I love hot dishes and it's not at all surprising if I've got sweat dripping into my eyes during a meal that I'm thoroughly enjoying. That said, if it's a seafood or mango stir fry, I'll never dial up the heat as far. Just seems like some combinations support the heat better than others. As much as I like that heat, though, there still has to be flavor and if it's being over-powered by chiles, I just won't enjoy it as much. There's an Indian dish called Phaal which is almost exclusively chicken, onion & chiles. There's plenty of heat & texture, but no flavor.

Since I moved to Thailand in 2010 I have always asked the food vendors how hot the seasoning is, and only take food with the milder seasoning. But I must have become hooked on it somehow because when I try to eat unseasoned food I tend to take a bite of Thai "peek thai" peppers before each bite of food.

Strangely, since I got intestinal cancer in 2016-I've been treating it and slowly improving with tiny amounts of cannabis oil, since it's difficult to purchase cannabis here-I've only been able to eat certain foods, but I can still eat spicy Thai fish.

Hot sauce, peppers, and other spicy condiments actually stimulates the taste buds. I like spicy. If the food is good it enhances the flavor, if it isn't you can conceal the flavor if you use enough (too much.)

It sounds like your friends were trying to smother the flavor.

I'm not an aficionados but I went to a thai restaurant and the waiter who was from thailand asked how hot would like my food 1-10 . I said a five and he responded that he ate at a five level and suggested a two which was crazy hot for me but I enjoyed every bite.