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Failing Mother’s Godly Child Checklist

One thing I love being at med school is that I get to stay away from the religious community I grew up in. Don’t get me wrong. I love my parents, but I don’t like having religious thoughts being shoved in my mind. As my mother and I talk through phone, she keeps reminding me of things I should and should not do as a Child of God. I haven’t told her yet that I don’t believe in such a thing. I only wanted to humor her thoughts.

  1. Don’t be an activist.
    I don’t know what she has against activists, but she said don’t get involved in any activist activities at university. Well, I already failed that. I am an activist that uses my writings to fight for what I believe is right. Also, I may have gotten involved in some activities that do not encompass her beliefs. I have gotten involved with some articles that may have caused some havoc. Being a child of god means not being involved in such meaningless wars, and I should use my writings to please Him. Ummmmm, no.

  2. Believe and Trust in God.
    Nope. She claims that the source of morality of the world is a belief in a higher being. I say that is yes and no. The Chinese Civilization survived without believing in a god. They believed in philosophies such as Confucianism. Same goes with Japan, Russia, and other countries around the world. Morality is man-made, like religion. Taking away a belief in a higher being won’t cause anarchy. Why does China still have order even though a majority of them are atheists?

Also, she says that all of our works are for naught if there is no God. It is not for naught. Future generation will benefit from the contributions you do to the world.

  1. Don’t trust your instinct.
    Is it wrong to feel if something wrong will happen to a person? Somewhat, from a person’s actions, I can see that this will go wrong and that will not end well. I do not claim that I am always right about that, but it is obvious that a person will end up getting hurt due to something he/she does. Basically, I shouldn’t try to feel for a person’s future misfortunes and let God see instead. Ummmmm, yeah. Letting God feel a person’s misfortune won’t save him/her from possible harm. It is through seeing that something will go wrong that you can save that person from harm, directly. To sum it up, what she said is just trust in God. Don’t let your instinct fool you. Nope.

  2. Pray.
    I don’t pray. I think but not pray. I reflect but not pray. If wishing upon a star could solve the world’s problems, then the Earth would already be heaven. Life doesn’t work that way.

I just don’t like feeling attacked for my beliefs. I know it is sort of my fault for not letting her know, but I don’t think a Roman Catholic country would treat me well if I suddenly came out as an atheist. My head is already aching as she goes on. I had to politely end the call by saying that I need to study.

CesStuart 5 Sep 22
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18 comments

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0

Good point...I was a preachers child and I felt indoctrinated at age 7...

0

Bide your time. Try to see the love in her words through the nonsense. Focus on making your world a better place.

0

Catholics love their dogma. It is stifling though.
Be yourself. Live love learn and grow. Do what you must to be comfortable in situations but always keep your true self as the priority.
A clearer translation of that: Act the way you know you should and say what you must to keep your life comfortable...until you decide the internal struggle is no longer worth it for you. There is no right and wrong just what you feel like you should do to have your best day everyday

0

Your mom seems sort of strict. I thought I had it bad growing up an baptist. Religion has screwed up an a lot of lives I'm glad I'm enlightened now. It's very liberating.

0

It seems like you already know which rules to break and have logical reasons why. I don't know how your parents would react if you were to openly declare your beliefs, but if you were my daughter, I would be damned proud of you.

Now to your mother. She assumes that her beliefs are also yours. The religious advice is something she believes and honestly thinks will be beneficial to you.

The activist advice, I understand as a parent. I have outspoken children. My daughter especially speaks out loudly and often against everything she feels is wrong. I'm proud of her, while it scares the hell out of me. I worry about her safety should she offend the wrong person or group. However, I could never ask her not to stand up for her beliefs.

JimG Level 8 Sep 23, 2018
0

When I was 15, I made a bargain with my Catholic mother. If I successfully completed my confirmation she would never talk to me about religion.

We both kept our side of the bargain.

0

My mum is a loving person but each time we talk on the phone, god seems to dominate the conversation. At some point, I had to interrupt her and tell her that we should focus our conversation on other mundane things that concern both of us like health, wellness, career, etc. It can be frustrating to hear my mum dominate the conversation with god, what god wants and what he does not want, and questions like if I prayed or attended church the last Sunday. I actually try to avoid talking with her on Sundays because the conversation would most likely be dominated with god, church and questions of whether I prayed and attended church that day. I know she will be heart broken if I come out openly to her as a non-believer, so I try to be very passive with such conversations. I perfectly understand what you're going through

obis Level 6 Sep 22, 2018
0

Considering you live in the Phillipines you need to be an activist and a feminists too.

'Need to ...' suggests you have the same attitude as her mother with regard to your own beliefs ?

@SimonCyrene Hardly.

@Jolanta so sayeth you lol. But, no-one needs to do anything (unless there is a resultant clause)?

0

I wonder where she got the "do not be an activist" namely is it a don't question be a follower a product of religion or a sub product of the misogynistic traits of Catholicism? Perhaps she worries you will become awakened into the land of reality? In any event, I full agree with your standing.

A caveat I can offer is my mother is also a theist. From the position of an open atheist, I have pointed out a few of the evils of religion but reserve my greatest arguments when she states, "without religion (belief in life after death), I would have nothing to be happy about."

1

I hope your intelligence and clear-headedness continue to flourish in your new environment. I don't envy you the changing interaction with your parents. When you need it I hope you have folks in the 'real' world to lean on. Otherwise you got us too!?

1

I have friend who has never been overly religious and knows I don’t believe there is a god. He will be turning 70 next month and recently started spouting “truths” from his bible. I know it’s an age thing with him but I was grinding my teeth. Oops! We were disconnected.

0

I always admired my wife's handling of her daughters early and keen interest in religion. She let her explore ... bought her children's Bible story books, read to her at bedtime from them, allowed her to attend church, even went with her once in awhile.

It was ultimately a way of allowing her to explore things she was genuinely curious about. My wife was secure enough in her [un]beliefs that this didn't threaten her.

Ultimately her daughter scandalized her high school aged catechism class by concluding that god wasn't real. But if my wife had fought her daughters interest in religion or even very much propogandized against it ... I don't know that it would have turned out that way, given that this strong-willed child probably would have fought back rather than worked it out for herself.

So there's some point to the article that curiosity lifts all boats ... if a child learns critical thinking then ultimately they will just be satisfying any curiosity about, e.g., whether or not god is real, with the realization that he isn't.

0

In future you will have a lot here to go through with mom. She means well but I'm in agreement with you. I woke up along my own way after having once believed as she did. Now I am an activist in my own right and I do not pray or have time to reflect on invisible imaginary beings.

You cover a lot of things in a good way in your checklist. I admire your quick work on morality being man-made. In America they still debate that for hours to a point of being ridiculous.

0

Do you belong to any secular groups? Freedom From Religion Foundation is a great one but the Humanist [thehumanist.com] is a great one. Many people, young and not so young have issues about coming out to their families. I think you may be having issues with this right now and could use some help in how best to do this. Here is a good example of a famous person and his coming out [en.wikipedia.org]

0

Moms can be tough. Mine was 100% concerned for my everlasting soul and was absolutely certain I was on a path to hell. One day I just told her that I couldn’t make myself believe something that all evidence and experience told me was not true and she should have faith in her god to convince me otherwise. We had an understanding from them on.

4

Your mother is being an activist any time she Proselytizes for her god.

2

I'm sure it must be harder in the Philippines than in Western countries to come out as atheist. Do you have any friends who share your non-belief? Do you have plans when you graduate? I have seen a couple of others here from the Philippines but it is a big country. Keep up the non-faith and we wish you well.

gearl Level 8 Sep 22, 2018
1

My mother was like that.
I don't miss her.

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