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My godless Facebook friend is dying.

She was in a 9-day induced coma and her family ignored the DNR paperwork.

She has pain and blood flow issues in her legs.

It's that blood cancer white cell/red cell production dealy snafu I can never remember the name of.

Earlier last year when she started to experience more ups and downs.... in the middle of the chat, she wrote, "I don't want to die."

Our interactions are a surreal mix of the trivial and the profound. Just like normal, except for the fact that she's now living on borrowed time.

Believer friends I tell pray for her, and offer prognostications of, "She'll be alright, I just know it."

We would always text each other on a delayed schedule anyway, but now when I see she's made her Words With Friends play, or any "proof of life," my heart soars.

We've also had mutual friends just drop dead essentially, so it's never been one-size-fits-all as far as dealing with mortality.

She's a truly wonderful rationalist, and we've often acknowledged that our overriding concern and empathy is that children are spared the brutal realities of life as much as possible. But understanding that at least when one becomes an adult, even a young one, there's the comprehension of the tragic nature life itself entails, along with the joys.

She's my age (60's) and has been varying degrees of sick through most of it. If it was a pet, you'd console yourself that it wasn't a bad run overall and it included much love. Though valid for people as well, the sting seems less easily assuaged by such notions, particularly contemplating it with her, still being here and all.

Not looking for any comfort or sympathy, just sharing a reminder that we're each of us pretty awesome people, able to face life on its own terms.


"Everything will be alright in the end, so if it is not alright, it is not the end.”

WilliamCharles 8 Jan 11
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She just recently shared this with me so I have a better idea of what she's dealing with. She's still hanging in there, still struggling, and still kicking my tail in WWF (though I've come back from <10% win rate to around 20%). Oh... and it's recently been determined her husband has Alzheimer's.

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Thank you everyone for your warm and thoughtful comments. I did not upvote them individually as I was afraid that might seem a bit self-serving on my part.

I was unsure if I would share this with her or not, but the opportunity presented itself. She said she got quite choked up and merely added, "You get me."

She is still in the hospital and struggles with a will to live as she says she feels she has no "purpose." I simply listen and leave it at that.

She said she is moved by your comments as well. Even my believer friends' prayers. My one believer friend thought I might be mocking her, but I told her that was not the case. I said people showing care and compassion is always welcome, regardless of what framework it involves. And as the saying goes with chicken soup, "It couldn't hurt." I have no particular insight into the ways of the universe.

I'll also have you know she continues to kick my ass in Words with Friends. I'm lucky to maintain a 10% win rate with her, and I use an online cheat. I tell her she's a "berserker" (she truly is) at this particular word game. In sports, they'd say she was running up the score. She has no problem with that, often beating me by a couple of hundred points. There is no lead I can have that is too big for her not to come from behind. She is quite amazing. I chalk it up partially to her being a musician, as I feel their brains are wired differently.

So our friendship and interactions take place as it always has... one day at a time. I am immensely grateful for every second of that time, and feel quite honored to be thought of by her as someone who brings joy and meaning to her life as well. I'm also quite certain that I would not like her letting me win either. That's not the way it's supposed to work.

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Thank you for sharing....

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You speak so eloquently, I felt your affection for your friend. All we can ask from life is that we are loved and your love for her speaks volumes and is a testamony to the person she is. Hugs to you as you need them too. Xxx

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Exotic marigold hotel . U r right .

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Thank you for sharing. It’s good to speak your mind.

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That's a lovely poem. I'm sad for you & your friend though.

Carin Level 8 Jan 11, 2019
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