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Guys ask why women are so pissed off. Even guys with wives and daughters. Jackson Katz, a prominent social researcher, illustrates why. He's done it with hundreds of audiences:

"I draw a line down the middle of a chalkboard, sketching a male symbol on one side and a female symbol on the other.
Then I ask just the men: What steps do you guys take, on a daily basis, to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? At first there is a kind of awkward silence as the men try to figure out if they've been asked a trick question. The silence gives way to a smattering of nervous laughter. Occasionally, a young a guy will raise his hand and say, 'I stay out of prison.' This is typically followed by another moment of laughter, before someone finally raises his hand and soberly states, 'Nothing. I don't think about it.'
Then I ask the women the same question. What steps do you take on a daily basis to prevent yourselves from being sexually assaulted? Women throughout the audience immediately start raising their hands. As the men sit in stunned silence, the women recount safety precautions they take as part of their daily routine.
Hold my keys as a potential weapon. Look in the back seat of the car before getting in. Carry a cell phone. Don't go jogging at night. Lock all the windows when I sleep, even on hot summer nights. Be careful not to drink too much. Don't put my drink down and come back to it; make sure I see it being poured. Own a big dog. Carry Mace or pepper spray. Have an unlisted phone number. Have a man's voice on my answering machine. Park in well-lit areas. Don't use parking garages. Don't get on elevators with only one man, or with a group of men. Vary my route home from work. Watch what I wear. Don't use highway rest areas. Use a home alarm system. Don't wear headphones when jogging. Avoid forests or wooded areas, even in the daytime. Don't take a first-floor apartment. Go out in groups. Own a firearm. Meet men on first dates in public places. Make sure to have a car or cab fare. Don't make eye contact with men on the street. Make assertive eye contact with men on the street.”

― Jackson Katz, The Macho Paradox: Why Some Men Hurt Women and How All Men Can Help

(The first man to minor in women's studies at the University of Massachusetts-Amherst, holds a master's degree from the Harvard Graduate School of Education, and a Ph.D. in cultural studies and education from UCLA.)

HippieChick58 9 Sep 28
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61 comments (51 - 61)

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2

To the extent even 15 year old kings vested by god will go to make sure there will be no queen ruling the land. He, he, ha, he. And he Died!!!! Granted the grown men educating him and managing the country for him had a lot to do with his behavior.

Don't you think it immature find the premature death of a king funny? It was always traditional for a king reign a country, beside which, the young king did ultimately allow a Queen reign, although the traditional laws of primogeniture would still require that the first-born son would always be king.

Perhaps you would like pause for thought before mocking the traditions and customs of another country and culture?

2

Leave it to you Hippiechick58. Props.
I bought 2 properties with acreage so I don't have to deal with humanity. One is located in a sparsely populated area. I have self defence training so I worry little for myself. My advise to "him"? DON"T!

Jeez.
Between you & @hippiechick58 , I'm going to stay in my compound.
😉

@bigpawbullets That's where I stay. In my compound. Haven't had any trouble with males since 1998. Don't leave the compound. It's dangerous out there. =0}

@Countrywoman
We've grocery delivery available from our local supermarket & pharmacy. And of course, there's always Amazon. So you rarely need to leave "The Compound". But we do. We acknowledge the dangers out "There", and have taken steps to mitigate them.

2

Thank-you for posting this. It brings up many emotions and memories that remind me that I am often not careful enough (regardless of that fact that I shouldn't have to be)

2

Unfortinately women have to be supper careful. Men not much. Its not fair.

2

Great post...Absolutly great.

1

Can we at least mention the elephant in the room? That being how religion has instructed the cultural values so that women withhold sexual availability. Now we have men becoming mass murderers in response to their frustration.

As long as the underlying issues are self-censored, we shouldn't expect any improvement, and indeed, a worsening.

The corollary is that women also suffer as a result of their fear and inhibitions.

To some extent I agree, however, men should never "expect" that a woman will have sex with them. It has to be equal choice with equal veto. I may choose to have sex with you, but if you say no, then no is no, and vice versa. It is never a given that either side will choose to say yes. And I agree about religion. Religion has fucked everything up. And if men choose to be mass murderers from frustration, then something is really wrong with their socialization skills.

1

Interestingly enough I just finished reading "The Power" by Naomi Alderman. It's a futuristic novel about just this kind of role reversal.

Front cover blurbs include Margaret Atwood and Barack Obama.

1

That must be a powerful learning experience for the men. Thanks!

1

Thank you, I never heard that before.

1

Thank you for the reminder.. I do try and have empathy for this, but its good to see things from another's point of view every so often.

1

This is excellent. Thanks for sharing

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