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Should one bring/send flowers on a first date? Not a coffee. A real date. Dinner and a show, or lunch and a ballgame.

Donwhy 6 Sep 16
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44 comments

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0

Great question! I think it depends on the person you're going out with. On the hand, I know a lot of girls who just don't like flowers, so you would spend your in vain. On the other hand, I have female friends who absolutely adore flowers, and bringing a bouquet would significantly improve your chances of impressing them. Therefore, you should do your research before going out on a date. If you decide to buy flowers, make sure you purchase a worthy bouquet. My girlfriend is obsessed with roses, and I prefer to order them from the Mississauga flower delivery service. They never disappoint! Cheers.

0

Yes!

Orbit Level 7 Nov 2, 2018
3

It’s a very sweet gesture but at the same time it would be hard for me too to carry them around the entire time. Instead you can send them to her workplace with a hand-written note (seriously, skip the ready written fake notes) and it’ll mean a lot.

Guys have no idea how small but thoughtful things mean a lot to us.

1

If you look like this you should be ok...

lerlo Level 8 Sep 18, 2018
1

I am a guy (older) and may be completely off on this one but feel that a bouquet of flowers tug at the heartstrings of a female between 15 and early to mid twenties. On the other hand a walk with a female friend where a guy picks a single flower and offers it to a female friend has a far more significant emotional impact. Would love to hear feedback from Agnostic females.

OCJoe Level 6 Sep 17, 2018

Uhh no. I like receiving flowers. But I would dislike them being out of water during the date.

1

Not important for me on a first date; maybe down the line if we'd gotten to know each other more and were seeing each other more regularly. I'm way more impressed by how someone treats me and how we both interact, anyway. Another concern with receiving flowers is if we met in a public place and I had to drag them around with me. Kind of awkward balancing them on your lap in a theater or at a ballgame.

1

I've never done that sort of thing on a first date.
Meeting for coffee, or at a bar having a drink or two.
Both of them are more social.
It's important to me to get to know the person I'm with a bit before I'll have a second date.
I live on the beach, so my second date or so would be to have a walk one the beach, and watch the sunset.
Then maybe dinner.

1

I've never done it on a first date. I wait until I get to know the woman a bit more. Even then I don't like doing it where either of us will have to carry it throughout the date. I also had an ex who didn't want me to buy her flowers because her ex only bought her flowers when he did something wrong and was "apologizing".

2

In my mind, I would love getting flowers on a first date, after the date had happened, and only if in picking the flowers they showed that they paid attention to my story about my favorite flower - the Zinnia. I'm picky, but I've also never had a woman try to buy me flowers, so your mileage may vary.

1

No. There are ton of things you can do so she knows you're interested/prepared, but giving her something that she'll have to carry around for the duration is not going to resonate with most women. Instead look your best, show up on time, have some ideas on things to discuss and additional things to do if it's going well, maybe a walk or an event nearby.

I mean I think, I'm single what the fuck do I know. 😉

2

LOL "not coffee. A real date" Real date? heh

Right? There are no real dates only coffee and Netflix and chill.

1

What a nice thought. It’s never happened to me and I have no idea what to do with them. Oh, yeah, I think I have a vase somewhere. Thank you. And me being me I would immediately try to think of a way to repay that thoughtfulness.

1

A lovely thought....a nice (not too large!) bunch from the supermarket will set you back around $8, and you will have the pleasure of seeing her delight. Sending flowers will set you back $50 or more, and seems excessive in many ways.....

1

Simply depends on the couple's likes or dislikes.

2

Not if she is a hay fever sufferer

2

If the need to bring something on a real first date is strong than flowers would do.
But I feel on a very first date it's too much pressure.
I have been known to ask, when my date wants to pay for EVERYthing and not take my half of the cost, "Will you be expecting sex at the end of this date?".
I am up front and not afraid to set my boundaries.

I would never "expect sex". Would rejoice at sex, but I have no expectations for any date.

1

I don't want to receive anything on a first date . If we don't know ea other enough , giving me anything will make me uncomftable and what's the point ?
Also for me , a coffee time is a real date . A show , a movie , a game will never do for me . Not as first date at least , maybe two months later . I want to hear u talk , not the actors / athletes / whatever .

1

No chocolate. Why? Because it's probably milk chocolate and a lot of people don't eat dairy products for ethical or health reasons. Chocolates also generally have refined sugar which should be avoided. Bring me avocados....

Flowers are great if you are meeting her at her house so she can put them in water, not so much if she has to carry them around and watch them wilt all evening before finally getting thrown in the trash once she gets home. I'd be more impressed with a rose bush in a pot...ready to be planted. But, then, I have a big yard. LOL Daffodil bulbs to plant would be cool too -- Or a succulent in a pot...or herb....something that lasts!

A copy of a book you recommend is also a great idea....especially if you love to read. The other's person reaction to getting a book will tell you a lot about them.

Some of us will "squee" with delight! A book! Can I skip the date to read??!!! LOL

Other people will wrinkle their nose up in disgust or bafflement.....a book? what do I do with that?
You want to avoid those people.

Best possible? Bring me a rock....a polished Tiger's Eye or Snowflake Obsidian.....something that means something to you -- for example a piece of Amethyst geode because you are born in February would be awesome...and tell me the lore about the rock....the history.....why you like it....where it can be found in the world....etc.

Damn. I should probably date a geologist.

BTW, I usually cook on the first date...eating at home and having a real conversation is preferable to going out. And, yes, I usually give a book. If I have gotten to the "date" level of friendship, they are getting a book.

I would not invite a stranger to my home until we had met, arriving separately, at least 3 times in public.....Ted Bundy, a tall, handsome attorney, was a real charmer, ya know?

@AnneWimsey Well, I'm not dead yet and I have a lot of guns....so....
But, seriously, people have Facebook and other social media. You can check everyone out before the date --- who the hell even agrees to go out with a stranger?? I have always gotten to know someone personally before accepting a date. Also, with text messaging and email today, there is a long trail of electronic records before going on a date. If I don't trust someone, why would I go out with them? It sounds like you are used to moving to the dating stage WAY TOO FAST! You might want to slow that down....

@SkotlandSkye ummm, I require at least several conversations within the confines of the dating app, then coffee in a public place, and Never give my home phone (use a cheap cell burner) or address out until I actually feel I know the person. I worked as one of a dozen women in a shipyard of 20,000 men for 13 years, consider myself a student of men!
And, I repeat, Ted Bundy was a practicing, respected lawyer...tall, good-looking, gift of gab, you could have social-media checked him all day and still find him applying makeup to your moldering corpse after a "visit".......

@AnneWimsey Ted Bundy existed prior to cell phones and Facebook -- so, not a good or relevant example. Your theory works well if the people live close by or in the same city. My last four dates from this site have all come in from miles--whole states-- away. All four of them stayed at my BnB while in town -- so obviously they have my name and business location! LOL Do you only date people from your location? That seems very limiting. I can't imagine that anyone I would be interested in is within 50 miles of me.

@SkotlandSkye it is a fine example for the ages...if you had FB checked him, if FB existed, or any other way, you would have found a well-respected practicing attorney, etc etc.....
Running a business puts you out in public, of course...i am myself as president of an over-55 Singles Club that is constantly recruiting. But caution, to the extent you can, is never inappropriate. Being stalked is no fun, even less being murdered! I do not just date from my location, have RV, can & will travel!

@AnneWimsey well, some of us work and have businesses to run so we aren't free to run around in an RV. Again, in this day and age, there is an electronic footprint that exists and that DIDN'T exist when Bundy was around. Again, you don't know WHAT Bundy would have put on Facebook so any claim you make in that regard is nothing but hypotheticals...but you sure would not have been going out with a stranger. Or, conversely, if he DID hide his Facebook and not post personal things...that would all have been red flags NOT to go out with him. You can hold the belief that the world is the same now as it was then...but, hell, the world wasn't even the same a year ago.

@SkotlandSkye I am 70, thus retired, thus "time to run around in my RV,"...is that okay with you?
The way we communicate has changed, but I assure you, people have not. But because of much higher population numbers, the amount of weirdos (pretty fixed % of population) has increased. Thus it is pretty foolish to act as if it were 1975.....
And I do not try to guess what Bundy would put on FB, I am saying a general search for him would have been quite reassuring ..........are you willfully misunderstanding, or ?

@AnneWimsey No, not willfully misunderstanding. Just reaching the conclusion that no matter what I write on this site, you will argue with me. This is like the 10th time. I think it's best if you and I part ways at this point. Please don't respond to anything further of mine and I'll give you the same wide berth.

@SkotlandSkye if you cannot or will not answer a direct question(s) with a direct answer, I will pursue you until you do, or cop out......

@AnneWimsey well, no. Because now I'm blocking you. I have no further desire to be followed around this site by you just so you can pick fights.

1

Something more discrete on a first date. A fine chocolate, or ONE small flower that she/he can put in a purse/bag. But I would go better with a fine chocolate, or even some small food that you know is not common for people to buy.
Let the flowers for when you already have something ion going.

2

I don’t by flowers for anyone anymore, twice in my life I had woman break up with me the day I a got them flowers... I’ll by you dinner, I’ll cook, pay for drinks, hell, I even braught a girl a ukulele, if we are together what’s mine is yours but if you want flowers you will have to buy them yourself.

3

It really depends on what kind of people you two are and where you are going on the date.

  • If you like bringing flowers on the first date; if that's your thing, then go ahead. But be considerate of your date and the place of the date.
  • Your date might not like the flowers (could be allergic or have a specific flower he/she likes); do research before buying your date flowers.
  • Don't bring flowers to a date where you or your date can't set the flowers aside; you don't want someone holding a bouquet of flowers the entire time, do you?
2

I would say that's your call but it would be better than a set of wiper blades

@Omen6Actual I use Rain-X

1

Notes on seduction - Ogden Nash
"Candys dandy, Liqueurs quicker"

3

I have gotten a good response from a single rose on the first date. Classy but not overdone. Really though it depends on the person, use your best judgment.

1

A resounding no! I think you shouldn't act overly chivalrous on the first date. Women say they like it and that it's "sweet", but they secretly hate it (trust me on this), and later use your sweet behavior as a weapon against you ("but you weren't always like that" ). A reasonable combination of courtesy and genuineness should work out fine for you. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to show the masculine side of you.

Wrong. I think a gentleman should be a gentleman and not show up empty handed.

@SkotlandSkye
Yeah? And what should "ladies" bring to the table? I should not show up empty-handed just because the other person has a vagina between her legs? I thought we were all equal.

@Darius77 I generally give books on the first date....but I also prefer to COOK and stay home to have a conversation. Therefore, I am providing food and professional skill. Thanks for showing you are a TYPICAL man who goes straight to sex. You do know that women have brains too, right? And, seriously dude, do something about that chip on your shoulder. It makes you look ugly.

@SkotlandSkye
Thank YOU for playing the victim card. I have NO problem giving my date a gift as long as I know there is reciprocity. But if someone EXPECTS me to automatically bring something to the table just because she happens to be the one with the vagina, then I have a huge problem. This is the exact opposite of going straight to sex! It shows I'm not willing to get laid through any means.

@SkotlandSkye
And just because I express opinions that you don't approve of doesn't mean I have any chip on my shoulder. I get along fantastically with women. I'm just not willing to bend over backwards to please them. That's against my dignity. You are free to interpret it however you wish to.

@Darius77 hahahahahaha YOU were the one "playing victim"
Oh, poor me...it's good manners to bring a gift and I don't want to because why should I just because she's a women....men are sooooooooooo taken advantage of......

ugh. Men like you are gross. I'll be blocking you now for being an asshat.

@SkotlandSkye
Class act by deleting all your comments!!

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