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Where are you from?
As a foreigner here I always get this question at bars. Some idiot asks me "where are you from?". My answer has always been "the restroom". You should see the expression on their face. What is it with idiots in this country? Are they so insecure about losing their position?
As a contrasting example, I am sitting in a bar in Boston. There's these two guys from Scotland that sit next to me. Know what they said to me? "what brings you to boston?" we got talking and I found out there was a great movie I have been missing out on. Europeans seem to have 1000x more intelligence than the average american. I think it's because of religion here. what do you think?

lafunguy818 4 Sep 20
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49 comments

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2

Tell them to learn proper English and not end a sentence with a preposition. The question should be from where do you come? Correcting someone else's grammar in their language will shock them. Haha.

@AmyLynn I teach writing and correct that error every time. I speak that way and know a number of people who do. Better to say most Americans do not speak that way. It is not pretentious at all. Look how Trump and his epigones speak.

Ok, where are you from, bitch? ?

@Skeptic66 @AmyLynn theres not actually any real rule about not ending a sentence in a preposition in English. This is a common misconception but it's a latin rule whose application to english was totally made up by pretentious people to sound smart. Sometimes it's unavoidable and when a preposition gets used that way I think you'll find it's almost always functioning as an adverb instead.

What is proper English, after all the language is basically a hybrid of French, Latin, Anglo-Saxon, a smattering of Indian sub-continent, and Classical Greek amongst other derivatives. Is there a uniquely formulated type of English? Perhaps we can ask people to stop using words such as Bungalow, kayak and regality. Just a thought. The term, if we are being pedantic should be ‘correct English’, not ‘proper English’. That sounds colloquial and uneducated!

0

And I would say that it is more irritating when I get asked that here in London. After I reply 'I'm a Londoner, born and raised' or 'I'm British' the next question is usually 'Yeah, but where are your family from?'. But, again, whether I get irritated or not kinda depends on what I detect the intent is behind the questions.

@CoastRiderBill I think that is pretty much on the money! The stratification of society in England is far more complex than even 30 years ago to the point of inverted snobbery where many middle classes want to assume connections with South and East London or North West England, tradition working class areas. Karl Marx would have a field day if he were aware of the irony, the bourgeoisie implying proletariat roots!

@CoastRiderBill No, it's not like that really. The aristocracy is about half a percent of the population and the rest of us ignore them as much as we can and take the piss out if them whenever possible.

But otherwise we have the same attitudes as other western countries; often based on how much money you have.

There are vague upper/middle/working class residual attitudes still around but mostly people are just people. Except for chavs; everyone feels superior to chavs ?

1

My partner, who is Korean but grew up in California, is asked that question all the time as well, and she, too, really dislikes it. To her, it's actually almost always because the person asking is being subconsciously (or flat out consciously) racist, an opinion that probably a lot of white people would be offended by, but I think she's right, personally. These conversations usually go like:

Them: where are you from?
Her: California.
Them: no, where are you really from?
Her: ... California?
Them: where are your parents from, though?

Literally every single time, with only the last question varying. It's like we Americans can think of nothing more than skin-deep to ask a person to get to know them. And I'm sorry you're going through this so often - I understand you completely.

Sorry, I should quickly clarify why I believe this to be racist as well: the response, "No, where are you really from?" Clearly implies that the asker doesn't believe anyone without white skin can be American.

4

Calling an American an idiot for simply asking you a question is equally idiotic. It’s a huge place and it is not often I meet someone from somewhere else. Perhaps I just want to know about you and your travels. Maybe I’m curious to know why you are here: job, vacation, family, or millions of other possibilities.
I’m not sure why you find the question so rude and idiotic. My guess it’s partially cultural and partly you just don’t like Americans. Americans will often ask each other where they are from with our accents. How does the question relate to our insecurity with position? Most of your post is illogical with conclusions based without causation. I find it ironic that you are concluding Europeans are 1000x more intelligent.
Your post makes about as much sense as people having faith in religion.

Definitely agree.

5

When I lived in Seattle, I wrote at a Starbucks on Capitol Hill... which was a fairly diverse part of town One block up the hill from Downtown Seattle. Thousands of tourists visited this Starbucks every year. I heard accents and languages there all the time. I always felt it was a great experience getting to know the people, who they were, where they were from, what brought them to Seattle/America... Occasionally, I got to direct them to some of the more "local" places in the area to visit that tourists often miss but are well worth the visit.

I met a lot of US college students who traveled the country with their stuff, spent the night on someone's couch, and then moved on to another town. I lived close by, and could share a couch from time to time, and that was a lot of fun as well.

Now if they thought I was an idiot for wanting to learn more about them, then that's on them. I took care to make sure I didn't take up more time if they were otherwise busy, but most of the people loved asking me about Seattle and all the things they could do while they're 'here.' I loved hearing about where they were from. In some cases, I'd even been in their neck of the woods.

Our exchanges were quite 'enlightening.' Hell, we even discussed politics sometimes (ours and theirs).

Saying you're from "the restroom" is clever, but what if these people generally want to know more about you and your point of origin? Is that really so "stupid"?

Well said!

Agree.

1

"where are you from" is in my opinion, a fairly common question here in Florida.
Most people that live here came from somewhere else.
It's not a stupid, nor insulting question.
What I don't get, was your statement, " What is it with idiots in this country? Are they so insecure about losing their position?".
Exactly what position do you mean?

1

I have traveled a lot in Europe and elsewhere, I got asked this all the time. It’s, as people are pointing out, a conversation starter. My ex was from Brasil and he loved this question, as do I when I travel.

1

Curiosity. What's wrong with that? Being Portuguese I'm proud of where I come from. I live in Dublin, Ireland. Plenty of people from different countries. Different attitudes. All good.

1

For me the only reason I would ask that question would be out of curiosity.
I also remember Newton Crosby asking Ben where he was from he said Bakersfield, in an Indian accent, Newton then asked no before that, Bens response was Pittsburgh.

A lot of movies haven't aged well, but that one is still fantastically fun!

1

I agree with the several other replies that you shouldnt automatically take offense to the question. Yes it's a bit clumsy that your foreignness is the first thing people want to address but superficial elements like that and the weather is all people can think of to start a convo sometimes, and ignorance does not equal hate. I know it must be tiresome to answer over and over but unless they say it with a palpable degree of contempt, disdain, bewilderment or incredulity they're probably just genuinely curious about you as a person. Try to be patient with people like that; its likely they've been in their white people bubble long enough that their experience with you will heavily influence their overall attitudes on people of color in general.

I think the generally more bucolic attitudes of Americans (and the extreme ignorance of many) is due to several factors. Being more religious in the midwest and bible belt is surely one of them, plus the history of jim crow segregation in the south and economic de facto segregation in major metro areas of the north, plus the fact that we're a giant melting pot that people of every culture seem to assimilate into, rather than having many ancient cultures within cheap travelling distance means everyone comes to us, not the other way around. Wondering and asking about where you're from is the closest many of us will get to being able to afford to travel out of the country, if only in our mind's eye. If they're not being rude about it try to humor them if you can, you may wind up having a nice conversation or aiding in the destruction of their unpalatable ignorance.

Also if it makes you feel any better thats a fairly common opener amongst white folks as well. As a southerner if I found myself up north or out west Id expect to be asked where Im from quite frequently too.

3

It is not clear why people showing an interest in you is so offensive but if you are so impressed with the intelligence of Europeans, move there. BTW, there are as many religious people, if not more, in Europe than there are in the US but don't let that stop you.

OCJoe Level 6 Sep 20, 2018
1

I live on the Isle of Wight, UK. I was born in Wiltshire (UK) and moved to London when I was about a year old. I left the London area 47 years later. I have a London accent, south London to be precise. I don't know if it's the same round the world but there are nuances and subtleties to accents in Britain. The super trained ear can tell the difference not only between different areas of Britain, most of us can do that, but variations in the same area, there are different London accents for example.
I do get the 'where are you from' question on the Island, especially during the holidays, as my accent isn't local and they think I'm on holiday.
I've been to America a great many times and I certainly don't think Europeans are more intelligent, there is an equal spread of dimbo's round the world. Europeans have a longer history as nations, usually involving being at war with each other for most of the past two thousand years, but I found Americans, if anything, to be more polite and inquisitive rather than a variation of less intelligent.
Something I have also found around the world is that the vast majority are welcoming and enjoy your being interested in them and if you can learn a few bits of the local lingo, such as 'Please' and 'Thank You' then so much the better........with the possible exception of Parisians lol

This is common in most countries. When I grew up in France and French was all but mu primary language outside the home, I could tell you which part of France the TV news announcers came from by their pronunciation of words. My last wife, who was Slovak, could tell which part of Slovakia people she met over here were from just by their way of speaking Slovak. And there were definite class distinctions in how she reacted to those from some areas than others. And we here in the States certainly have hundreds of differing accents, not only state to state, but specific areas and even cities within the states. I live in Lancaster, PA, home of the Pennsylvania Dutch and often get asked where I am from because Even though I was born here, I grew up overseas and never quite developed the accent despite living here for 50 years. Never bothers me.

0

I often get asked what country I am from. I am from Wisconsin!

Della Level 6 Sep 20, 2018
1

I get asked that often. "What are you?"
I just look confused and answer back with some witty remark.
I've been Mexican, Puerto Rican, Cuban.... When people have guessed.
Even a doctor tried to correct my race information in my medical chart.
Nope, just your typical American mixture, born in the midwest.
I really don't know why people need to define others. Seems like a waste of energy.

4

I think it is a somewhat ungracious attitude toward a country that you are a guest in. My experience of American people are that they are generally charming and very friendly, especially in Boston where I lived for a short while. Being from UK as am I, I am sure you have encountered the same types of people but will greet you with a grimace instead of a smile. As for religion, I suspect you totally misunderstand the religious topography of Notth America. I am also not sure what position you are suggesting they are losing. That would be a good conversation to have to engage more deeply with the American psyche.

3

Honestly Religion is very strong in Europe as well. It just so happens those two Scottish fellas were very nice and not basic morons. However every 1st world country is more or like the same we just always see the grass is greener on the other side. No matter where you go there will always be racists and bigots and religious fanatics.

1

I'm British. I think that the question 'Where are you from?' is a perfectly okay and to be expected question when a foreigner (with an accent) in another country. But, on the other hand, I totally understand that if you are being asked this question LOADS of times then, yes, it must be bloody irritating. And it depends on how you are being asked the question...it depends on the tone of the question. I'm not sure that religion is a factor in you being asked that question, at least not obviously so.

2

I am a bit of a foreigner myself, with a little accent. I have studied many languages and love trying to figure out where people's accents originate. I have no problem with being asked hat question. It's a conversation starter and a way to get to know people. People like comparing and contrasting their country with another. Culture is different in different countries and it gives you an idea about where the person is coming from. Where are you from that makes you so reticent?

2

I lived in Mexico for a year, and many people asked me where I was from. It never offended me in the least, and I was flattered that they took interest.

palex Level 6 Sep 20, 2018
1

I’m sure some people are asking to be rude but for me, I would be asking simply because I’m curious. Curious to know where you grew up, what it was like, etc. I’ve done very little travel and enjoy learning about other places. Not sure if it’s fair to assume everyone has ill intentions

2

Wow. Just ... wow.

0

think its just a conversation starter in edinburgh the tourists are everywhere so its an easy way to get a friendly chat going.I would deff agree americans can be less well informed and very inward gazing but the ones that seem to leave to go travelling always seem very open and intelligent and most seem to be at the least religious but lapsed kinda people never really met any zealots.

3

Sir , they are asking u where are u from , not telling u " get the hell out of here ".
I have heard both in my life , and there is a huge difference ?‍♀️?

1

Personally, I see that question as being racist and ignorant. I don't see it as "innocent" and someone "just trying to start a conversation". Maybe it's because
I see too many white people, who are trying to disguise their innate racism, using
that as an excuse.
I know a lot of white people who are scared shitless about becoming a minority in this country. They are deliberately ignorant of the FACT that white people stole this country from the people of color who were here first.

3

If I ever ask someone that question it comes from legit curiosity about the world and all the cultures and people who inhabit it. I love learning about people and shit like that. I guess it just depends on the inflection and undertones they use.

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