A marriage license, oh wait I had to pay for that. And pay, and pay.

My ex once gave me a broom set for an anniversary present. I should have dumped him back then and saved time.

Close second..I had a sister-in-law who liked to give ugly, mismatched crocheted knick-knacks for Christmas. I filled a drawer with them, then, years later, put them in a Goodwill box.

Mothers Day 2008 or 2009. I had let my ex know I wanted a flower bed built in the back yard. My ex has a Xian Hymnal website. That year he wrote an Easter hymn. He used music from another hymn and wrote new words. Nothing about mothers or love or children. He dedicated that hymn to me on his website. When I opened the envelope and read the words and the dedication I almost barfed. He should not have quit his day job and I hate poetry anyway. I said "thank you." and changed the subject. In our divorce I specified that my name had to be taken off his website. Gag me, freaking gag me. I filed for divorce a few months later

When I was 7 my parents bought me one of those stupid child leashes 'for my birthday' (wrapped it and everything) and the next day I went outside while they were sleeping in and 'played' with it on the deck (mostly just attached it to a railing and tested elasticity and full stretch length or whatever) and 'accidentally' snapped the line.

A lap dance from some one who was not at all at tractive.
Although, my friends who paid for it got a good laugh.
I made them buy all of my drinks that night.

A bible.

@Redcupcoffee I am sorry..it was funny ?

I'm sorry . That is just a little bit funny.

A percussion massager so he wouldn’t have to rub my shoulders anymore

Well, do you use it ???

I dated a man for near 6 yrs .. I don't think he ever got me six gifts . I don't celebrate Xmas so he was happy about that I guess , but nothing for birthdays or just something ? One year he got me a device to hook up both of my dogs and walk them w one hand .. I don't know y he thought I need a free hand while walking my babies . The man wasn't cheap other ways . Just cheap and not thoughtful w me I guess . Or simply enough , did not loved me . And I am smiling ?

As you get older... you don't care for gifts anymore... give me money... That's what I do. Let them buy what they want, use the money as they feel fit. My son gave me a guitar as a BD gift... a righthanded guitar... I am lefthanded!!!! Geeks really Suck at Gift Giving!!!! My sister bought her husband... the same shirt twice within a year... He didn't used it the first time!!!! Second time will be a charm? Nope. A GF back in my College days (70's) gave me a very beautiful and expensive spoon and chalice emulating catholic church for consumption of cocaine. I never liked cocaine!!!!

we had a great Aunt that was honestly and simultaneously both the most thoughtful and the worst gift giver of all time. When I was young, she lovingly and meticulously hand sewed rows and rows of lace and rosebuds on panties for me. That was nice, but you know, it was the 70's and we were rocking bikini underwear under our bell bottoms and halter tops. That underwear was so UNBELIEVABLY scratchy. She also knew I liked art and had some modest aspirations to create art. She felt as a person who liked art, I would want paintings to hang in my bedroom. So, for my High School Graduation, she gave me an incredibly amateurish oil painting of two cockatoos where one had a foot held up in such a way it looked like a cockatoo penis. She was so proud of this purchase. She found it at a flea market from a "local artist who had won MANY awards". We had a dedicated nail on the wall at home. When she would visit, the "Cock"-atoo painting would come out and be hung in a prominent place. As soon as she left it would go back in the darkest recesses of the closet. She was a good person. She just was horrible at gifts. But we never let on how bad her gifts were.

My birthday is December 12. When I turned four, my godmother sent me the biggest package I had ever seen, but I wasn't allowed to open it until Christmas. It was a build it yourself telescope. I don't know any four year olds who are that into astronomy. And it was only 200x magnification. Even more disappointing than the cleaning caddy my ex got me for Christmas when I tried to break up with him in 2000. He thought I could use it for my new place (that I stayed in for two nights). (I wish I had stayed there much, much longer.)

For my birthday, my boyfriend took me to the Pendleton Woolen Mill in Oregon. Willy picked out a pattern and plaid fabric for me to sew him a shirt.

I was appalled. When I left Willy three years later, the unused fabric and pattern were still in his trunk.

My second husband's two sisters gave me peanut brittle for Christmas, every
year we while were married.

I have a severe peanut allergy.

Ex-girlfriend gave me a can of spray on waterproofing for shoes.

Every shirt one of my Grandmothers gave me, no matter the occasion.

My ex-MIL gave me a box of rocks for Christmas one year. It was a hot stone massage kit, but I'm not a big fan of the receiving massages... So the gift was a box of rocks to use to give her son massages? That's a gift for him, and it's still a box of rocks.

My very cheap mother gave me an iron she got free from the bank. A gift for opening an account. This happened after she asked me if I needed an iron and I said no. Lol.

A cooking pot on our first Christmas. What?

I got a car one time. We had opened gifts at home and there wasn't one for me. Then we drove out to his parent's house and on the way past the shop he said "there's your present, that car" and pointed to an old car. I don't think it was even a month later he sold it.

A spitoon. Need I say more?

I bet I am shorter than you.

I got a bath towel from a past girlfriend once for Christmas. That was it, just the towel.