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I just lost my brother yesterday and needless to say it’s been a long difficult week. What I dread the most are the stupid comments that people make, like, “ God just needed another angel.” I just have to be prepared for all the typical remarks you get when a loved one passes. ?

Jewelee65 6 Jan 20
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27 comments

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3

They mean well and don't know what els to say. You can always say something like "I hardly think he will get into heaven with his track record", that will shut them up.

Lmao...I would, except he really was a beautiful person ?

@Jewelee65 Yes, I am sorry that he is gone for you, what I said was only an example I could not think of anything else at the spur of the moment.

3

Try to look past the foolishness they express and take the comments as expressions of sympathy, nothing more.

2

I am so dreadfully sorry.

2

I'm so sorry for you loss.

2

I am sincerely sorry for your loss.

2

I'm sorry, xoxo ❤.

2

Just remember you are in control of your life and how you grieve. No one knows your personal pain. I, we, wish you all the best. Ignore the unthinking ones the best that you are able. Keep opening up if that helps.

2

Very sorry for your loss.

I wish you the strength you will need to get through it all.

2

I'm very sorry that you have lost your brother. Wishing you all the comfort possible.

Deb57 Level 8 Jan 21, 2019
2

My sincerest sympathy, Jewel! It really is hard to know what to say, especially if the person has not experienced that kind of loss themselves.

Carin Level 8 Jan 21, 2019
2

Condolances. A sibbling is as close as one gets.

You are right Tom, I lost my parents but was not expecting the loss of my brother to be much more painful.

2

Sorry for your loss, sweetie. I don’t know how to deal with these people either.

1

Sorry for your loss. Lost my oldest bro to a rare bone cancer 14 years ago. He was 67. He was also a fundamentalist Christian, but for some reason I didn't hear the "another angel" meme. I think it was because the cancer was so violently aggressive that it was kind of embarrassing to their favored story arc of how things are "supposed" to go for a godly church elder.

I’m sorry for your loss as well. I’m getting a lot of, “I’ll pray for you, “ right now. I just want to say thanks for nothing, but I just keep my mouth shut and try to believe they mean well. Thank goodness my brother wasn’t very religious and loves Star Wars. I will end his eulogy with a nice quote from Yoda. Best to you!

1

Contact a local Hospital,they have many people who will help you in he grieving process,I lost my wife of 27 years in 2017,she was under hospice care,not a penny was spent by me for her care.

I think you mean "local hospice". I'm dubious a hospital would be any help. But can't say enough good things about hospice grief counseling. Or hospice in general, although people typically way under-utilize it.

@mordant Yes local hospice care,got involved in the structure,and forgot that item.

1

So sorry for your loss. People don't know what to say, unfortunately, having experienced that myself. Sometimes the best thing anyone can do is just be an ear for someone who's grieving. At any rate, take care of yourself.

1

I am so sorry for your loss. Hugs from all of us here. It hard to endure all the stupid things people during a time of loss. Sigh. One day at a time , and hang on to those cherished memories.

Ohub Level 7 Jan 21, 2019
1

Even though cut short, you were fortunate to have each other. Cherish the memories.

1

If ever there was a time it is ok to tell people to stuff it, this is it. They're saying it to make themselves feel better, not you. I say, let it fly.

1

I agree with you - It was in God's plan and stupid shit like that. My sister lost her 6yo son and she is very religious. She said she gifted him to God. Now granted it make it easier to accept. The reality was that during pregnancy she was told he was unlikely to live long because of a brain malformation.

Very sad. So much pain in this world. I know some people feel comfort believing in this stuff. Honestly, it just make me realize how precious life is and how important it is to spend the time I have left with loved ones. ❤️

@Jewelee65 Yes life can be gone in a snap.

1

How tragic. My condolences to you at your time of loss.

1

It may not seem like it, but There are enough people of reason in this world that you don't have to associate with people who say such things. There is nothing morally wrong with cutting them out of your life. They will find someone else, and so will you.

1

Sometimes you just have to grit your teeth and remember that idiots may be idiots, but they often MEAN well, even when they're saying something really annoying.

"God has granted your brother his blessing, and an eternal place of joy beside him among the stars!"

AAAAARG! You're a moron! But... you're a moron who is TRYING to give comfort, even though you're making a pig's ear out of it.

So...

Grit teeth. Smile sweetly. Resist the temptation to punch on the nose

"Thank you. You're most kind."

1

I am so sorry, Jewelee. I know it's hard, and almost everything that almost everyone says will sound pat and/or ridiculous. Those of us who have lost someone close to us know there really is no getting over that loss--and you wouldn't want to--but even those of us who don't know you at all hope to ease your pain as much as it can be eased. Take car.

1

Sorry for your loss and sorry about these people but they unfortunately don't know any better!

1

I wish I could take your pain away and bring your brother back. Warmest hugs..???

So sweet...thank you❤️

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