In person I am Nice and Pleasant to everyone... Everyone.

Here’s the 3 best ways I’ve dealt with it:

1. I told them I was running late for work, but if they came back in two hours my roommate would be all about it. You should know that he was a grouchy prick that slept til 3pm everyday. Sure enough, they came back. He was pissed.

2. I asked “if that book is the words of god, wouldn’t you want to just give it to me instead of selling it to me ?” The lady grinned, knowing exactly what I was doing and politely left.

3. While getting drunk watching basketball, two 19yo morman kids wanted to talk , so invited them in and offered them beer. Two hours later, they left with doubt and concern. It’s as if I ruined Christmas forever.

A lot of people like to be rude to these folks, I think it’s funnier to be honest with them and perhaps get a rare experience from them by doing something they don’t anticipate. That’s just me, captain smart-ass.

wearing your Satanic Temple tshirt... either that or wearing nothing and acting completely casual about it

'Why are there no dinosaurs in the bible?'

For Jehovah's Witnesses, I have three sentences in my back pocket:

"I don't believe in an invisible being that resides somewhere beyond the clouds."

"We are ALL atheists here," I say with a sweeping wave to include the entire neighborhood.

"At age four, I stopped having imaginary friends, like the Tooth Fairy, Santa Claus or an invisible deity."

This shuts them up. While they puzzle, I smile, say goodbye and shut the door.

Jehovah's Witnesses don't knock on my door anymore. Perfect.

I peek around the door and tell them I'm naked and it's not a good time. Lol.

When I lived in England I lived on a hill and could see them coming down the road so I made sure I opened the door to engage in some healthy debate. My wife would chastise me for being pedantic!

I politely ask them to leave my property, and refuse any handouts.

There is always a part of me that wants to say, Look you stupid asshole, your bible is shit, your religion is shit. Do yourself a favor and go read a Science book.

But in real life I'm just not that way, I'm usually fairly polite and just tell them that religion may work for you, but it's not for me. I am an Atheist, and just walk away.

However, if some one won't leave me alone and won't let it go, I'll hit them with some facts, and ask them some questions about the bible that I know that they won't have a good answer.
I'd rather plant seeds than just push my Atheism.

I always tell them I believe in science not fiction.. then close the door while they try to process that.

I don't answer the door anymore for strangers. My wife, if irritated by the doorbell, let's Zorak the Wonder Dog deal with it.

Dunno

I don’t engage. I am never rude, but I am firm and tell them I believe in science not science fiction.

only happened once i was 9 and its the 1st time i remember my grandma swearing if it happened now i honestly have no idea how i would react

It's usually Mormon's. I had two women knock on the door. I ask them the most Brazzer questions.

Is it true only 144,000 men make it to heaven and no Women.
The ladies, yes that is true.
The best Mormon men can own their own planet with 33 beautiful babes as wives.
Ladies.. yes, that is true

Last ? Would not want to join another Religion that treat women better.
Silent

blasting death metal beer in hand and talking about quantum physics a

What colour were adam and eve?

I open the door.

I find out they want to convert me.

I close the door.

The last time I was visited by a pair of JW maidens, I opened my door wearing my low cut skivvies, upon which they gasped and left without peddling their ware.

I start out by telling them I'm a non-practicing Jew, then i tell them about how i studied world religions at the Jesuit run Loyola College in Montreal when i was about 20 (true), and i close by sharing my current Agnostic views on God and organized religions. The last one makes them almost run for the hills. I love to have fun with them. LLOL Especially on rainy days when i have nothing to do but play at home.

You tell them anything that strikes you as funny...you are a Satanist, Buddhist, pagan, because the goal is to get rid of them plus you didn't invite them onto your porch. Toughen up!

Answer the door in a Halloween Mask of Satan. That will fuck with their little brains.

Are they really trying to convert you? Or is it just that missionary work is something that their church requires and they really don't care if you convert or not? I tend to assume the latter and try not to be rude but to tell them thanks, but no thanks and to save their pamphlet or whatever for the next guy because I am really not going to read it and it will just go into the trash. I have never had anyone push it, at least not at my front door.

I'm usually polite, but also short and direct. Get off my lawn!!!!

Just waiting for the day have the 12 gage all ready.