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Officially divorced.

Were you:
whew, glad that’s over!
or
damn, here i go again
or
something else when it was official?

  • 16 votes
  • 3 votes
ZenJen 5 Feb 7
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13 comments

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1

I am still sad over my first divorce. the second one was don't let the door hit ya in the butt. the suprising thing is we get along better now. time has helped lol

1

I'm just jealous as hell. I cannot get this man to sign papers. I imagine the feeling will be "whew!"

1

I'm in that weird stage now of will they, won't they work it out. Even two months ago I did not think I would ever get that far.

When I was certain I was all but divorced (even indicated it on here) I was ... scared. It took a long time for me to get over the thought that I had screwed up, I always wanted to only ever do it once and that was gone.

Gradually that left and I was just ... empty. I had to learn about where I went wrong, where I didn't, and how to give a shit again.

Now we've entered that stage where we're talking. I've told her what I would need from her to make it work and, if she follows through, I may toss those papers away. It's difficult, but I can see why some people are thrilled to have it done. Being married is work, hard work, and you really have to give a damn about it to make it work.

1

Both times.

2

We were both ready and glad. We had very little, so we got an amicable divorce in KY where I was stationed. Filed Thursday, paper proof received Tuesday. Still friends 8 years later. Life is weird.

Mr13 Level 3 Feb 7, 2019

Mine has been fighting me for 18 months. So tired.

@Minta79 sorry to hear that.

0

Neither. My first wife left me for another and did the divorce proceedings. All I had to do was see a JAG (military lawyer) for separation papers. All she wanted was her clothes and some money. I knew she had absolutely no sense of money and, although we had over $10K in the bank I offered her $500. She thought she would get one over on me and asked for a whooping $600 instead (she probably thought it was $1,000 and not $10,000). I later got the marriage annulled.
The second partner and I were not married so all she was entitled to was her equity in the house and a small division of property.The painful part was the year I spent dealing with her relapse in alcoholism. So none of the above (I know I was lucky ). Unfortunately, both partners ended up losing.

2

Glad I did not have to go to prison for homicide.

2

I just went back to work like it was another day. Mine happened right after lunch. But it was good riddance!!!

3

Overwhelming sense of loss of years wasted...
taken advantage of? Grief over lost dreams and plans....
crushing loneliness....
cheated out of something that others seem to find...
disbelief over it all
confused as to how he could....do everything he did...
Terrified at the prospect of having to date again...
Unsure as to how to ever trust my judgement again...

Existential crisis....

Hopefully, you have been able to let go and get on with your life. Letting go has helped me get ahead and thrive despite my losses (which, in the end were not really losses but gains).

@JackPedigo I still go to counseling every week. Seeing a new future has been hard....and the loneliness is still crushing on most days. I function better as part of a "team".

@SkotlandSkye I'm an older Widower,lost my wife of 27 years to cancer last Sept 2017,a good marriage,no fights or power struggles,I was #3 husband for her,she was my first wife, Kathy(my late wife) said many times"Third times the charm". Dating is like walking blindfolded through a minefield barefoot,one false move and it blows up..... Are expectations so high,no one will work on the obvious problems?

@SkotlandSkye Sorry it was traumatic. I do understand the "loneliness" "team" parts. Just so you know (or already do) I was 53 when I met my late partner. Those 16 years were the best years of my life. There is still time, just be patient and open. We can be our own worst enemies.

This is very relatable

1

Relief + depression

2

Able to breathe freely.

4

Everyone will have thier own experiences because what lead up to thier divorce will be different. In my instance, there was no hate, no third party. I felt a mix of emotions but mostly sad for my sons and thier loss of a full time father. I had no intention of mourning for myself, I know my worth.

3

Congratulations.
Now you are free to move on with your life.
Be grateful. Be bold.
Do something good for yourself.

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