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Has anyone else had a religious friend ask where your sense of morality comes from? Didn’t really know what to say except that I enjoy making people feel good. Treat people as you want to be treated. That’s psych 101 to me...

Sbaren00 4 Sep 19
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58 comments (26 - 50)

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2

I have and I let them know it stems from the way I was raised. My mom instilled a strong moral compass in me. We are all equal and all deserve love.

2

I usually say something along the lines of, well, if you need someone telling you that murder and rape and thievery is wrong... I mean...

Remi Level 7 Sep 20, 2018
2

Perfectly acceptable response.

I actually question the morals of most religious people anyway.

One does wonder about the morality of certain groups in the US (and in Canada too) A lot of their behaviour would get them into a very warm placebe for eternity (if it existed) because they do such dishonest stuff, they support other people's lies, they are among most judgemental people in existence and they are so self righteous. Humble appears nowhere in their dictionary. All in all they seem to be extremely prideful

@irascible Call me crazy....

2

I had a Christian upbringing, not a serious one really, mostly a few years of bible school until the church tried to require my parents to join. I've always tried to treat people well, the whole golden rule thing, but do look back and see how I often failed. It amazes me that people think religion is the sole gatekeeper of morality, and from experience those of the smaller, often more progressive religions can be the same.

1

I always say I have a moral compass and some common sense.

1

No, but morality is certainly not exclusively the domain of religious groups. I would argue that so many religous people are completely immoral it is not unthinkable then that the nonreligious could be moral. Ideas of morality arise from secular philosophy as much from religious beliefs.

I tend to agree with you. Religion seems to be a get out of jail free card for most.

1

Simplest answer I know is.. empathy.. do onto others as you would have onto you..
And self preservation.. (we are herd/pack animals after all)

1

I've had theists tell me it's impossible to have morality without their god and his book. It was no use even having a discussion, because with their circular logic, they are not able to see any other possibility.
I was told that they are sorry for me and that one day I will find morality through their deity.
I left the discussion to practice my moral stance of not tolerating fools any longer than necessary.

Dan Barker (FFRF) poses the question - is murder wrong? Is murder wrong only because god says “thou shalt not kill”? If god did not say that murder is wrong, then would it be ok?
Or is murder wrong and god is just telling us so?
And if murder is objectively wrong, why do we need god to tell us so?

1

A late friend who was a game theoretician use to say: "Always do more of the same unto others as they do unto you. If we all behaved that way we would do nothing but nice things for one another, right?"

1

I believe you and your religious friend share the source of your morality.

It begins when we are and selfish and our parents teach us the difference between right and wrong. Then, as we grow, siblings, teachers, friends, etc. continue to impress moral lessons on us in a variety of ways because the morality we learn improves how well the social structure works for everyone. Finally, when we are mature enough to think it through, we realize that everyone feels the same pain and sorrow that we feel in response to the behavior of others. Our response to that knowledge is to refrain from such behaviors. For most, the circle of influence extends from family to friends, and then to larger groups in which we find interest. Finally, the edges of that circle of influence begin to fray and we find it more and more difficult to sympathize with 'faraway unknown others.' When we give, we give only leftovers. Really, how many of us are willing to give--to our own detriment--to benefit the lives of others (unlike what we are willing to give to our family and friends), whom we have never met and never will?

The initial helping of selfishness and survival instinct, with which we are all born, remains and continues into adulthood to a greater or lesser degree for all--religious and nonreligious alike. Thus, the authors of the Bible received their moral education in the same multitudinous ways that you and your friend received yours. The only difference is that some attribute moral knowledge to a supreme being instead of to the evolution of empathy in their own lives.

1

That question is ubiquitous among the believers quiver. You can't help them until they are ready.

1

Good answer! The Golden Rule wins out every time

lerlo Level 8 Sep 20, 2018
1

What I want to know is where does the morality come from in so-called "religious" people!? My ethical framework and morality feel, seem and appear to be WAY ahead of many of the local church-goers and well-known teach-by-example figures. Sheesh!

1

One thing I find is that morality tends to be fluid when you are dealing with religion. Morality changes from sect to sect, from religion to religion from time period to time period. So really you have only a non-religious morality that is consistent because they are based on human principles and in the video greed is mentioned. Greed can be seen as moral behaviour in a religious context. But destructive greed is never seen as moral behaviour in an atheist context ---

1

From myself and society, it's a slow and steady process. We are happiest when doing good, we wrestle with tough questions and do the best we can, learn from our mistakes and move forward.
We find plenty in religion that is morally reprehensible and fight against it rather than adhering to it blindly.

1

Human morality predates religion. Religion is not the only source of morality (questionable here too). I have this bizarre idea that I should help others, not be greedy, seek to be environmentally friendly. I have devoted my life to education based on my own moral compass.

1

not a religious friend. religious antagonists yes. my friends don't ask obnoxious questions like that. they know i am an ethical person. ask your friend why she thinks people can't be good unless they have a promise of heaven or the threat of hell, and whether it isn't more ethical or moral to be good because that's the kind of person you are!

g

0

Hello Neighbor! May the force of unconditional love be with you my friend always.

0

Yes, I have been asked by religious friends where my sense of morality comes from. My response is: It comes from my own sense of well being. What I find interesting about them asking me that question though, about morality is, when I ask them to define what they mean when they say morality, they haven't got a clue about what they are asking me. So, on a question such as this, I want to make sure about what they are actually asking me before I can even begin to answer their question. And, most of the time, they haven't got a clue what they are asking. I can also tell them that if their morality comes from authority, pronouncements and threats of punishments, and eternal torture in hellfire, then they themselves, have no morality or sense of morality, because what if they decide like we atheist that all these threats are not real? Will they they go around killing, raping and stealing? I have actually become more moral since I no longer believe in such religious, nonsense. I have become kinder and more sympathetic toward my fellow being, and even kinder to animals since I left religion behind.

0

I actually believe that morality existed before the Bible, before we developed written communication. It's a bit backwards. People think morality comes from the Bible, when morality always existed... People just wrote it down.

I totally agree. Morality has been as long as living organisms have been around. Religious morality is not morality at all. They are nothing but pronouncements. If the religions' god says killing innocent men, women, children and animals and rape is moral, then it is moral.

I must also include the immorality has been around as long as organisms has been around as well, and morality is an on-going learning process as oppose to authoritative pronouncements.

0

When I walked away from church and religion, I had one of the elder's wife call me up to get me back in. At one point, she argued that christianity is great is wonderful b/c w/o it we wouldn't have all the medical hospitals (Babtist Memorial, lebonheur methodist, etc.) I asked her how all the people in China and India have gotten medical care if only christianity is responsible for caring and compassion towards others. All I got in response was <crickets>

0

Well i only started treating women better after i left the religion coz religion taught me that they are not equal human being. So my morality definitely didn’t came from religion.

0

I have had the bad misfortune in life to have sat by several death beds, and the only thing that I can think of that will bring any comfort as you lie there staring at the ceiling, is the thought that you have done your best for everyone else. That's where my morality comes from.

0

yes and no. I've never had someone who remained a friend after the discussion ask me this.

I know that some religious people ask this with sincere intent, but I've never met them, and the moment the conversation drifted to "but you can't REALLY be moral" those people stopped being my friend.

0

Confucius. He wrote the first laws 500 years before Christ.

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