Agnostic.com

21 6

I recently confronted a family member that tended to give me a look of disgust every time I mentioned my disbelief in religion. Ever since I claimed non belief, this person has gradually tried to distance themselves from me and the gap between us just kept on growing. We used to be close. So I asked them what their problem was. Context: I was talking to them about me meeting other like minded people because I felt very ostracize in my community and alone.
Me: What's your problem with me?
Them: Nothing.
Me: Why are you giving me that look of disapproval then?
Them: I don't like it that you put a label on yourself and are associating with a cult.
Me: Cult?! What are you talking about?
Them: Scientology. You're like Tom Cruise or something.
Me: Never once did I say I was a scientologist, where are you getting this?
Them: You talk about science a lot and like hanging around people who do the same. Atheists and Scientologists are one in the same.
Me: Wow. Atheists and Scientologists are not the same. Scientology has nothing to do with science despite the title, just like astrology is not astronomy.
Them: Aren't you joining with those people to perform rituals and practice your ideology?
Me: My goodness why are you so clueless? The only thing someone has to do to be an atheist is to lack belief in god(s). That's it stop adding more to it. There are no rituals, no doctrines, no atheist handbook. Atheists can be Liberal, Conservative, or Libertarian. They subscribe to any philosophy that they want.
Them: Then what do you do? (END)
At that point I realized that they have a preconceived idea of what an atheist is. They did not understand how someone could not have any absolute doctrines or rituals and put that onto the word atheist because they could not comprehend it even after I told them that we're absolutely not scientologist. Any thoughts or advice?

AustinSkepticus 7 Feb 24
Share

Enjoy being online again!

Welcome to the community of good people who base their values on evidence and appreciate civil discourse - the social network you will enjoy.

Create your free account

21 comments

Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.

7

Sorry can't give advice but that cracked me up you talk about science so you are a scientologist !!

5

Never underestimate the human inability to think outside of its own values and experiences. Those who can't function without religious guidance often can't imagine that anyone else possibly could.

5

That sucks! Might be a small comfort to know that you might be able to break the stereotype that he and others around you have made up about us. It's what the LGBT movement did and it seems to be working for them. Might not mean much depending on how much flack you feeling.

JeffB Level 6 Feb 24, 2018
5

Tell them you have a special barbecue sauce just for roasted infants under 6 months old.

Fuck - good for you for educating this person. That needs to happen more, so your forwardness was a very cool thing to act on.

It's quite annoying. Another time they asserted that my position is "knows for sure no god exists with 100% certainty."

5

I love my Atheist Rituals...dancing around a big fire at midnight in the bare scuddy, howling at the moon...but only on a Wednesday....lol

At midnight every Friday I put a colander on my head and praise the Flying Spaghetti Monster (sauce be upon Him) for a future bounty of never-ending pasta.

R’amen @AustinSkepticus

@AwkwardJen R'amen pleased to see others that have been blessed by our lord and savior, the FSM.

4

I love the ones that liken Atheism to Satanism. How can they be so closed minded???

LaVey Satanism is atheism with ritual, the principles are based on humanity as simply animal life.

I dated a Satanist recently. It wasn't his religion that made me break up with him. It was his following of the Satanic bible teachings saying "be the center of your own universe" or something like that. He took it a few steps too far, literally saying "I am never wrong".

You don’t have to believe in Satan to be a Satanic. So a lot of satanist are also atheists. I actually thought about joining when I found out you didn’t have to believe in anything to be a Satanic just so I could have it on my Facebook profile because I thought it would be funny. Plus their commandments aren’t bad. But decided against it because it’s not in my nature to be that provocative and I definitely wouldn’t have been going to Satanic church or whatever it is called

@HC1970FL I have a similar line but with a qualifier. I may not always be right, but I'm never wrong, just misinformed.

3

Is the family member important enough that you work at finding common ground?
From what you wrote, I think your family member wants to understand you.

If so, you take one step at a time. For example, explain how science is good.
Science is an essential part of our everyday lives. Science is the study of everything around us.
Medicines, medical discoveries, cars and trucks are safer now, cell phones, improvements come about because of science.

Finding common ground takes time. Don't give up.

2

If they TRULY want to understand what it is AND isn't, by all means engage, if it's simply lip service and continue treating you differently, then you'd be better off distancing yourself.

2

Well the question, "then what do you do?" is instructive. They are so used to religious practice that they assume every belief must be a form of religious practice. Including atheism. Mix this with ignorance and you end up being identified with Scientology I guess. In his mind all other ("false" ) religions and unbelief are all mixed up in a sort of evil stew.

This is pretty common. Fundamentalists will often say, "everyone worships something, even if it's only themselves". Which is manifestly untrue ... but they can't get their brains around someone who has no need to worship ANYTHING.

You can't fix stupid.

2

It will be difficult to convence this thinker that everything is well and good in your world of atheism. Some of the friends and family that I lost over my belief system never came back into my life and the ones that are still in my life, are guarded and we don't speak about religion. If, you are looking for change and acceptance, you may not have enough time left to see it happen. That is the sad truth. I feel pretty much ok, without the people who cannot accept me (and maybe I felt the same with them, at some point.) Life goes forward, not backwards...

2

I'm not sure I could untangle your friends thought processes in a sentence. The difficulties you are having with him definitely say more about him than you.

1

I hate to see a discussion on a site turn into a bit of an echo chamber when they advertise free-thinking and open-mindedness, so I’ll try to differ on what has already been said. It amazes me that people still are misinformed about basic ideas and philosophies in the age we live in; an age that has been labeled an age of information. It kinda bums me out that they just stick with this preconceived notion of what things are about. I don’t really think we should call it intentional ignorance or stupidity, but rather misinformation. I know it’s hard especially when they give looks like that. I know my family pretty much does the same. I find it hard not to groan when they bring up the Lord or Jesus. It’s just one of those stifling topics. I don’t know you but I can definitely picture the outrage lol without patronizing the person, I would tell them to be a little more humble in their beliefs and respect what you don’t totally know. It may fall on deaf ears if they’re religious, but at least you can say you tried

1

A good defence. As you say, 'Them' was clueless. I do not like attacking a religion or cult - just proving them wrong, but one thing we could collectively do is try to eliminate the use of the word science in the name of their belief. In the UK we also have the 'Christian Science' movement.

We should ask how their science has anything to do with the generally accepted view of what science is, asking them to give examples that justify the use of the word science.

Does anyone know why these two movements, Scientology and Christian Science began using science in their title.

I grew up about 6 miles away from a Christian Scientist reading room. It boggles the imagination.

Scientology was basically started on a bet by a FICTION writer. I can remember when all those books were still classified as fiction. He did really well for himself.

1

Maybe compare it to not believing in Thor? When Thursday rolls around, you don’t don a Viking helmet and go outside looking for lightning. You just go about your business...

I forgot to mention that I brought up atheism also in regard to me clearly being an aunicornist, avampirist, etc. But at least I don't need a word for those. I tried to make it more simple on their mind.

1

I'd distance myself from a relative that constantly brought up something that was obviously intended to rub me the wrong way.

0

Your post is well written! You are obviously an intelligent young man. It is futile to try and make someone understand just like in politics. I would just try to set an example by being a good person.

0

Leave it alone and go on with your life.

0

Why do you waste intelligent time with these people?

0

Talk to more atheists the person knows or is aware of? Steve Jobs, Bill Gates, Daniel Radcliffe and while scientific inquiry is common among atheists... I think it comes up with we find it irrational to believe in a repeated mythologies from earlier times. There are many reasons as to how you would come to not believe in a deity.
You could be pro-life and quote intentional miscarriage that god wanted in the bible. You could not want to be a hypocrite and gain wealth. You could favour one part of history and can not align the history you've read including Crucifixion of which there is no record of Jesus's crucifixion and the possibility of Jesus's existence at all.We know of historical displays of religion such as the crusades and the existence of Martian Luther, Muhhamad's paedophilia, the copyright of the bible turning it into The King James bible.
Half the God things don't align the things that a nice civilized advancing society are said that he would approve of. Which is a pretty impressive feat considering the contradictions within the book that most positive things are the opposite of within the book. Murder isn't okay but killing is War or other 'legal' killing is okay. Idiolistic symbols

0

Sacrifice them to Science?

0

Ok they need to watch at least one episode of this: [aetv.com]😕

And maybe try again with the "Lack of belief in organized religion/gods".

Oh boy.

Write Comment
You can include a link to this post in your posts and comments by including the text q:28599
Agnostic does not evaluate or guarantee the accuracy of any content. Read full disclaimer.