There is absolutely a fear of men in a lot of women. I think this is a new thing, but some women seem to think the only men who aren't serial rapists are murderers. I don't see this as only a problem with males. This fear is almost completely irrational but instead of being a mental illness it is supported by society. An entire gender is being judged by some of our worst examples.
The point is a cat lady who can barely leave the house isn't due to men and girls who freak out by approach or even persistence are responsible for their feelings not some guy hitting her up.

It's sad the way things are going. Persistent predators like Weinstein, Cosby and Spacey needed to be exposed, but once the Internet vigilantes get a taste of blood, they start widening their sights. The next thing you know, they're ripping into anyone who may have made a clumsy drunken pass at someone, once, 40 years ago (such as the allegation being made against George Takei at one point.)

If anyone claims they no longer understand the rules, they're ridiculed. This means that we don't get to the bottom of what is and isn't acceptable behaviour these days. No, a man can't randomly walk up to a woman and pinch her behind anymore. That's perfectly reasonable. But it's got to the point where even continuing a conversation after being told 'no' amounts to sexual harassment.

How many people are happily married to someone who didn't take 'no' for an answer the first time they were told it? There is a thrill of the chase for both sides in the human mating ritual, and I feel we're in real danger of destroying it in the name of political correctness.

I don't think I'd put my hands up but I do find it really awkward to approach a girl I'm attracted too. It has nothing to do with #MeToo and I think people have broadened that out way too far - we know what abuse looks like and a bit of flirting or asking for a number isn't that. For me, I'm a bit shy and I find it hard to read whether there is interest from the other person - and I just think the girl might be weirded out by it and not appreciate the approach. That's probably not the case at all but it just feels weird unless you can start a natural conversation first and judge if they are interested in you.

It's interesting, and enlightening to hear women's perspectives on this whole subject. The answer is a big YES, we're now paranoid as fuck. And I'm not even on the look-out for a female partner.

It takes nothing more than an accusation to ruin a man's life. This misuse of the the #meetoo movement could end up being its undoing.

And interestingly, the most criticism for this observation comes from men, even here in this web site.

Wow. If ever I get back in the game I'm going to try that approach, "Stay calm. I mean you no harm."

I tend to try and be cautious because I'm a pretty big guy and I always get told that I look mean. I don't want to scare women, especially when it's just me and the woman in a certain area with nobody else around. I've felt this way before Weinstein and Cosby though lol

I don't think starting up a conversation with a stranger akin to an Ailes, O'Reillys, Weinstein, etc. behaviour.

I see no problem with starting up a conversation with women. (Going the next step and asking for a date when the social situation, content of the conversation, flow of the conversation, etc. doesn't suggest the conversation as a pick up is another thing again. But not a #metoo moment.)

But it's telling of some men that think a casual conversation could be misunderstood as sexual harassment.

Approaching a complete stranger to ask for a date and/or phone number is not appropriate behavior in any situation. I'm old school when it comes dating. If I meet someone somewhere and a conversation happens to strike up, I don't take that as any interest outside of a good conversation between two people. I very well may say that I hope to run into the person again, and if lucky enough we may cross paths again. After I have had some interaction with someone under these circumstances, I ask questions to get more info about their situation (significant other, relationship status, etc.) and then decide if it is appropriate to suggest a date. I never blindly ask someone for a date without knowing if they are single first. And assuming otherwise is plain bad form. Respect goes a long way.

I meet women online like a normal person...

For me to approach a woman IRL, I have to be single and there would have to be some serious signals going on. If she said no, I'd back off.

I was reading the police report in my old Hometown, small town weekly paper. A woman called in to report a man smiled at her in a parking lot. The police investigated, but could not find a smiling man.

Men are pretty unsecure animals. True story... first girl I met in Crete... she was from Norway. I been drinking... I approached her and she say hi... I attempt to speak to her and spit on her by mistake of course due intoxication... her reaction is as expected... You spitted on me! So I just said... I am sorry, I been drinking and I am Puerto Rican I am used to Rejection. She said you are Puerto RIcan? Figure out the rest of the story but what I meant to say to the guys is watch "Carlito's Way" and the scene when his girl tell him... "if you don't get in, you don't get it". I had met women in the most ridiculous ways. But the key is... I had met them. I had Royally Fumbled on first dates, like spilling a drink on her on our first thing, we still got married and had 3 kids together. Just be Sensitive to know when She Said No, she meant No. And Remember... "You show me the most beautiful woman in the world and I will find you a man tired of her shit". We are Nothing but Humans after all... Flawed Humans.

I think it's become more and more difficult to speak to a woman without seeming like a complete perv. Which is sad, because I think a lot of great things in life can happen spontaneously and at random. The nicest women I have met appeared in my life when I stopped trying to find them.

Men don't approach me.

I think it depends on where the niceties take place. I can't really stand the idea of being nice to women at work because of fear. It is easier at a bar. Life was easier in high school when I wasn't afraid to hit on my fellow students. I had a gorilla pimp friend who would walk up to a single girl and just make out with her. He was ugly but it worked sometimes.

While I tend to believe most accusations of grossly unnappropriate behavior towards some simply because of the number of accusers, I also tend to be outraged at the potential for abuse by some women who might not be truthful, and I am still a believer in "due process". Case-in-point: Duke lacrosse team. Just sayin'.

It makes me more nervous about doing it tbh. There are some that are sensible about these things, but I’ve known instances where people just saying they are interested and asking someone out was seen as sexual harassment. To me if you’ve done it respectfully, and the answer is no and you backed off, it isn’t. Also I’ve found if you dare to have this opinion, you’re often shot down as being ‘part of the problem’. As society in general though we’ve become scared of real life interaction. You try to strike up a conversation with a stranger on the bus and you’re considered weird nowadays.

I'm not worried about legel stuff, just about not knowing how to go about flirting. I guess I could watch a youtube video or something, but I'd rather just connect in an intellectual way.

A terrifying situation is now made worse as you have to worry if the lady you are interested in us going to call the police f she doesn't like you

I had a woman on a dating site that I messaged and introduced myself and asked about flea markets in her town. She answered with just no so I asked about antique shops in the area. Got the answer back that if I didn't quit harassing her she'd report me.

I can see that approaching women in isolated places can be very confronting and do not recommend it. I have no concerns approaching women in public places, not that I do so to ask them out. In 3 organisations I have been the person to whom sexual misconduct could be reported, in each case it was female staff who made the request. My title at one company was "Sexual Harassment Officer" with the comment that if anyone wanted to be harassed they should come to me, but that no-one else in the organization was permitted to hassle the girls. It was partly tongue in cheek, but also recognition that things were not as good as they should be. I did cause a couple of managers to lose their jobs for misconduct. To be honest, things are bad, guys have brought this on themselves, but looking back over the past 50 years, many many women and girls actively encouraged behaviour that is not acceptable any more. As a junior I was groped many times by female staff, both my age and much older.The world has changed. I believe for the better, I hated working with sleazebags.

Well, if you work at the same place, treat it like a minefield. If you are in any position of power over them, they should be off limits, period.

If they are a random person, use some common sense and treat any decline as permanent. If they are interested they will make it happen.

If you are friends or something outside of work, then they should be able to handle some flirtation.

Guys should also remember that simply accusing someone of impropriety is a huge thing, people rarely do it without good cause.

The grey areas are when there is some mutual interest, but the circumstances of life simply get in the way. Just stay in touch and let life move on.

Fear of rejection maybe, at least in my experiences

I am usually reserved. I hate rejection, so avoid its possibilities as a basic behavior. However, if a woman is friendly, I will respond with like-kind behavior. I will even admit that I like it when a woman pays attention to me - I'm usually responsive (if I'm available). If I'm not available, I'll accept friendship if I find her attractive.

It definitely make me think twice, especially at work. I think these a-holes like Weinstein deserve it, but it certainly sends a chill down my spine. I have worked with some real batshit crazy women in my past. It goes both ways.

Probably fear of rejection. I flirt a lot! But never seem to go past that.