My husband died ten months ago. I can't get motivated to start anything.

Start over with what?

Not scared , just not motivated enough .

I used to be, but then my fiancé & I broke up, I quit my job, sold my house and everything in it, and moved from NY to Alaska with my cat and everything I owned in a 2005 Corolla. Scared? You bet. It was completely worth it though as I look at the ways my life has improved and expanded over the last 4+ years. So being scared isn’t the bad part to me. Using fears as a reason not to do something is what I try to avoid. Based on my experience, I say it’s fine to be scared and do things anyway.

I definitely am. Because of the way my husband of 17 years ended our marriage I now have all these TRUST ISSUES I never had before. I seriously do not want to start a new relationship while dragging old baggage. It may take me a while to get that sorted out.

No, not at all. After my 25 year marriage ended, I realized that I was finally free. I have moved to different states, alone and not knowing a soul and have made lifelong friends. I retired, leaving my beloved midwifery practice to a young midwife, and have loved being free again. I have done lots of starting over, and I love it. It is an exciting adventure. I have dated also, but I haven't felt strongly enough about any of the men to give up my precious freedom. Maybe someday.

No.

If you feel afraid of being vulnerable, I suggest you watch "The Power of Vulnerability" by Brene' Brown. This 20-minute TED Talk changed my life.

[ted.com]

I was married to a wonderful woman for 36 years. Then, she died. So I'm starting over.

Yeah, it's scarey. How does one live a single life? Who am I now as a single man? What is the new dating etiquette? How can a person not be sharing his life and still be well adjusted, happy and live a life of depth and meaning? I have to find answers.

I used to get comfortable (and stagnant). Assuming life would plod on and I would be content was my way of life for years. I liked that. Over the past dozen years, I don't know what might happen, but when it happens, I adapt. Being homeless, jobless, knowing no one, or any combination, I dive in and find out that I can swim.

I'm not scared, but I'm reluctant to inflict my cynicism and doubt on some innocent nice guy.

I've had to start over several times. I'm not so scared of it now. It's just another chapter in the book.

Somewhat, yes. I'm recently divorced (only marriage) and I'm almost 50. It took me a really long time to find my ex-wife and I fear it will take a long time to find someone else I could love.

Nah...circle of life. It can be intimidating but it isn't like you have many options at that point. One foot in front of the other and enjoy the scenery

I've done it so many times that I've completely changed how I look at it.
You really aren't "starting over". You're just moving on to the next thing.
Life is always moving. You have to move with it.
I don't think there's much worse than being "stuck".
So, try not to be "scared". You're just moving to the next thing.
You're going to be fine.

In a way, every new day is "starting over".

Starting over has been a way of life for me.It has become more difficult as l have gotten older.

Yep

Don't know, but I hope this isn't the reward for how I performed in my last life.

I kinda had no choice - but in the end I am glad I did.

Change is always hard and can be scary. Wishing you the best.

I was, it gets better

Not at all.
nothing like more than learning something new.
And starting a new relationship is learning something new.
JMHO.

I have before and even though I’m much older I would do it again. Life is what it is. I’m not ready to give up yet.

Starting over; no. I was terrified of being alone which is why I stayed in bad relationships. I've been alone now for over 6yrs and (for the most part) love it.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal. It is the courage to continue that counts." -- Winston Churchill