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Can you be a close friends with someone who once your lover???

I'm on thin ice, folks.... I can't swim.

Nichole765 7 Feb 13
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18 comments

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Maybe not close but u can be cool with them...I think

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I have done it twice, not really close, close friends. It can work, theoretically. Did not for me.

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I think it can be done but both parties MUST be open and honest with one another and with themselves... and I think if either party starts catching feelings they need to tell the other party and either take some space apart or break off said friendship. Not everyone is capable of being just friends with a former lover.

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Yes. I am.

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I do have some friends like that.

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I can't. I've tried and for me it never works out. That's why I don't do FWB because in my experience someone gets emotionally involved and it ends badly.

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One of my very best friends is someone I lived with for nine years. I was good friends with another lady I lived with in the seventies, but she started dating this Pepsi VP, and he didn't like the fact we were friends and couldn't believe had we lived together, so our friendship ended. And there was one FWB who was my friend even after she got married. That is only three out of, we won't go there, but it is possible. It generally doesn't last. Life will usually get in the way.

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Trust your instinct. Do you see yourself doing this?

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This is so tough! I recently told an ex that "this is not healthy"! It sucked but if there are any residual feelings at all, then i would say "Get out before you drown"

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Why not? Break-ups are not always difficult and we should strive to make our break-up as not being the end of the world. I had a short term relationship with a woman and it was evident too fast too far so we backed off. We are still close after >20 years. (Her name is Jill and we tell people we broke up was because we got tired of all the Jack & Jill comments (we heard lots).

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Yes absolutely. I am.

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Yes sometimes.
Me and my Ex wife where friend before getting married.
We are still friends

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No, I cannot. Once we are done, we are done.

Agreed. I think if i had to see him again it would kill me.

@Dandewine You are a sweetheart. I worry about killing him!

@Spinliesel i don't even kill bugs. He wouldn't want me back anyway. I got tattoos since we split and he don't like that. I am good... i am.

@Spinliesel and thanks for calling me a sweetheart. ?

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I'd reckon that depends on what you really want in your heart of hearts.

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I don't know what some can do..I can't.

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Short answer, absolutely NOT ...also speaking from experience.
Men will just keep asking for free stuff if you stay friends....food, money, a couch to crash on, sex...etc.

If there is an X in front of their title (exboyfriend, exhusband, exlover) that means you need to send them packing permanently.

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I'm not saying you can't. I have never managed it, but I only tried once. She suddenly became very religious. I still talk to her, but we aren't really friends.

JimG Level 8 Feb 13, 2019
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Short answer, absolutely and speaking from experience.

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