I am the Goofus to everyone else's Gallant

Dear Readers, when you're new in town and there are many, many, oh so very many back roads, do not follow my poor example.
You see, as one drives down dirt road after not-at-all labeled dirt road, one must find landmarks to orient one self. Preferably USEFUL landmarks.

Me: Okay, turn left at the tree that's dead and looks haunted, turn left at the mailbox shaped like a fish - why is it shaped like a... doesn't matter, keep going - a right at the pretty spotted horse, and finally a left at the stoplight. Oh, civilization! I made it!
...and now to head back. Just need to turn at the stoplight and any minute the horse will appear on my left... any minute...
...
Unless, of course, the horse is a fucking horse. with legs. and is therefore mobile. Shit.

Long story short, dear Readers, I learned two things today: One, I am an idiot, and two, you can order a mailbox to look like darn near anything.