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You work in healthcare, you are about to be fully responsible for the life of a patient in surgery for hours. Your patient has pastor and family in room before going to OR. Pastor asks you to join them in a prayer to help the surgery along. Everyone joins hands in a prayer circle. What do you do?

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thatgirllaura 5 July 24
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46 comments

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0

I do work in healthcare and I have had this situation,
You show respect and compassion for the family and join in.
This isn’t about our beliefs. It’s about a group of people that are scared. We are the professionals and it’s our job to guide explain and help.

This scenario is nothing compared to what we deal with on a daily basis. Shit a large amount of the things I’ve read on the different boards here defy logic and common sense.

We have have different ways we interpret the environment around us: odd beliefs or rituals, religious ideals, social habits. None of us are guilt free of such things. Why be so critical of someone wanting to pray?

Hell yes I’ll join in, because it’s considerate to the family. They are scared shitless and rightfully so. It’s our job in healthcare and if that’s confusing or a problem then do something else for a living.

0

I'll hold hands, nothing else.

0

“I respectfully decline.”

Hermit Level 7 July 25, 2018
1

Almost all these comments, 57 as I write this, are supportive of the partient and their family. How wonderful it is to see this and how proud it makes me to be a member of this group!

2

I have been in this predicament many times. You have to finesse the situation in the moment. I stood by passively during prayer when I was a young Neonatal Intensive Care nurse -- out of respect and empathy for the family with a dying infant. Now, I don't do that -- different circumstances: fairly healthy, adult patient population with lower level of acuity yet over-the-top drama. I respectfully decline to participate. I don't discuss religion or politics with patients. It's a no-win for me. Sometimes it's a fine balance to deliver care while holding on to your integrity and autonomy.

0

Let Jesus guild the knife of the Doctor and then let him steal your soul.

Not!!!

3

Since that person is in healthcare and prepping a patient for surgery, it might be easy to glance at watch and bow out due to "preparation tasks". Or, join in and think about naughty sexy things. Their praying or my joining in doesn't effect my atheism, though I do see where one might be uncomfortable about perpetuating an untrue assumption about one's self. I'd feel that way. But when others are worried about life or death surgery, I think what they need at that moment is more important than my own needs.

1

Say "we will do our best. I must get to surgery now."

Holli Level 6 July 25, 2018
0

You say, ok ill go get your Mom. You have your god and prayers so there's no need of us. Have a nice day.

0

Been reading through some of the responses. I'm kind of surprised so many people are willing to "go along" with the delusions of others.
No wonder we can't get the influences of religion out of our lives.
Too few people are willing to tell these people "No, thank you".
The setting and situation doesn't matter.

2

Participate in the ritual. It certainly won't harm you. Giving comfort to patient, their kin, and as a team building ritual..... do it.

I disagree. I believe it is very harmful.
It helps to perpetuate delusion and them thinking it's okay to impose their bullshit on others. Their "comfort" is not more important than my principles.

@KKGator
I'm fine with your opinion KK. It's a personal choice.

2

Tell them that I cannot join them since I need to scrub and prep for the proceedure.

If I wanted to be real snarky I might add .... so that I can undo the damage your god's will has done to you.

Or
Thanks but you really don't need to pray to me or call me god. I am going to do my best and I will use all the scientific principals at my disposal to make my patient better.

0

I'm really tired of believers thinking everyone is as delusional as they are, and expecting complete strangers to participate in their delusional rituals.
I do not respect their beliefs and I'm not going to be forced to pretend that I do, regardless of the circumstances.
Enough already.

2

This one touches a sore spot of mine as I actually work in healthcare with many amazing people. Through our work we save many many lives every day. So very often we have to hear relatives thank God, their pastor and their prayers instead of us and science. The credit is taken away from the “miracle of science” and from the amazing and relentless effort of healthcare providers, to be given to the “power of prayer” and a fantasy friend in the sky. I respect people’s freedom to hold their beliefs, but I can’t take part in what I find a disrespectful practice that violates the enormous amount of effort, studying, humiliation, sacrifice, perseverance, endurance, sweat and blood that brought me and other healthcare clinicians and providers to where we are. Praying with families is not something I can support. I can’t listen to them address me and say “may God guide your hand”, or “God made you what you are to accomplish his mission on his behalf”, or “God gave you the strength”. We healthcare providers do it all on our own and nobody else should take credit for it on our behalf. Our jobs are stressful and ridiculously taxing. We work long hours. We seldom get sufficient sleep. When a firefighter or a cop risks his/her life to save other lives, they are called heroes and rightly so. The credit goes to them, their bravery, and their selflessness. Not God.

I don’t pray with families.

Uh-uh

2

My goal is to heal people, even misled ones. In that light I go along and try to make the patient and family as calm and hopeful as possible.

That’s right! Good for you.

@darthfaja Thanks, but that was a hypothetical, I'm not actually in healthcare. I work in operations management for healthcare support software. I don't have it in me to actually work in the healthcare industry.

6

Stand quietly and respectfully. Life and death outweigh my personal feelings.

2

This is easy. It is a trying time for the family. Go along, there are other places to draw the line. They are doing this out of love for their family member, and for you. It is a part of their faith that has merit. Love is a gift. Accept it.

4

I had a Catholic boyfriend five or so years ago, and Christmas dinner got super awkward. When we all sat down to eat, his aunt passed out this rice paper stuff.. Body of Christ yada yada yada. I shoved mine under my plate, thinking no one would notice. Holy shit, when we got in the car to go home, my ex bf was pretty upset. He said, what's the big deal? Why couldn't you just go with it, if you don't believe in it, what's the difference??

I asked, "If I handed you a cup full of the blood of Satan, would you drink it? " That's not the same thing at all, was his response. Uh, no. It kinda definitely is the same thing. Needless to say, we weren't together very long. Now, if the same thing happened, I feel like I've grown enough to just go ahead and eat it. It's weird and culty in my opinion, but it's just rice paper.

So yeah, I'd join hands out of respect for the family. Prayer isn't really all that difficult to deal with. We roll our eyes, but if that's what someone needs to be comfortable... And I'm being paid a surgeons salary... Just join hands and bow your head. You won't burst into flames ? However, I'd keep my eyes open like I always do in this situation. Somehow that makes me feel better about it.

2

I think, and maybe you have found this in your experience, that you go with the flow to give the family comfort. Bowing your head and closing your eyes and wishing you never have to do this again. I'm also happy to see that it seems the correct choice of many people here. There is a difference between not believing and not giving comfort to people. For instance, I don't do death. Funerals bother me, they also tend to be religious, but sometimes you have to suck it up to give comfort to others.

lerlo Level 8 July 25, 2018
6

I feel like regardless of your religious or spiritual views, it’s simply a small act of kindness to just bow your head and close your eyes and allow your patient some peace of mind

7

I work in a catholic organization. I've been there. This is a pragmatic decision. Let them have their superstition. Hold hands. Wish them well. Make sure it doesn't affect the procedure. Move on.

Doing anything against the family's wishes would be a genuine dick move. If you aren't in spiritual care, praying isn't your responsibility either. Balance the best you can.

One of the best experiences about being an atheist is that you aren't tied to a dogma. You can do what is right as the situation calls. Not limited to only one right or wrong answer.

CK-One Level 6 July 25, 2018
0

Explain i am there to do a job and that is and shouldnt get distracted from it politely whilst in my head think get the feck put of my way and let me concentrate on the important shit

Simon1 Level 7 July 25, 2018
1

I would hold hands, but l wouldn't bow my head.

3

Either you do it respectfully as it’s a small comfort for a patient that’s possibly dying, will be dead, or is going through tremendous pain. Or, if you are that staunchly against prayer, graciously bow out and wait until they are done.

I was a combat medic in the Army and a lot of my infantry buddies found religion when they were being shot at or being blown up. I only ever lost one soldier. I never knocked them for it because it’s a scary thing. If it brings them a little peace, I don’t mind it.

Leo716 Level 6 July 25, 2018
4

Either join in or graciously decline. Its not about you it's about the patient

^This. Not the time to make a point. Attempting to do so just makes you look petty.

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