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Can men and women just be friends? Age-old and cliche rhetoric...
I am looking for people to hang out with and probably not ready for a romantic relationship after a recent divorce. I'm literally going to meetup.com looking for people to hang out with. Can you do stuff with members of the opposite sex as friends?

UrsiMajor 8 July 31
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81 comments (26 - 50)

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2

I think this captures it.

These are just kids not really men or women....all that is called for is a little maturity

Why does the possibility of having sex or having had sex preclude being friends? The fact that if the woman wanted sex at some point does not mean you could no longer be friends does it? And many of the women have friends that they don’t have sex with, even though they could, meaning the guys are not pushing it either. Are female friends less friends just because at some point in time you could have a sexual relationship with them too?

2

I remember a very passionate man from Russia once telling me that friendship is impossible if there is sexual attraction. A French lady taught me otherwise many years later and some Chinese ladies made the question appear quite ludicrous.
Turn the question around and ask whether lovers can be friends.
In this question there is a religious undertone. Friendship becomes idealized almost immaculate.
Consequently sex potentially tarnishes the friendship. It is not the sex but the way we perceive sex as a claim to ownership thus the feelings of jealous when that friend also has sex with others.

2

Absolutely! I have more male friends than females. Sometimes I go through a slight crush phase at first but it's actually pretty clear who is friend material & who isn't.

Carin Level 8 Aug 1, 2018
2

Yes, it seems to work well for me. I have one friend/neighbor that is a bit younger than me, 47. We do things like swim down by the river, go to parties, have a glass of wine on the patio, play tennis, go to breakfast. We have been friends for about 5 years. Sometimes I help her with things around the house. We cook meals for each other. Usually she likes dumping on me her frustrations with men. I'm a good listener I suppose. I have no desire to date her since at this point it would feel kind of weird and we live to close together. And I don't want to ruin a good friendship. I have another gal, age 50, that I met in Meetup. We meet for pizza and wine and she has invited me to functions like Parade of homes, wine tastings, walks down by the river. We get along well and no pressure to date. Again, she seems to like having someone to listen to her frustrations. I'm good with it. I suppose I tend to get along better with women.

2

I think it is nice to have friends men so that you will understand men that you have passed a relationship ended with divorce can be more cautious in the next times and look good man who understand you ?

2

I have plenty of women friends. Why not?

2

Yes. Once you hit the mid 60s in age.

2

Most of my friends have been women my whole life.

2

For me, I find it very difficult to just be friends with a woman that I'm very attracted to. ?

2

I have been asked to be friends with benefits and I have a couple male friends but making just friends that are single I believe it can happen. Isn't that what happens on this site?

Rose2U Level 7 July 31, 2018
2

I can, have, and do.

2

That is all I am looking for. Just friends to enjoy spending time with and some activities we would both want to do together. Seems like almost an impossibility.

2

Yes - its a hard thing to tell someone that you really like them as a friend but that "chemistry" that would lead to something more --- is just not there. But it can and does happen. Just have to put yourself out there and realize that there will always be guys that will want more than friendship....in the end its up to them to either accept what you're offering or ----move on.

2

Yes..

Buddha Level 8 July 31, 2018
2

Of Course.

Coldo Level 8 July 31, 2018
2
2

Yes you can, I have several female friends whom I attended events with and text, talk on phone with and we're not I'm no way romantically involved. It's easy once the people involved know that the relationship is simply platonic and you're comfortable with them and enjoy their company and friendship

2

Yes you can. Both have to be comitted to give you the time for as long you need to. I just left your area. May be back for Turkey Day for few days. But it is posible for an intelligent man to recognize that you are looking for healing, recharge your batteries, reinvent yourself, rest and relax without any pressure to your feelings. You need to breathe that aroma of freedom. Yes you can and if the man don't understand that... not a good friend.... Good Luck.

1

Hang out with couples. Hang out with gay men. If you're attractive and unattached, unattached men will assume you're available and begin to court you. Most will lose interest if and when they discover you're unavailable.

truth

1

And no I don't think so.

1

Being recently divorced, take the time to heal before jumping back in the dating scene. 1 to 2 years. It's not easy but helpful.

great advice

1

yes but if Im not dating them, I'd prefer to hang with my gf's and my gay male mates

1

Of course they can. I have ex-girlfriends who are still great friends of mine, not all but most, my ex-wife is still a friend, our divorce was very civilized, we always keep in touch even though she lives in Boston and I in WPB, Florida, our daughter studies in Montreal. I admit it was my fault, I had a one night stand in one of my constant trips overseas, this lady would not stop sending me emails and I was dumb enough to reply to all of them, and even though I never saw the woman in person ever again, my wife found the emails. Stupid mistake that ruined a 10 year marriage, but I did apologize profusely for all the hurt and recognized and accepted that it was my fault. Perhaps that is why we have always kept in touch, both of us remarried. You live and learn from your mistakes.

1

Of course. haven't you ever? i have always had friends of both genders (and some fluidly gendered people too). i don't fall in love with people just because they're there or available.

g

1
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