That's what you call a needy God.

So I'm cursed. Now what?

A curse be on him...
Looks like the ladies get off free right? Haha

I think I heard this as a child, "If you don't play with me I won't be your friend anymore"

love- ?? ??? ??, if any man not) Paul loves Jesus, do ye also all love Him.—?????) loves with the heart: kisses virtually by his conduct: the corresponding word to ????? is ????????, with a kiss, 1 Corinthians 16:20; for ?????? is used in the sense of kissing,[biblehub.com]
The word here translated love applies to the intimate and familiar personal affection subsisting between individuals, rather than the wider and more general feeling of love usually enjoined in the N. T. I

curse or accursed- The word properly means accursed, or devoted to destruction; and the idea here is, that he who did not believe in the Lord Jesus, and love him, would be, and ought to be, devoted to destruction, or accursed of God.

This word love is actually more literally kissing. If anyone does not kiss the lord and is intimate with him God will destroy you. Evidently God is a very insecure, Jealous, and vengeful lover type according to Paul.

First Corinthians is one of the few books that are considered to be authentic by scholars, That is it is one of the rare cases that it was written by the person that it is said to have been.

Love me or I'll beat the living daylights out of you. Sounds like your average wife beater to me. Or, to repeat another classic joke:

Jesus: Knock knock. Open up.
Why?
So I can save you.
From what?
From what I'm going to do to you if you don't open up.

Yep the Bible has too many ridiculous verses