How do I approach racism in a friend of mines family
3
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.the approach would depend on how the racism is manifesting itself. an appropriate reaction to, say, referring to someone with the n word would be different from an appropriate reaction to denying someone an apartment, or throwing a stone at someone, or shouting the n word at someone. if you can be specific, that would help. in general, though, if in the presence of a racist remark, it might be appropriate to say "that's not cool. that's a racist remark. i'd prefer not to hear such things, thanks," or something similar in your own words depending on the casualness of your relationship with that family.
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genessa
Level 8
Jan 2, 2019
0
If you value them as a friend, or want to, it's a great idea to share your concern about your friend's behavior. Just remember to use the word "I" way more often than "you." If you share how the behavior makes you feel, it's much less accusatory than "you." Good luck!
MsMagoo
Level 4
Jan 2, 2019
2
Its my friends family, not my friend
As a teacher in rural Michigan, I had plenty of opportunities to address racially insensitivity with my students. Since I had some authority, it was easier to broach. The kids also used language insensitive to people with disabilities (the "r" word) and sexual orientation (the "f" word and using "gay" as derogative.) It was much harder to address the rampant racism exhibited by my co-workers, administrators, and parents. I tried to be kind and gentle.
As a society we need to get rid of the term "politically correct." It has such horrible connotations. I think we can express the same concept with the term "culturally sensitive." It will take a while for the bad juju to build up around that.
schwinnrider
Level 6
Jan 2, 2019
5
Bendog, your Breeze is worth maybe a couple hundred bucks. Girls bikes are generally worth less than boys. I heard that is because girls took better care of their bikes so they aren't as rare in good shape.
The word "gay" had no ill intent until the late 70s. Occasionally, I would get some smartass kid that would corretly tell me that a "faggot" was a bundle of sticks. I would agree with them and tell them it was also a slang term for a cigarette, but that's not what he/she meant when they said it. The word "retard" has become so toxic, we may have to find another word for it in all circumstances. We'll have to "turn back" the spark, etc.
@Bendog The word 'retarded' when describing a person, has been a taboo word in Australia for years. Probably as bad as your 'nigger'. (no offence but it's just plain silly to have unmentionable words like Voldemort). I've found it uncomfortable when I've read american articles using the word retarded. Words and their meanings are fluid as we have clearly seen with the word 'gay'. Society must keep up. Though personally even if you call me a cunt....I won't give a rat's arse because I refuse to let a bunch of symbols and a verbal sound disconcert me.
Cut 'em loose.
KKGator
Level 9
Jan 2, 2019
1
You don’t abandon a friend because their family sucks
@A2Jennifer I didn't say to abandon a friend. The question was what to do about their family? I said to cut the family loose, not the friend.
They aren't the poster's family, he doesn't have
to interact with them if he doesn't want to.
@KKGator gotcha- I just don’t think of that as severing ties in the way your statement sounded to me.
@A2Jennifer Which is fine, you are free to do as you please. I have no problem with severing ties with anyone. I've learned that sometimes, you just have to do that. No crying, or gnashing of teething, just cleanse your life of those who are toxic.
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