crush on a girl. So I asked some women in my family 'what do girls want'. One said 'MONEY!'. So, I proceeded to gather all my coins and put them in an envelope. I brought them to school. When I was in my bus line I jumped up and ran across to the other side of the gym. I risked missing my bus. Right before I almost made it to where she was, I leaned down near her and the envelope popped open. I spilled them all over the gym floor. I couldn' even talk, to tell her what I was doing, because I was so nervous. I felt so humiliated. I looked so crazy.

1

It takes time and meeting a lot of people! And, I think...of top importance is to be having a good time while you are looking! I am using my friend who was on a serious search...she had great fun and just envolved herself at places where singles would be and did the ‘online’ thing! I must admit i do not have the energy to do it the way she does...so it might take longer for some people! She now has two ‘suitors’ and needs to commit, so now another kind of problem! Good luck!

Thanks!

1

Say you're a closeted nudist that likes to wear clothes. Works all the time ?

Qiru Level 6 July 6, 2018

Hilarious! Thanks! I'm going to add that one right now!

1

I do think you need to keep your profile to a paragraph or two, and that’s it. A quick synopsis of your likes and quirks. Simple is always better.

HariT Level 4 July 6, 2018

Thanks!

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