Yep. Truth. I came into my stepchildren's lives when they were 15 and 16 respectively. Ten years on, the girl, I have been unable to reach; indeed, her mother has been unable. The boy however, has become my favorite human being. He has tremendous integrity, a fantastic work ethic, is respectful, principled, and I now have the privilege of mentoring him in software development in between his undergrad and graduate endeavors -- it dovetails nicely with his interests in math and philosophy, especially modal logic. In two week's time, he officially will be working for me, learning the ropes from the bottom up. When my biological son died just before the Trumpocalypse, this young man of few words came up to me, looked me in the eye, and firmly said, "you still have me". And that meant so, so much.

You just can't be sure of outcomes when it comes to children (or Other People generally). I never know whether to laugh or cry -- my two stepchildren being examples of each of those things. I'll take what I can get ... and let the rest be as it is. There's nothing else for it.

@SaucyCheryl Yeah my stepdaughter is definitely suffering in part from some sort of attachment disorder but I think it is a combination of the social factors mentioned in your linked article and mental health issues. Her failed attachments (to both her biological parents) was in evidence from the beginning, and was simply made worse by social factors. Also, she's a completely different personality from her mother, and in some just universe where children were parceled out to the exact ideal parent for each and every one, I don't think those two would have been paired off. That was (and is) a child who needs to really be sat on, to get substantive push-back and tough love, and frankly neither his mother nor I (nor her biological father) are really equipped for that sort of thing on a sustained basis. Also, shared parenting / divided household is not helpful for that kind of child either. Still, we work with what we have and do our best.

my guess is likely very much like a knee joint replacement, only it is the thumb joint. I used to work in disability claims and I had a dental assistant who had a thumb joint replacement. She was out of work for weeks. I have arthritis pretty bad in my left thumb. If it was my right thumb I'd be considering replacement. As it is I am RHD (right hand dominant) and the left thumb is often kind of redundant.

@SaucyCheryl good luck

@SaucyCheryl That is coming right up, hope it turns out well and you have a speedy recovery. I am going to suck down Aleve from now til the end of time for my thumb. The idea of surgery just doesn't appeal to me. My grandmother was 5'11" and used to complain about "my damn thumb" as she rubbed the base of her thumb on her left hand. So I am 5'5", and I have "my damn thumb." She couldn't have passed on her height, no I got her damn thumb.