Sounds like you're struggling with some emotional and mental issues I would suggest counseling and it may take one or two tries to find the right person but it may help you get going in the right direction

I find that women are often attracted to men who take care of their health and physical well-being.

I've been in that place, where I felt there was something terribly wrong with me, when it was really about the way I was treated by cruel and/or sick people who only knew how to play upon my vulnerabilities and put me down. Not having any other frame of reference, I always thought it was me; as a result, I had a really tough time getting close to anyone. Took some work to recognize my inner worth and see that I deserve love and respect, so I'm saying it's possible. If you can, I suggest seeking help; there's no shame in what you've experienced and in reaching out for help. Just posting this here is a courageous step. Rest assured you're not alone.

Hi, Iwantu, and welcome to the website!

I'm sorry you've been going through challenging experiences, but maybe you'll find someone compatible with you on this website.

Be sure to present yourself in an upbeat, positive light; people will see you as you see yourself. If you think you are valuable and fun to be with, they'll believe it also!

Never complain-never explain, is a good dating motto!

By the way, this website has a bit of a learning curve, so here's some info, in case you need it.

For members who are open to dating, certain thumbnails and profiles have a heart symbol on them with a percentage. This identifies which members are open to dating, and the percent shows approximately how compatible others are with them.

You gain website points by answering all the profile questions and writing a bio, which also earns website points, and helps other members get to know you.

Commenting on posts and writing your own posts earns more points. At level two you can private message people, and at level eight you get an agnostic T-shirt.

If you want to date, the website uses profile algorithms to find member matches, so the more details one includes, the better the match.

Many people prefer to see a written profile talking about interests, hobbies, and backgrounds that can be quickly perused to find others with similar interests..

In case you didn't know yet, to find members near you, click on the "Browse" button at the top of the page, then on "Members," and enter your preferred search parameters.
Click on the "Discuss" button, then "Nearby" to find members near you also.
Or click on the "About" button at the top left of the page to find links to FAQ or the website tutorial.
Points are now being given to level 3+ members who chat. You can see chat rooms on the group main page or at [agnostic.com].

**You are not alone by a long shot. climb up out of the deep pit you are in, see a therapist, groupl therapy, join something , read self help books, get a physical and mental make over. I know some almost ugly people who are so So popular with the opposite sex thanks to personality and you can develop and change that if you want to.

It seems to me that the idiot in high school (who was just being an adolescent jerk) created doubt in your mind about your ability to be in a relationship that was only strengthened by your partner. I do think she was waiting for you to abuse her in some way -- not consciously -- but she doesn't know how to relate to any other type of man. I'm so sorry she put your through that. You were put into a no-win situation, there was literally nothing you could do 'right' in that relationship. But it certainly doesn't mean that you don't deserve or can't find love. However, you do need to work on yourself to understand that it's something you deserve. Therapy might be a start, but as mentioned by someone earlier, a group might be a great idea as you get to practice behaviors. Also, see if you can find groups to join -- book clubs, sports clubs -- something that you really enjoy doing. Get to know the people as friends and maybe something else will develop. Don't give up hope.

to make a friend, be a friend. love should start out as friendship. it's something that grows. don't think about love. think about the other person.

g

Sounds like you have labeled yourself an outsider and foster that by befriending people who aren’t available to you—kids in high school, the sexual trauma survivor, and the “friends” who are actually just acquaintances. We take roles that offer some sort of fulfillment, even the fulfillment of feeling unjustly ostracized. A good therapist can help you work thru those issues. If a therapist is financially out of reach, look at self esteem books in the library.

At 72 I'm now starting to feel just about the same way that you do.

ild recommend group cbt therapy or 1-1 person centred if you truly cannot work out who you are and the image you are presenting to the world the group because yoou might get honest feedback the 1-1 if you feel uncomfortable in groups. The older we get the more entrenched our behaviours can become and unpicking them can be a painful process it requires brutal self honesty other wise its just a trip on a metaphorical round about going no where good luck