Ugh, went out to dinner with a girlfriend and her kids a couple months ago, to my great horror she said grace at the table...in the restaurant. I'd never seen anyone do that in a restaurant in my life.
She somehow spared us an encore at a coney island that's barstool/counter style.

ps(she knows I'm an atheist)

I don't really react to people saying God has been good because that's fairly common in my area but someone saying Grace would be awkward, at least if we were in public. If we were having a private meal, I would understand but I'd also probably explain that I wasn't really interested in joining them and that I prefer to start meals without a prayer and let them deal with that however they will. When people get to the point that they go against societal conventions to live their religious ideals, I think that's where you can be certain they will be a problem in a relationship.

Your reaction may be less about the mere facts of what they're doing than all the often smarmy and unctuous subtext that goes along with it. It's a form of virtue-signaling probably, but ironically a compliment in a way in that they're saying, I hope you're like me so that's not a barrier to getting closer.

Unfortunately they are so afraid of catching atheist cooties that it doesn't generally end well. They have been conditioned from the cradle to run the other way from open unbelief. Some of them can tolerate (and even, occasionally, admit to) minor doubts but not someone who has outright adopted unauthorized Views.

My wife was spiritual and religious and it did not bother me at all. But someone who was in-your-face about it, that would bother me.

We had a ritual we used to do before dinner. Hold hands in a circle around the table, close eyes, take a couple breaths together. Now raise hands and say "HO!" together. I liked it as a way to end the hustle and bustle of the day and getting food on the table, slow down, draw a line in time and say "now we are ready for intimate family time."

In fact I sometimes still do this ritual before dinner with friends or family. It's not religious at all for me, but perhaps some others see it differently.

Maybe some Christians use the prayer before the meal as this same divider. They just junk it up with some un-necessary words. Similarly, many of us still swear by (or at) a god we don't believe in. Just a cultural habit.

Can you look past the words and see the intention? If her intention is good, if she is willing to keep her beliefs her own and let you keep yours, can that be enough?

I can relate. I find myself intensely curious as to why a person continues to persist in their supernatural beliefs, and that is very distracting. I guess I'm so far from religion now that I can't even make sense of it anymore.

Maybe it's just me, but I am not bothered by anyone if they say 'grace' or pray.

As long as they don't start throwing bible verses at me, we're good.

Before considering going out on a date with ANYONE, I usually let folks know where I stand on religion and the talks of it to avoid scenerios like this.

unmet expectations are problematic. you expected no big deal, but it could be a deal breaker. Don't be surprised if they aren't carrying expectations more heavily than advertised. Are you ever critical of the religious or god idea in the relationship?

Welcome to the asylum. Enjoy your stay.

I think you should trust your instincts. If you feel uncomfortable after hearing a date say anything like what you listed, I think it's for a legitimate reason.

It's one of the reasons I've basically quit dating in general.
I have no further desire to waste my time with the whole thing.

Saying grace would freak me out. Its just not a thing here. When I did the match.com thing I was specific about my politics and religious non-belief. That was never a problem what was, was all the old fellas wanting to get inside my knickers...eeeuuuww oh n the married ones!