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All I normally post here are my insane ramblings. My twisted view of the world. My attempt at making people laugh.

I'm going to post something different tonight.

My youngest son (22 year old Maxon) has spent the last three days in the hospital.

I've felt fear before. I'm not a stranger to it. But, I've never felt any fear like this.

Sitting in a chair in an ER. Watching your child gasp for breath surrounded by a team of doctors and nurses asking each other questions and the only answer I hear repeatedly is "I don't know."

Really?!? I go through life with nothing more than an intent to make people feel good and bring laughter but, this is the shit that's returned to me.

"God" is a stupid concept and a ridiculous way to hope for healing.

I'm a fucking mess right now. And, it's not even a beautiful mess. It's more like slightly attractive chaos. Sort of like watching a campfire with a gas can in your hand. That's a fairly accurate description.

Maybe I deserve this bullshit but, my kid doesn't.

He deserves the chance to grow into becoming the asshole that I am.

So, if there is some "higher power", it's seriously fucked up.

I'm not going to pray. I'm not going to beg. I'm just going to wait. Hopefully science will figure this shit out.

Because religion isn't going to.

Duke 8 Aug 1
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28 comments

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1

Holding your hand....

1

How's your boy, Duke?

He's doing much better! I'll post an update soon.

3

So sorry Duke! I also hope science is able to help him!

2

I hope you guys are able to get the answers you need. Im so happy he is starting to improve.

6

Max is home today and finally starting to improve. He's not out of the woods yet but, he does have a couple of epi pens and a doctor appointment with our physician and another appointment with an allergy specialist. Both on Friday. I sincerely thank you all for you kind words of support here.

It beats the shit out of thoughts and prayers.

Duke Level 8 Aug 1, 2018

Sure thing bud, and that's some good news there.

So happy to hear he is better. Hugs to you all and big thanks to your medical team.

1

Hugs. I don't understand why you would think you deserve this. I'm trying to figure that one out for myself too but I can say with conviction that there is no god in the way he is portrayed in fairy stories. I'm not even certain about spirituality since I'm a total failure at human relationships. If there was god, I don't think he would allow all the pain and hurt in this existence. I don't believe there is some omnipotent being testing my faith. This is absolutely ridiculous. I hope you can find a way to come to terms with this and your son is okay.

2

I'm so sorry for this. I know how hard it is. There are so many great doctors out there. Just keep doing what you're doing. Sending love and light.

1

Duke. You've brought a shit load of happiness to a shit load of people and this isn't fair. Some of us can relate and even remember exactly what your feeling. We are all hoping for the best for you both.

2

I'm so sorry Duke. Hoping your medical team comes up with some good solutions. Hugs to you.

4

I hope that they will find a cure for him. As parents we want to be able to take their places if we could, we feel so helpless

3

Exactly what everyone else has said. It may not help but I am really thinking of the two of you.

5

There is no fear as great as the fear that you can't help your kids when their lives are threatened. Hang in there, medical science isn't perfect but it is good. He will always remember you were there for him. Keep us posted, we're here for you.

6

Being there counts. Not just in case he can sense your presence, but so health care professionals know their absolute best efforts mean very much to you. It shouldn't matter but it does: they're human.
Your posts are usually hilarious, btw.

6

Sorry to hear. Hang in there Duke. Just because they told you I don't know does not mean they don't have ideas. They are sparing you from the bad possibilities. Let them figure it out. Be supportive to your kid, he needs to be anchored to this world and reduce his stress.
(been there)

4

I'm so sorry man.

4

One of my little girls had a health scare this week. I couldn't sleep..I put my faith in science..what else could I do..

She is ok..everything is fine.

I hope your son is ok..and you will be too.
Sorry for your trouble Duke.

3

Oh my - so sorry ! It is such a tough situation to be in. We are with as best we can be in our little community. Hang in there with your son. Keep beside him. Hugs from us here.

Ohub Level 7 Aug 1, 2018
3

Duke, I am so sorry that you and your son are suffering. The feeling of helplessness is enraging. I can't do anything physically but if you want to talk, I'm here.

3

Have faith in science and doctor's intuition for now, and cross the next set of bridges when you come to them. One thing at a time, and hope for the best. You have a lot of people who are hoping with you that things will turn out okay for your son. At 22, hopefully he is strong enough to get through this. Our thoughts are with you.

4

I know there is nothing l can say that will make you feel better right now, but you and your son will be in my thoughts.

4

Let it all out. Vent all you need if you feel it helps.

3

I'm so very sorry to hear what you all are going through! Please keep us updated.

Carin Level 8 Aug 1, 2018
3

I feel for you.It's a horrible thing. When my youngest son was 3, he had open heart surgery. It was terrible, but everything came out okay in the end. I hope it does for you, as well.

5

Geez Duke no one deserves this. What is happening?

You can PM me anytime. Wish I could give you one hellova hug.

3

Damn man, yeah I know what it’s like to sit in the hospital waiting for your son to recover. I hope your outcome is better than mine was. Nothing I can say will be of any good.

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