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Should I just give up on the search for love?

After innumerable relationships and a failed marriage, I am feeling like there is no way I will fall in love again, definitely if I try again I would with someone that shares my godless point of view of the world. That is the only thing I haven't try yet. ?

  • 13 votes
  • 2 votes
Granateo 4 Nov 1
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11 comments

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0

Stop searching and just live your life.

0

I actually don't like your choices for the survey, especially the second one. Love, when you find it, is a most wonderous thing! I have reached a point where I have given up finding it again, though if occasion brought someone into my life I felt attracted too, I would certainly explore the possibility. What I have given up on is the drive to seek it in any meaningful way. I have been alone for going on 12 or more years (when you can't remembe how long, I guess that is a sign of acceptance) and without intimacy for at least three. And these have always been what I considered the most important things in my life. But at my age and given my inability to even get a dinner date, I have come to accept that my puppy will be my closest companion for probably the rest of my days. I spend some time with my ex, my mom and some other female friends, but only because they need my help. I guess being appreciated for that is better than being a hermit, which was an alternative I had considered at one time years back.

2

Why do you have to do one or the other? I figure the odds of me meeting someone compatible enough with no huge red flags at my age are about the same hitting the lottery. I'm neither searching nor giving up. I'm going to live my life in the best way i can do so for me, and keep an open mind. If I happen to meet someone and fall in love, it will be great. If it doesn't happen, I won't have wasted my life sitting around wishing for it.

Deb57 Level 8 Nov 1, 2018

There are plenty of men out there your age without red flags, I'm sure of it. As far as having better odds than the lottery of meeting them, the question is what's your definition of compatible? Even within your area, the stumbling block may be in finding someone among those without red flags that matches your level of good looks or close to it (the all-important minimum threshold of compatibility that is almost taboo for most to discuss). Everybody has their minimum looks standards, most just won't admit it.

@TomMcGiverin Hygiene matters more than actual looks to me. It doesn't matter if a guy is Hollywood gorgeous if he stinks. Men whose looks I have found appealing in the past may or may not have been considered handsome by the standards of others. Character matters far more to me.

@Deb57 I guess I'm lucky that hygiene has never been a problem in women I've met. The thing is, hygiene is something you'll never know about someone until you meet in person while looks is something that you'll at least have a good idea of how they look from a dating site's profile pics before you meet them. That is if the pics are fairly current and they include both a facial close up and a full body pic. Those two things are now kind of standard and expected on the paid sites. If someone's looks don't pass inspection on the site, few people, men or women, will message them with an interest in meeting, no matter how compatible they might seem based on the rest of the profile. As my late icon Leonard Cohen used to say, "That's how it goes.. and everybody knows".

2

44 and good looking? Stop it.

0

If you decide the give up, the possibly finding love again is definitely out !

Try not to close your heart.

0

It's a very individual decision.

I believe most people keep trying because of FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out). Hopefully at some point their expectations about love / romance / marriage become more grounded and less unrealistic and they don't give up as such but don't expect as much / too much from the experience.

And if you get to that point, and you're past a certain age, it could be a rational decision to walk to the end of the path alone. Finding, wooing, winning and figuring out another human being and having that high level of intimacy for the rest of your life starts to look less appealing beyond a certain point.

1

I prefer "wild caught"...old schoolish I guess. I've only been on one online 'meet' though.
Sadly no shortage of interesting on this site I'd meet in a heartbeat if not for extreme geographical challenges entailed.

"They" say proximity & regularity in activities raises your chances of finding love and friendships.
How far are you willing to go effort wise?
Trying to think of avenues where one would be surrounded by viable women where the chances of meeting a non theist are higher, art classes come to mind.
If I wanted to meet a woman that's what I'd do. That or something animal related.

1

I have no intention of quitting despite my age or prior hurts. I’m confident that I will find the right relationship. When?? I don’t know, but it will be another non believer.

0

I can't vote as neither option would be accurate. I've given up but love isn't overrated, love is fantastic, but now romantic love, for me, is not something I have in me.

0

Don't give up your meet someone

sunnn Level 4 Nov 1, 2018
0

If you "Throw in the towel",(give up),and accept being by yourself.is that too bad? I know our society is set up for couples,the Divorced,Widowed/Widowers,and Singles are looked down upon as being unable to find a mate. The large number of dating sites,and others set up for introductions, are just a sign of the interest in $$$ available.

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