Someone's getting more excited every day!

This is a poem I had written for a very good friend he is all about the absurd and thought you might enjoy it.
Monsters amuck:

Is that a vampire chewing on a rock? I ought to tell him you can't get blood out of a rock.

Did that werewolf just buy a razor and cream? I ought to tell him he is fighting endless plight.

Frankenstein in the Home Depot looking for WD-40? I ought to tell him just replace that hardware.

Theft at the corner pharmacy, mummy needs bandages? I ought to tell him just use some bed sheets it causes less damages.

Zombie chasing a caboose? I ought to tell him brains, not trains.

Can that ghost really be a host? I ought to tell her she needs a body.

Watch that witch, is she sweeping again? I ought to tell her that brooms for riding.

Lost his bridge did that troll? I ought to give it a phone with GPS.

Yo ho ho pirates lost his rum? I ought to hail him a ride.

Superhero can't locate his/her cape? I ought to give them a plate of crapes.

Lazybones skeleton? I ought to give him an appointment with a chiropractor.

That goblins a hobbling? I ought to give it a crutch.

Knights armor lost its glamor? I ought to sell him a hammer.

I am not halloween fan, and I don't buy candy for the kids because I will just eat it. So I invert my recycling bin on my sidewalk and tape a sign to it that says "Sorry, no candy". And I keep the outside lights off. It seems to work. I will be going to a pumpkin patch in mid October, because the babies are going.