I have learned that two things help me with online sites: 1) scroll past, 2) shut my mouth...I know what you mean, though...some people just need to hear themselves talk no matter what the subject matter...I like to pick my battles, and frankly, I think this site has less battles than most...I hope that your request is heeded...you are correct: we need more support and understanding than negativity and attacks...hang in there!

I agree with you. I always have agreed and advocated for more kindness and thoughtful communication.

I used to get frustrated when so many people would chime in with "Hmmmmm.....I don't ever see that."

Now, I can happily say that I rarely see that activity. The reason for that is that I don't have much tolerance for jerks. If they are a jerk for no other reason than to be a jerk (I'm NOT talking about merely disagreeing or stating an opinion), I block them. No shame about it.

I'm sure that most of the offenders you see doing the same ol' shit have been blocked by me, so I truly don't see much of it anymore. And, if I do -- I know where the block button is.

Screw that "scrolling on by...." stuff. I don't want to see their shit, period.

I'm in. We all complain the world isn't a very nice place, but all it takes is a little kindness and compassion and hey presto, it's a bit better.

Some people are just assholes. They have internet courage. I have given opinions on here only to be attacked when all I do is talk about the issue.

Totally agree we are a community and should support each other - my singles group supports its members. Just recently some of my members did a fundraiser and were attacked by another member. I expressed my displeasure with this member-she blocked me and others and may have left the site. I did not remove her. I was upset she attacked and made accusations to make my members feel uncomfortable. We are a family and treat our members as such.

I have definitely trolled a couple people haha, sometimes I just can't resist being a smartass. mostly to MRA/Trump types so using the term “people” loosely but still... I try to release that kinda angst slowly in small batches when I feel like theres a growing crop of ignorant old farts who Id prefer not to see that havent got the memo to avoid me yet. Then ill say something like “women of color should rise up and slay the 1% and sell their children into slavery.” ? n get the miserable bastards to save us both some time by blocking me. Im really only joking about the last part of that btw. But i digress, unless someone said something super ignorant, misinformed or judgy I tend not to ruffle my feathers though, and even then Id say I overlook or block 2/3 of em.

Ive had many long form conversations with people who either changed their mind or remained calm and rational enough to change my mind, or both of us respectfully agree to disagree, or one person just doesnt care enough to need the last word and things just peter out. The rather high percentages of debates that go that way is impressive to me. I don't think we’re more combative or defensive than the average crowd. If youre a conservative that hasnt blocked me yet, Im impressed by your thick skin.

But I also agree with you that we need to foster a more proactive love for each other in the community, and an enthusiasm for reaching out n seeing how each other is doing. Thats one of the few psychological benefits the church goers have over most of us. It does feel good to all assemble in a place where you know every person you walk up to will enthusiastically greet you and everyone has a vibe of being psyched up and rooting for each other in an ecstatic way. A good church community at least does that for each other and I agree; we should too.

I've not been here all that long.
But I can say that just about every one That I have got a reply or a comment from has been rather nice.
Even when we might disagree we are civil.
I've really only met one person here that was rather rude.
But otherwise, this is the only place I've really felt comfortable opening up and sharing what's on my mind.
It's like my new home.

I've been savaged for being tolerant. Can't deal. Shutting up about my goal of indiscriminate, unlimited compassionate loving-kindness. I'll take my open heart elsewhere--somewhere I can converse on the love vibe without arousing hatred in others. I'm not strong enough to deal with catalyzing that kind of negativity. Sorry, not sorry.
[m.phys.org]

To tolerate hate is to support it

I noticed this too, and agree a more communal attitude would help. But atheists do tend to be independent thinkers, instilling it may be like trying to herd cats.

Welcome to the internet

I keep seeing how quickly people I've made friends with here run to support their friends in times of trouble. It's way better then "Thoughts and Prayers".

There is definitely some back and forth on the boards - and sometimes there are trolls (but they get removed pretty quickly).

If you report the haters who break the site rules - they will get removed. Blocking protects you - reporting protects all of us.

I'm good with people having their own opinions if it doesn't turn to hate or name calling.

"An asshole do not stop being an asshole because stop believing in god. Hell, the aparent lack of believe is like cocaine, intensify the asshole personality." Hector said. I am with you, but you know that.

I’ve had a few negative reactions a here. Mostly dealing with politics. Which I normally completely avoid talking about because suddenly everyone has a degree in political science when all they are really doing is regurgitating what they saw on the news or on Facebook.

However, I concur. There are some toxic people here who should just be reported when they go on an aggressive attack. Disagreements are commons we all have them. However, when you start going off topic, threatening, or belittling someone because of their beliefs, you best belief I’m going to report them and seize all future communication with that person.

Too many people just let it go. If the community gets a little more proactive in reporting these toxic people, perhaps we could have a more pleasant community.

I've put a lot of thought into this since reading the post earlier today. I think that it's human nature for some people to just be jerks. Let me elaborate:

I used to think that it was just the overly-religious people who treated others poorly when they disagreed with someone. But there are a few shining examples of how (christians in particular) should behave, and I've been honored to know many of them. As I grew older, I joined the pagan community, and discovered that there was that 'militant' streak there as well. I never understood it, because in my view, they were acting as bad (if not worse) than the very people they thought they were better than. (Yes, that sentence structure hurts my head as well).

Sadly, I see the same level of 'militancy' in the Atheist/Agnostic community. That same inability to 'live and let live', mixed with some degree of arrogance and presumed superiority (we know something they don't). But it is a thread that seems to weave throughout all communities, races, religions, and even lack of religions.

It seems fewer and fewer people are able to just be kind, able to listen to hear and not just to respond, or able to empathize; but I don't believe that to be true. It only seems that way because the squeaky wheels get the most attention, while the rest of us either don't know what to say, or don't want to get involved (for whatever cornucopia of personal reasons).

Maybe we should be more vocal in our kindness, even when faced with those who are not exactly showing the best of themselves. Yes, it may make us a target too, but that quiet voice of love, compassion and empathy just needs a little more volume to be heard.

Spoken like a true level 8 er...

It is pretty simple for me. If a person is pro Trump, pro gun, against the legalization of pot, or into bashing the other gender, l will not hold back in my attack period. I will let them respond and then block them. I looked it up, and l have blocked 63 people. I am sure there will be more. I have been blocked by l don't know how many and l don't care. I blocked 2 this morning after telling them what l thought of them after their ignorant remarks about immigration and the treatment of those children. I will not be nice to these folks.To ignore them is tolerating their ideas. Shame on you if you do.

Because a smooth sea never made a skilled sailor.

There are times to be supportive but there are also times to be critical. I'll be honest I can definitely be considered harsh with some of my comments. I will say that I see much more support on this site than you seem to see.

The Spartans were one of the toughest and strongest military forces that has ever existed, and they threw physically unworthy children off a cliff. They had young boys taken from their families at early ages to train, encouraged bullying and fights, put them on public display naked to be mocked for their body, and told them as soldiers to come back victorious or dead. I'm not condoning any of that, but it is evidence that strength comes from struggle and I'd rather be strong than consoled.

I disagree. I feel most of the people on this site are warm, funny and helpful. There are always people who want to stir things up. Or don’t understand context. Or are just miserable human beings?. You know who you are

Without examples, it's hard to know what behaviour you are refering to. If you mean, attacking an idea someone has, I think that is what intellectually minded people should to.

If you mean attacking the person for bring it up, I think that is often bad. With that said, overtly sexist or racist etc, needs to be dealt with so it's not normalized in the community. If it become normalized, many people who are the victims of such bullshit, will feel unwelcomed.

With all that being said, since most bigotry is based on fear and ignorance, it often best to simply politely engage. So I think a balanced needs to thought though about engaging people who believe abhorrent things and allowing victims of that bigotry still feel welcomed in the community.

Often people that are not victims of bigotry advocate for polite exchanges, sometimes making the case that being unpolite is more of a crime than saying bigoted things.

So I'm mixed on your suggestions and would need a lot of context before I even know if I agree with you.

I agree with you. Could you give an example? I'm curious as to specifics. You can messenger me if you are willing, or not.

I agree with you. I guess it's safer to be mean on the internet than in real life, but I don't like that either. Nobody's going to know what kinds of issues everybody has or what offends each and everyone particularly... Or if they have to be aggressive when they disagree.... Keep scrolling if it's not something you're going to help with or don't like...

For the most part I think people on here are respectful even if they disagree. I have seen some harsh confrontations, but overall nothing big. Of course, if it's particular post or comment where I'm caught up in it more then it feels major.

A reminder is good! I have seen a few mean things, however, these are in the minority.
Thank you.

You seem to have misunderstood the nature and the purpose of the Internet: to allow people to fight with each other, from the safety and privacy of their own keyboards.

In the good old days, it was porn and Star Trek. But those have long gone.