Differing personas can exist in real life, depending upon the social context, too. I have spent time in real life with people I had met and gotten to know online. My impressions of them and they of me were that we seemed the same in real life. So while what you say I'm sure does happen just so, it isn't an absolute.

Ibid!

An interesting take on dancing...
[psychologytoday.com]

@NaturalBornCynic I agree 100%. Always been like that for me. I had to see that body language when the music comes up. If she can't feel it. I am not interested and yet I know my next significant other is not going to be met in the dance floor. And I am willing to explore why some women can't feel the music. I may be Very Disappointed wasting my time in such an Animal but I reckon must be in my bucket list of lust, desire and failure to experience.

I agree...honesty is key. With that said, maybe we can start with an honest and current profile picture. (I took mine the day I joined the site.) Just saying...

eHarmony does seem to have a better understanding of the attibutes of online dating. However, the price you pay is steep and you need to be on the website for a long period of time. I still find that socializing in Meetups and other social venues is the way to go. Unfortunately, not everyone has these types of social events in thier location.

@sciteachmd I have my doubts that such social venues would be very useful for introverts.

This is the element I see missing from other dating sites. The formalized contact doesn't allow for just sitting in a room and chatting with everyone (what we'd do in an offline setting), getting to know each other and gravitating towards some and away from others until some realize there must be a reason they keep 'bumping' into each other.

I believe this why we have so much office romance. You get to know each other through a non-romantic means. Then you start to just gravitate together until... you give a relationship a whirl.

We don't seem to have that natural 'melting pot' in our society anymore (America), at least not for all of us. For my part:

I don't go to bars: smoke and, usually, noise.

I don't go to dance places: I don't dance and they are too loud to talk/converse with people and get to know them. In the end, you really only know what they look like and how well they dance.

I don't go to church: I don't believe. I must expand on this one: one of my stepmoms told me to go to church to find a girl/woman/wife. I replied that I would be lying and what kind of relationship would that lead to? I mean, if I haunt a church, it would be a natural assumption that I was a believer. Even if I told them up front that I wasn't, they'd still be questioning my attendance at church. Either I would be lying (I would) or I was a believer who was unsure of his beliefs... no matter how I sliced it, it seemed wrong to me. Fortunately, she was impressed with my desired honesty and analysis.

So much more... but, the fact is that we have become separatists unless you partake in the above activities that can often be seen as illicit. Which is sad.

I wish we were like Germans. You go to a restaurant, pick a likely seat, maybe next to someone who looks interesting and ask "ist hier frei?" "Is this seat taken." If they say yes it is, you move on. If they don't, you sit down at the table, with the other guests, and eat. Pubs are where people get together in a community and talk... not blare out loud music and NOT talk. If we did this, it would open up restaurants as a social place to get to know... anyone... then let gravity do it's thing.

This website is a wonderful improvement over other online dating venues. It is one of it's kind, innovative, and overflowing with great attributes. Perhaps this is the solution!

I feel this way too. I used to drink quite heavily but stopped and my life is so much better alcohol free. But I also lost my friends. I can’t hang around people who drink to get wasted and can only have a conversation with me when they’re drunk. It’s like asking a recovering heroin addict to still hang out with his heroin buddies. It doesn’t work.

I wasted over 20 yrs on drinking. I’ve never been on a true first date. I’ve never been intimate sober. Life is so much different for me now that I don’t ever want to go back there.

But the older you get the harder it is to make new friends and get into a long-term commitment. We meet people through friends, at work, or church. Church is a big no-no for me. Like you said I’d just be lying. It’s especially difficult for me because I’m disabled due to depression and I don’t have those outlets to meet people. It’s also hard on dating sites because the first thing people want to know is “what do you do?” We seem to value that quite highly.

I like how this site is setup. I can be me and if I spark someone’s interest that’s great!

@Gnarloc

Well said.

@jlynn37 Thank you.

I'm a newbie. I'm only less than two months into this and I'm having a blast.

Jennifer, coming from an 'experienced' on line dater, your rules are spot on!