Agnostic.com

42 1

Quick question. What do you guys think of people who don't drink alcoholic beverages for nonreligious purposes but will consume maybe a wine cooler or two a year? Women, does it make you uncomfortable if your date doesnt drink alcohol?

MrChange 7 Oct 8
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

42 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

9

I'm an alcoholic, been sober for nearly three years now. I hope I'm not judged for it, but I know I will be.

Doubt it. Unless you tell someone. Its actually more commendable that you recognized there is a problem

@josh_is_exciting Thank you. Thank you to everyone here. I'm lucky to have the support of my partner, especially after dumping $1K+ worth of Scotch down the drain when she was out of the apartment (it was an especially bad time for me - this was the moment 3 years ago that I knew I had become an alcoholic and knew I needed to do away with it).

I’m judging you. In a good way. You saw a weakness in yourself that you knew was going to be hard to fix, but you did it anyway. That’s a good thing.

I judge you but I’m a positive light! It’s damn hard to get and stay sober. Kudos to you!

I have fewer issues with those that have reached that point and have to stop for themselves. Kind of a demonstration of will, so good for you.

When pressed on it I can (and have) stopped completely however not sure I will do it again. Never say never but I don't see the point in stopping again for the reasons I did.

6

Many people don't drink for non-religious reasons. Some of us just don't see the point and consider it a waste of money and a detriment to good health.
Why would anyone be uncomfortable just because someone doesn't drink?

Some people feel awkward having a drink around non-drinkers, and some people need a drink or two to take the edge off of first date nerves.
I drink, but I prefer not to on a first date. That has resulted in a couple of awkward moments.

5

No, I'm in recovery..12 years, not for alcohol, for heroin,...my point is drink, don't drink...just don't be creepy

Lol. I'll try not to be?

Congrats on 12 years!!

4

I don’t drink alcohol at all, never have my entire life. I find that this lifestyle choice sometimes makes people more uncomfortable than if I would come out and say I was an alcoholic! Over the years people have told me, “why don’t you just carry a drink around to fit in?” or “you’ve just never found the right drink for you!“ and even “guys would definitely be more attracted to you if you had a glass of wine or a beer, your not drinking makes them uncomfortable.” Sometimes it feels a lot like people who try to push their religion!! (At 42 years old, it still happens)

Trust me I know. I'm trying to understand why they do that.

@MrChange I think people push drinking because they feel guilty about their own drinking. Same with non vegetarians and meat.

I can relate to this. I am always the odd one out because I don't drink at all. Quite often people, when they find this out, will then try and convince to drink. Some even get visibly irritated with me when I refuse to play their silly game. I put it down to their insecurities.

4

Actually, i would feel comfortable if he doesnt drink.

4

It doesn't bother me. I like to drink, but seldom do so. Rarely more than once a week, and that's typically with my cigar buddy. I drink so little because of the detrimental effect it has on health. At some point I will likely cut down to just a few times a year.

4

since i don't drink alcohol myself, why should i think ill of someone else who doesn't? the people of whom i think ill are the pushers: aw come on, just one! one won't hurt you! come on, party pooper! dontcha wanna have a good time? well, yeah, but i can have a good time without alcohol, and if for some reason i couldn't, i hope i would be considerate enough not to make someone else feel as if they had to drink.

g

Thank you. I'm tired of pushers. Reminds me of those people who knock on my door in the mornings about god.

@MrChange oooh i don't like people who knock on my door morning on any topic. i don't do morning. in fact i don't answer doors unless i'm expecting a visitor or a delivery. random knockers are ignored.

g

Yeah, I feel like pushers only do that because they’re insecure about their own drinking

@Marcie1974 hmm, i have a different take on it. it's a control thing. drinkers don't trust nondrinkers and think anyone who's in a clearer state of mind is trying to take control; drinkers also sometimes like to control others, as many addicts do. this goes double if the pusher is pushing a woman.

g

4

Having experienced all the fun of being married to a violent drunk, I am Much happier if they drink coffee, or club soda, whrerever we may be.
However, If they remain in control of themselves, I have NO problem, because it is Their choice...i am not their mother!

Agreed

3

I don’t drink alcohol at all. I don’t care for it. I don’t mind if someone I’m with drinks some but not excessively enough that it affects their behaviour. I would prefer to spend time with people who don’t drink.

3

My best friend rarely drinks, she just doesn’t like the way it makes her feel. Makes no difference to me either way

3

Not at all! I don't drink much either, use my calories sparingly. I'd much rather enjoy a clear mind, not clouded by alcohol for a great conversation!

Agreed

3

I'm not bothered by non-abusing drinking. About half the people in my life like to drink fairly frequently, though I don't believe any of them have a problem. Which is to say I believe it is merely indulgence, not dependency.

The others are either moderate social drinkers, limited by health concerns, or like me they never drink and never have.

I'm really only bothered by people who take my lack of drinking as a challenge, and don't stop trying to get me to drink.

3

I don't have a problem with social drinking as long as it doesn't lead to stupid behavior due to overconsumption. I am not a teetotaler nor of prohibitionist mindset. When a person loses control over their own behavior and starts impacting others negatively, then it is a problem.

I would rather my date have his full faculties and concentrate on me rather than be numbed or unable to perform by drinking. I have the same standards for myself and drink sparingly most of the time. A wine cooler? Might as well be a soda pop...ha ha ...

3

Doesn't bother me if he doesn't. I've gotten where I don't enjoy the taste of most alcohol anymore but wouldn't mind a wine cooler.

Agreed.

3

I don't drink except on special occasions. I put that in my profile. I don't mind if some one i'm with drinks as long as she handles her limits.

3

i think it comes down to you do you. if you need alcohol to have a good time as opposed to can have a good time with alcohol its a different game i love alcohol my best friend rarely drinks so most of the time we spend time together alcohol free but occasionally alcohol comes into it luckily im a happy genial drunk. Im pretty sure people on dates don't mind someone not drinking as opposed to drinking to much

3

It makes me more uncomfortable when they drink too much liquor. I have never understood people who feel that have to be high to enjoy themselves.

As for me, I very seldom drink because of health reason. Well that and alcoholism/addiction runs rampant in my family.

3

I think alot of religions and their rules are hypocritical. It wouldn't make me uncomfortable because i don't drink either.

3

Each to their own

2

I will admit I find it much more difficult to relate to teetotalers.
However I try to keep an open mind and I understand all the benefits that comes from it so good for them.

@icolan simply because I have drank most of my life and all my best people are also there.
I find it isn't really me putting the kibosh on being friends with people that don't drink but they choose not to want to hang with me.

I guess it is a lifestyle choice for me and lifestyles sometimes don't mesh well

I am friends with people that don't drink...just not alot

2

More than several of the dates I've met online who listed themselves as social drinkers have gotten completely hammered on the first one or two dates. There's not much of a bigger turn off possible.

Agreed!

2

I don't care for the taste of alcohol so on the rare occasions that I drink, it has to be some expensive fruity thing so I pretty much don't drink.

Most of the people I know drink socially but they are accustomed to my abstinence so there is no weirdness

That's awesome

2

Doesn’t bother me at all. I have very little tolerance for it so drink sparingly.

2

I don't drink at all now, for health reasons, but I used to drink an occasional martini glass of fine wine in the evenings. I now would prefer to date someone who doesn't drink, although taking cannabis oil is OK.

I also wouldn't date someone who smoked anything, as the smoke could get into my lungs and belongings.

2

Not much of a drinker myself. I'll drink a couple at the bar when I go out for karaoke night, but that's about the extent of it. Alcoholic beverages could disappear off the face of the earth tomorrow and I really wouldn't care all that much.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:196674
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.